At some point sooner or later, MIL will cease her life here on this earth and I will have to pretend to be saddened by her passing. I will have to be worth of an Oscar, though, because I will not be saddened at all.
She was admitted to the hospital two days ago with what they "think is a kidney stone", but they haven't decided even yet what to do about it. She has diabetes and her sugar readings are always high lately, even on consistent medications and insulin. She is refusing to eat at the hospital and is very, very weak now. She hasn't kept any food down since early last Saturday.
I've had two days now of complete relaxation and it feels great. They can keep her there for a month and I would appreciate it a lot. My house is quiet with the oxygen concentrator turned off and the oscillating fan turned off, her TV turned off. Things seem normal again for a few minutes.
I guess I am burned out. Maybe I was a long time ago, though. You can't unburn paper. Can you fix burnout in caregivers? My husband had bought two pygmy goats to help graze a hill and I thought they were the best stress relievers I had ever had, but now his dog won't stop barking at them. Now there's some stress that I can't live with. I want to jerk that dog's vocal cords out!
Carol
I know i have been grieving for my mom for years and she is living with me.
Maybe you are just burnt out
as a child. I can remember the nights I was thrown into the cellar 3 and 4 days without food. Now I have to visit her in a nursing home. I have to deal with
forgiveness because it is for me not her. She could care less. Thank God for this forum. Let the healing process began funnierthanme
You don't owe anyone an oscar performance. Keep your responses dignified, for your sake. Grieve the loss you've always experienced and which is over now. No faked responses are needed.