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So I did a vacation with my mom she very good after few days. How do other caregivers cope with or what do they do if they have no other support meaning like if Caregiver gets sick or passes what happens with lived one. My brother is mentally ill due to past drug usage, my sister the same. I have a friend in another state who would take care and is executor of my Estate and have told her that I want my mom in nursing home as there is no one else to care for her. She does have memory issues and I help her bathe and get dressed. Other that she is not that hard. Would an elder attorney help me or should I move her into a felicity now? I am 60yrs old she is 82ys I am very healthy but as God says we are not promised tomorrow. Just seeing what other folks planning if the single Caregiver.

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I wouldn't preemptively move her to a facility, unless you just can not continue as is.

I would have everything in writing though. Like where she will go, who will be her advocate and how her care will be paid for, as well as updated medical records with medications and what level of care she is as of this date; updated quarterly, biannual or when there is a shift in status. The status should list what care she requires and how it is accomplished now, ie mom time to shower works best for her vs mom, do you want to shower now? Mom likes black coffee or heavily creamed coffee, cats scare mom or whatever, if she has any phobias, little things are so important with dementia.

In my personal opinion, this is the kindest thing we can do for our loved ones that can not speak up or advocate for themselves. If money allows, require a daily companion that helps mom have the best quality of care and life possible in the event you die 1st.

We should all be prepared for end of life and we should prepare for the continued care of a loved one. Well done for bringing this up and preparing for your mom.
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You matter just as much as your mom does. You sound exhausted. You have been caregiving on your own for quite some time. You deserve to resume your life.

Your profile states that your mom has dementia. She isn’t going to improve. Please don’t feel guilty or allow anyone else to make you feel guilty about looking into placement for your mom.

I think you will have peace of mind by placing her in a facility. You know that she will receive care and you can be an advocate for her.

Facilities will tell you that it’s better to place a person before it becomes absolutely necessary to do so because they will acclimate better. You can visit your mom and then go home to rest.

You state in your profile that you need a break. It’s wise of you to recognize this, instead of pushing yourself until you burn out.

I wish you peace as you continue on this difficult journey.
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A visit with an elder law attorney would help to put your mind and spirit at rest. Having a plan in place, one for the future, and even including the present will help tremendously
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