I am my elderly father's healthcare proxy. He is now in a nursing home on the memory care unit. This happened two months ago. He has been diagnosed with advance stage Alzheimer's and is deemed incompetent. My stepmother refuses to cooperate with the Medicaid application by not providing the needed financial information/documents. She will not pay any of his medical bills either. His Social Security check is going into their joint checking account, I do not have financial POA and do not wish to become his conservator due to the inability to access his assets. Adult Protective Services is involved. My predicament is being able to make medical decisions knowing the bills will not be paid for any medical treatment not covered by Medicare. My stepmother is refusing to pay the nursing home bill that was given to her. Without payment the nursing home will give a 30 day notice of eviction. No other nursing home would take him and my stepmother will not allow him back home. There is joint ownership of the home. Does anyone have experience in this situation that can offer me advice or reassurance that I am not responsible for his medical bills or be held legally liable for not providing for my father a place to live. He needs 24/7 care which no one would be able to provide or could afford? Should I resign from the Healthcare Proxy? There is a contingent, but if I resign she will resign also.
The home cannot be accessed (sold, mortgaged) for nursing home payment while your step-mother still lives in it. Your father's SS can be directed to the nursing home by a guardian. I encourage you to see an elder law attorney and reconsider becoming your father's guardian. As the guardian you can access any financial records your father could. During the guardian process, a guardian-at-litum will be appointed that can also access those records and with the court's permission access your father's funds to pay his bills.