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My mother has Alzheimer's and lives in memory care near me. My stepfather (who lives in a different city) is her POA. I am her successor POA if he cannot serve due to "death, incapacity or written resignation". He had a stroke three weeks ago and is now in a nursing home. His daughter is his POA. I have a document signed by the psychiatrist that admitted him saying that he is unable to make his own medical decisions. However, my mother's bank will not accept this document as proof of incapacity in order to transfer POA to me. They state that the document must specify that he cannot make "financial" decisions. I have been trying for three weeks to get another doctor to sign a new form and have had no luck. I keep being told that they do not have "anything to do with financial matters". It's so frustrating, especially since I live about three hours away. I called around trying to find an independent doctor that would go evaluate him, but could not find one. I've spoken to my lawyer about maybe having my stepsister sign a document resigning his POA, but they do not know if that will work. Does anyone have any other ideas?

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banks will ignore a normal POA financial or medical and want their own specific one. they are the worst
Go to an elder law attorney and they can get it straightened out.
but, even before my Mom was incapacitated, her bank made us jump through hoops to get a POA approved.
And even after my Dad's death, I was the executrix and had the death certificate and will in hand, and they gave me a hard time closing his accounts.

I HATE BANKS!
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AlvaDeer Sep 2023
Get a bank officer. A good solid POA done by an ATTORNEY is ILLEGAL to ignore. The Bank knows this. Tell the bank that you will be seeing your attorney and are considering a suit against their illegal actions.

Not again to defend banks but they are there to PROTECT their clients. They do not have POAs for demented patients. And it would be illegal for one to suggest that a demented person sign a new POA. But the bank WILL have its own way of making the account. None of this adding your name to a parent's account as co-owner. That's a no-no.
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I agree, an Elder Attorney (or the lawyer who drafted the original) needs to be involved and that cost can be taken from Moms money once you are POA. His daughter stepping down as his POA has nothing to do with this. You need a letter written and signed that your stepfather can no longer make informed decisions concerning the care your mother, medically or financially. The letter u have says he can't make HIS own medical decisons.
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Even if you had all the proper documentation some banks just refuse to work with POAs. Bank of America was awful to deal with. My father's credit union bent over backwards to be helpful to me.
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AlvaDeer Sep 2023
I have a feeling this is a divided family problem, not a banking one. The bank is correct not to remove this woman's CURRENT husband as her POA without proof, and transfer POA without proof he cannot serve. They are absolutely RIGHT and doing their fiduciary duty. There is going to have to be an attorney who will write letters getting competency information and this won't be given to a child of the first father, it seems, by the family of the second. They may not want their dad to loose POA over his wife until they know he can't recover? We can't know the reasoning here. But this moves now into a guardianship or conservatorship and a legal issue and legal question. The court and the attorneys are needed, not bankers who can do nothing in this instance until and unless the doctors give letters attesting to the husband's incompetency to act for his wife.
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I would also post this question to www.Bogleheads.org. A couple of really good estate attorneys there who might have a good answer.
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This is not going to be easy. You will need the help of an elder law attorney I am almost certain. You will not get the stepfather's doctor to cooperate with you. In the absence of his children cooperating to get a form letter signed by his MD I am afraid you may need to file for guardianship of your mother or conservatorship.

See an attorney. You Mom's funds can be reimbursed once this is accomplished but it is a bit of a mess in mixed families. And so much more costly and complicated. Any way you look at it this will be a court action; try to go the cheapest way. Any guardianship or conservatorship trumps the POA.

First ditch effort contact the MC where Mom is and tell them. They may be connected with a Social worker. Often they can make a phone call to a judge to get temporary guardianship. And then you would follow through for permanent. They would have better access to MDs.
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