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When a mind is dementing its hard enough, but add evil to bthat and I feel defeated. I've been fighting it off trying my very best to protect her. But she feels like she must help, She does'nt know the meaning of enableing. I have looked for answers from freinds and family. I've looked for answerrs in the bible, and it's a 50/50 on stay or go. I just wondered has anyone else had to experience what its like. I'm 58 unmarried and 55 bof theses years has been here with her or next door. Its destoying me at thew thought of leaving. but knowing what your leaving her with to care for her... its almost more than I know how to. Evil seems to find victory more and more. where are the answers to continue? how to continue? is it death before death arrives? cause thats what it feels like now.

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Sheepherder, you sound very upset and burnt out and need help, but I'm not exactly sure what is going on.

Your dad died 2 years ago?

You have been taking care of your mom for 2 years?

Now your older brother who has a drug addiction is taking all her money?

I'm trying to break things down so it's more understandable .

What is exactly the question?
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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Does anyone have POA ?

This is the person responsible for your mother .

To answer your question , we have seen other scenarios on this Forum where a parent ends up trusting the evil child , and turning on the child who was caring for them . Some have had to leave as it was a losing battle and wasn’t good for them . You sound at the end of your rope. Your life matters too . It’s ok to leave if you need too.

If the evil child has POA , not much you can do unless you went to court to try to get guardianship of Mom , which can be expensive .

I’ve come to the conclusion and accepted that not all elderly have a pleasant end of life and we can’t always change that . And we don’t have to die trying .
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Reply to waytomisery
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Here is helpful info about you and your situation from your profile:

"'I am caring for my mother, who is 79 years old, living at home with age-related decline, alzheimer's / dementia, depression, hearing loss, heart disease, urinary tract infection, and vision problems.

I'm 56 yrs old, I'm living with my mom as I have the last 18 yrs. I'm not married and have a adult daughter who lives in Florida. Bad life choices or just feeling comfortable at home with mom and dad? either way when I did I come back I did so alone, no boyfriends no husband or any body else. My dad just recently passed two yrs ago and its just been me and mother. And we have moved on to enjoy the rest of what time we have together, I have 2 brothers , I'm in the middle. Now at this point other family and myself are glad that I'm here with her. I've done my best to keep thing's repaired and keep the place up inside and out. She recently fell out of her bed at the hospital and was hurt, and needed 24/7 care. so I kind of was put into care giving by default. I don't mind, and she has made a remarkable recovery but now, well but things have taken a sinister turn thanks to my eldest sibling. now my life is pure hell everyday and theres nothing I can do. We ( me and my younger brother) knew she was giving money to him and his wife. who is on drugs and have a gambling addiction. but I was told that if she wanted to give him everything shes got she has the right to do so. Now aftyer her accident he is totally absent, no visits just nothing. Now I just started back to work and my 2nd day i come home to find their sorry selves and their belongings for they have moved in our house. now she's mad at me !!! I'm at a loss for this, its just crazy chaos and she despises me. her DR.said that her concussion caused dementia to increase. hes taking advantage of her thats bad enough but the deceit he's caused is unforgivable. I love my mom. but it appears I've been cast out over lies and a manipulating piece of crap. i feel like I'm diying. sorry about the spelling and grammer"
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Reply to Geaton777
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You clearly need and deserve peace, and peace you will not find living where you are. I hope you’ll move and build a life away from the current toxic stew
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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Yes Sheepherder - I have had to let Go . That is terrible to come home and find people have Moved into your home and have no Boundaries . Geaton asked " If you have Power of attorney ? " Your Mother can't be reasoned with she is under his influence . Time to Move on and start your Own Life . What May Happen is once they get Bored or empty out the bank account and sell everything they will Move on . What You Can do If You Had Power of Attorney Or have a medical Diagnosis Is Find a attorney to freeze any assets and that will state " Your Mom Cant make financial decisions and the assets are frozen . " I would suggest Perhaps living near your Daughter - Finding a New Living space If Possible . When you're a caregiver it is hard to save Money while you can't work . It Maybe time to close this chapter and start your Life .
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Reply to KNance72
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