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I am a caregiver to my mother and grandmother. I go above and beyond to make sure they are well taken care of - and I have even went as far as to put my own personal life with my husband on hold to spend my days/nights taking care of them at times. (Thankfully my husband is very understanding!) The issue I am having is that a family member who has caused nothing but health general life issues for both my mother and grandmother is continually contacting the Area Agency on Aging and falsely reporting abuse, neglect, fraud, and more. (For instance: saying that my grandmother gets locked in a tiny room, doesn't get fed much of the time, is left alone constantly, is not allowed visitors/phone calls, and is physically abused - to name a few!!). It is at least 1 time per month that these people come out to "investigate" the claims made. In the beginning I laughed at the thought that this person came thinking there was something very wrong happening and in the end, saw that my grandmother was a VERY happy/healthy woman and then immediately closed the case. However, now we are close to 10 "investigations" where my grandmother (who had 2 strokes and cannot speak well or even say her name when asked) is put through the ringer with nonsense questions. Being that she isn't able to answer, she gets upset and depressed that she can't get the words out to explain that this is NONSENSE! However, after that many visits - this agency is STILL harassing us because of that 1 family member who is constantly calling them. After so many "investigations" turning into a total joke and everything claimed to be false, I am now at the point that I am seeking advice and help to stop the harassment. If there were anything found to be wrong at any point/visit, I may understand the repetitive "game" they are playing with our lives - but there has NEVER once been anything wrong or true that was reported and I cannot understand why these people cannot see they are only hurting my family - not helping now after so much of it. Does anyone know what to do or who to contact regarding harassment and false accusations? I am aware of the option to contact a lawyer to help - but we cannot afford that right now and even so, I do not want to have to put my family through anything more than we already deal with from this nonsense. If anyone has had a similar experience of even knows of a place to contact about getting this stopped - I would greatly appreciate anything you can offer! If it matters, this is all taking place in Pennsylvania (not sure how laws differ regarding this type of thing according to each states laws). if you could please contact me to let me know (or hopefully I get a notification to return here if a response is left. Thank you all in advance....I am at the end of the rope on this situation and do not know where to turn for help.

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LoveMyFamily, I have a lot of sympathy for you because I've endured a very similar situation. I've been the sole care giver for my 85 year old mother who suffers with dementia for 15 years. A few years ago a marshal delivered a court notice to my elderly mother that she was being sued by a bank for $27,000. I immediately went to a friend that happens to be an attorney to find out what this was all about. Well, it turned out that my scamming no good sister and her evil son had signed mothers name as a buyer on a SUV then they did not pay for it, so the bank was now suing mother. I confronted my sister about it and demanded she and her husband (Who happens to work as a corrections officer at a prison) pay the bill for the SUV they were using but was leaving mother to pay for. Of course they told me to stay out of it or they would get even. They ended up reporting me to Adult protective services with very similar lies that were told against you. If you pray to father God and trust in the Lord Jesus Christ this is where the part in the Bible that says that the Lord will cause your enemies to fall into their own traps really shines -The investigator for Adult protective services said I was doing a good job taking care of mom then she talked to the Attorney I had and took information and a copy of the lawsuit involving my evil sister and her son and what they had done to sign my mothers name to their SUV.

My advice would be to contact an Attorney and possibly the FBI. I think the FBI actually investigates abuse of government agencies for purposes of harassment.

God bless you.
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LoveMyFamily, what a hideous position you are in!

It sounds like it is your relative who is harrassing you. I think I would start by talking to the police department. There are laws against what that person is doing.

The protection agency is just doing its job, in a way. And maybe the files are closed after each incident, so the history isn't obvious. I'd write them a nice polite letter thanking them for the work they do protecting vulnerable adults and explaining your situation in concise detail. Ask them what you can do to avoid further wastes of their time and further distress to Gramma.

Depending on the outcome of these two steps, you may want to bring this up with your local state representative, and/or the local news media. It is a fine human interest story.

Good luck!
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Jeanne's advice to contact the Area Agency on Aging is right on. I think the wording she suggested is the way to go - non-confrontational. The letter should be written to the Executive Director who is the employee who has the most authority at AAA and who may not even know what's going on in this particular situation. Be sure to let them know the exact remedy you expect and a deadline (two weeks) to hear back from him or her. If you do not hear back from the Director or you do not get the satisfaction you're entitled to, the next step is to contact the Board of Directors.

The office on aging is culpable here. Obviously they are not asking the complainant the right questions in order to determine whether there's actually a problem. You may just want to call their office and ask for their grievance procedure. If they have one, you'd want to follow that on up the chain of command.

Good luck to you - Iet us know how this situation plays out.
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I think it's great that there are agencies and people to look out for the best interest of the elderly (as many cannot express the issues themselves). However, when there is nothing wrong and they continually harass a family, I would think that there would/should be some sort of law to protect the family FROM this type of thing. Obviously showing that time and time again isn't enough to prove that this is not legitimate...I just don't know if there is a law to help someone in this situation or if there is a certain set of steps to take to have this put to an end within the legal system....I am just lost about it all. This is the most bothersome thing one can go through....not only is it COMPLETELY offensive to me as the caregiver, but to sit back and watch my 83 yr old grandmother get worked up after being questioned time after time - it sickens me! I am thinking of contacting the state representatives office possibly to see if there may be something I can do to help protect my family. There is a thick line between investigating something legitimate which leads to finding something wrong and investigating numerous times with never having anything wrong yet turning the helping hand into harassment and practically slapping one in the face! It's definitely one of the worst things a person in my position can go through....especially since I am practically helpless until I get someone on my side to help point out the harm these people are causing, rather than helping.
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You need to see an attorney. This is not a matter of someone trying to see if an elderly person is cared for but is harassment, abuse, and even stalking to some degree. An attorney can lay out your options and someone who is doing this sort of thing knowing their accusations are false can be prosecuted for this.
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I would like to know same boat
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Acohen, you might want to start your own thread with your question.

Are you being harassed by APS?
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Dear LoveMyFamily, I feel for you because I am experiencing the same thing with the care of my 74 year old mother, who suffers from dementia and other mental illnesses. Adult Protective Services in Arizona are harassers!! Power hungry agents who flaunt their power more than help the people in need. I first contacted APS because my incarcerated brother was exploiting my mother for thousands of dollars. APS did nothing at all. Now they are harassing me and invading my and my mothers privacy. Unfortunately we live in a world of government corruption and abuse. There is nothing a person without money can do, this is why this harassment by these agencies happens. Many states have free legal assistance for poor people. Although it is not always good assistance, it is legal assistance. Look around and try to get legal help. You may also have a cause to petition your local court for an injunction against harassment. Look into that. Although you are dipping into the pot of boiling oil, reach out to you local congressman. They "might" help. If not, don't vote for them next time they run for office. In the United States today, the citizens must grin and bear allot from our government, as they are protected by law enforcement, who are licensed to kill. The sick part of that is, we pay their salaries. Good Luck!! - David
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I am going through this with my former husband. I still live here since I am disabled. He told me I could. These people believed someone who had dementia and never asked me. Now it is wrong how they accused me of taking his money. I just wrote to a lawyer and the best thing is to get Legal Shield. For about $25.00 a month you could contact your attorney. The best to all of us.
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I honestly have to answer this from 2 perspectives.
The first: As my 92 yr old motherinlaw has deteriorated with her dementia, and after she was hospitalized twice, we hired a live in care giver for her. Since both of her son and daughter live 2- 3 hours away, we relieve the care giver 2- 3 times a month.

On my SIL 's weekend she would swear up and down her mother was getting wonderful care. As it turns out the SIL would demand her mother wait up for her to arrive as well as keep her mother awake until midnight even though her regular hour of sleep is 8pm, and even though she would be falling asleep in the chair. She says my mommy likes to spend all the time with me she can. My SIL would refuse to give my MIL her meals, medications ontime. She also would not adhere to the medical advice from the doctor for her mother. After breaking her hip my MIL's balance is poor so high heels are an issue of safety. After my SIL being told this she insists her mother can wear the heels. My SIL brings her married boyfriend on most of her weekends and they have their gin cocktails 2-3 of them. My MIL because of her dementia would never remember or recognize the poor treatment, and say why she had a wonderful time.

The other perspective is I am a medical professional and oversee my MIL's care because in the past my SIL has neglected needed care and used her financially. Taking care of an elderly person never mind 2 of them is hard enough without someone accusing you of mistreatment. If all your relatives hygeine needs are met, they are fed properly and on time, given their medications, are in a safe environment, are not taken advantage of, receive the necessary medical treatment , there is no cause for reporting to Office on Aging. It is important to keep good records.

If someone is making false allegations, first I would see if you are able to find out who is doing that. It does seem to be harassment and they are making false reports. There are laws against doing that. I would gather up all the information from the office on aging they allow you to have. If there were unfounded accusations, I'd have a lawyer send a letter to the person who made the complaint to cease and desist.
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