Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Thanks everyone! My husband is still very independent. i have been trying to let him stay independent until he gets real bad, but that time is approaching quickly. I had a very strong talk with him, and he agreed to stop. I also told him I am going to tell everyone at the store he has dementia, and he doesn't want that! So hopefully it will stop. One good thing though, he is going to take the driving skills test that the Dr wants him to take, that was part of the agreement not to tell everyone. I still think I am going to alert the store management.
You took the words right out of my mouth when you wrote that his judgment is flawed. Often we have to make up for their lack of judgment, like going with them when they are at risk of doing something. One thing you have in your favor is that he has dementia. If he does get caught walking out with something, explain to the police and store manager what the problem is and make restitution. I hope that it is a phase he is going through that will not last long. I know it is stressful.
Oh, shoplifting? If he will not stop, don't take him to the store any more. Or, if there is a store where this happens frequently you might consider talking with the manager, explain the problem, hen let him get caught once, maybe that will cure him. If the store knew ahead of time, they most likely would not call the authorities.
MY FIL when the dementia wasn't as bad as it is now did the same once we had to put him into assisted living memory unit the "stealing" still happened. I think its just part of the illness as everyone on the floor took things. when they take it they really think its theirs and is ok to take. Again just part of the illness. My FIL had a walker and when he left his room he thought the hall with all the wonderful tables in the halls set up with wonderful decorations was the Mall and he was shopping. He would fill his basket take it back to his room and put the stuff out once a week the staff would gather all those things not his and put them back in the display. When he would participate in activities something would end up in his basket and again once a week or when they needed it the staff would get the stuff. It wasn't just him though every resident on the memory loss floor did this (they either had Alzheimer's or dementia) After he went in we found out my MIL would cover for him in stores when they went shopping.
If its something he is going to continue to do then I just wouldn't take him with you to the stores especially if you know its a busy time of the day and you can't keep an eye on him.
I've experienced this with my mom and she has dementia and just slips little things in her purse sometimes. I gently remind her when we get to the register that she put the item in her purse. She'll have other items in a cart or basket but a trinket maybe that she "shoplifts". I'm appalled and don't understand it -- it's like she feels entitled yet she has plenty of money. I remind her "its shoplifting" and then she says, I wasn't shoplifting, don't know how it got there, fell in, etc. -- but my gut tells me otherwise. She's 91.
I'm not with her most of the time, she lives out of state and independently. I just remind her if she is caught shoplifting the store may prosecute and I threaten she could go to jail or they'll put her in a NH....
If she gets caught, she gets caught and although that will be traumatic it is a consequence we can't control. The only thing you can do is make sure you are with him at all times and keep an eye on him. Other than that, he will have to suffer the humiliation if he gets caught. If you get home with the item; do the right thing and return to the store and pay for it.
I would let the stores know of his issues so they hopefully won't press charges if they catch him. But you have to remember dementia is a tough illness and yes there are times when there seems like nothing is wrong and they can "agree" to not do something but then end up doing it anyway. They really just don't know they are doing it sometimes. So even though he says he won't do something 10 min later you may find him doing it. They just don't remember and for us taking care of someone with this issue it is really frustrating. We have a van and my MIL needs a step stool to get into the van. We were going out one day and I told her to get ready and wait for me by the car. Mostly so I could make sure she didn't fall backwards which she does do sometimes. I got a phone call I had to take and in the 5 min I was on the phone she forgot she needed a step stool even though I tell her every time she get in the van she needs it. I get to the car and she is laying on her stomach on the passenger seat trying to pull herself into the van by grabbing the drivers seat. She is only 4' 9" tall (very short) so she was like a turtle with no traction. Got her out and yup I was yelling at her more for the fear like you would have when you find your toddler doing something dangerous and she kept telling me she knew she was supposed to use the step stool (next to the van by the way) but just didn't because she forgot and she though she could make it. So frustrating but she just can't help it and will continue to try to do this even though she has reassured me she will always use the step.
Its so hard to know that even though they seem like they can reason these things out, make promises ect they really can't because the illness is such that they just don't have control over these things. When they say it they really do mean it but 5 min later they just don't remember.
The biggest problem I have with my husband is that he still goes out alone. I just became aware of the whole stealing thing about 2 weeks ago. My husband feels there is nothing wrong with him, "just a little memory loss from old age" He is 81. I am 66. The Drs have told him he has dementia but, he doesn't remember they told him. So when I try to tell him, he thinks I am saying he is crazy, and I am the only one. I am going to call the Dr and have him explain it to him again. I don't want to take away his independence, but I am getting afraid that might be the safest way to protect him. He is very high functioning. He takes care of his personnal hygiene, and can prepare some small breakfast food. Even though I find lately he is taking showers much less than before. He was a shower a day man, now he might shower once a week at best. He is good at pretending to be ok around other people, but that is starting to crack. I have gotten calls from people saying they think he is forgetting things. He doesn't want anybody to know his condition. His brother has alzhiemers. He often says how bad his brother is, but he doesn't realize he is heading in that direction. I took care of my grandfather who had dementia along time before he passed, I should be use to it. But it is different in each person, and this is my husband, whom I love dearly. I believe in Jesus, and my faith will bring me through this. Amen.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If its something he is going to continue to do then I just wouldn't take him with you to the stores especially if you know its a busy time of the day and you can't keep an eye on him.
I'm not with her most of the time, she lives out of state and independently. I just remind her if she is caught shoplifting the store may prosecute and I threaten she could go to jail or they'll put her in a NH....
If she gets caught, she gets caught and although that will be traumatic it is a consequence we can't control. The only thing you can do is make sure you are with him at all times and keep an eye on him. Other than that, he will have to suffer the humiliation if he gets caught. If you get home with the item; do the right thing and return to the store and pay for it.
Its so hard to know that even though they seem like they can reason these things out, make promises ect they really can't because the illness is such that they just don't have control over these things. When they say it they really do mean it but 5 min later they just don't remember.
See All Answers