Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
My fathers sickness has taken a toll on our family. My mother my husband and two samll children. Is it healthy for my two toddlers to live in the same house
Unless something is going wrong, your toddlers may learn compassion in life by example. If something else is happening, that would be a different story. You haven't shared how your Dad's illness has taken a toll on everyone. Is it the assistive care that he needs, or is it just hard to see him sick or suffering and you all feel helpless? Your toddlers' health depends on your handling of the situation and the balance you and the other adults may add to their lives. They are more resilient than adults, in my opinion. Hope your situation works to your satisfaction, ultimately.
My daughter helped take care of her DAD who had cancer and passed away, then helped take care of my DAD who had heart problems.She's 10 now and is the most compassionate human being I have ever known. Our ordeal has made her wise beyond her years. I wished everything could have been the way we had first dreamed it would have been. I wanted to be a good role model and my dad was a good role model for me. She is super little girl. I don't understand why my brothers are so cold and uncaring.Why is it always one sibling with the most compassion?Why is it mostly female?
It depends upon what kind of illness he has, it's symptoms and how it affects the others in the household. Another consideration is : How big is the house? If you have a large spread, then everyone can live their own way. If it's a tiny three-bedroom with one family room, one tv and one dining table, then there may be a problem. I love Caregiverslight's response.
Hi Lori--I am in agreement as well with Caregiverslights, and some others...Why shield the toddlers from your dad's illness if he is not contageous? The children of today, are quite resilient....and have that right to know what is going on in the family. We all learn by our experiences.
Now if your father has dementia/alz and is acting inappropriate with your young children, then of course he has to go. But I agree, if he's not got a contagious disease, then it would be good for both the children, and dad to have them around him. Kids make us feel younger I think.
Well I don't know about that making us feel young thing :) but kids do have a way of adjusting and adapting to things with a lot more ease that we old folk do. No matter what age a person is, there's always something that kids say that makes them laugh. I like to laugh.
That is an excellent point, naheaton about the life most children bring into our older lives. Same with the laughter, I agree, pamela.
tennessee, don't be so quick to beat up on yourself as not being the best role model. As for your siblings who may not care, it is hard, no doubt, but it is also an expectation imposed on them. Sad though it may be, they are not required to care, but it may be that they do care and simply do not have the emotional strength you have to face the circumstances you are facing with your Dad. Family, or not, I choose to not blame anyone who runs away from the enormity of caregiving. Being a caregiver requires commitment that some folks simply don't have, or simply may not have the endurance or energy. I really do understand that and can't blame anyone who backs off, though I personally don't choose to live my life that way when it comes to providing assistive care to either of my parents.
If you feel up to it and think it will help you to move forward, you may want to consider calling a family meeting with your siblings to let them know how you feel and offering them ideas of what they might consider doing to pitch in. If you do go that route, still remember that it is all about our own expectations of what another person who is a relative ought to be doing. They are free agents who may decide otherwise, which still leaves the issue of an unmet expectation- unless we choose to adjust, let go, and move on to plan b. It is hard to be primary caregiver. I understand, first hand. Sounds like you may need a break. There is nothing wrong with that. If family won't come to your aid, you may want to consider respite services? Whatever you do, celebrate that you are doing your very best. Don't bash yourself, ok?
Oh man! I'm going to have to make a list for my son and daughter-in-law for the future I guess. When and if I go down this road with dementia/alz.. Yes - tell me when I stink and throw me in the shower if necessary Yes - if I start saying mean things to you, throw me in a 'home' No - don't feel guilty, cause you were a wonderful son No - if your dad has died before me and I don't remember, then don't tell me the truth. I won't remember it anyhow Yes - go to the doctor appts with me, cause I like to argue with drs. No- don't have me live with you unless I can respect your space & need for privacy. Yes - as soon as I start becoming clingy and whiny, tell me to 'buck up' & put my big girl pants on. This is life! It will be kinda like an advance directive for when I lose my marbles so he won't have to go on a website like this looking for answers. :)
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If not,i don't se a problem
Hap
tennessee, don't be so quick to beat up on yourself as not being the best role model. As for your siblings who may not care, it is hard, no doubt, but it is also an expectation imposed on them. Sad though it may be, they are not required to care, but it may be that they do care and simply do not have the emotional strength you have to face the circumstances you are facing with your Dad. Family, or not, I choose to not blame anyone who runs away from the enormity of caregiving. Being a caregiver requires commitment that some folks simply don't have, or simply may not have the endurance or energy. I really do understand that and can't blame anyone who backs off, though I personally don't choose to live my life that way when it comes to providing assistive care to either of my parents.
If you feel up to it and think it will help you to move forward, you may want to consider calling a family meeting with your siblings to let them know how you feel and offering them ideas of what they might consider doing to pitch in. If you do go that route, still remember that it is all about our own expectations of what another person who is a relative ought to be doing. They are free agents who may decide otherwise, which still leaves the issue of an unmet expectation- unless we choose to adjust, let go, and move on to plan b. It is hard to be primary caregiver. I understand, first hand. Sounds like you may need a break. There is nothing wrong with that. If family won't come to your aid, you may want to consider respite services? Whatever you do, celebrate that you are doing your very best. Don't bash yourself, ok?
Yes - tell me when I stink and throw me in the shower if necessary
Yes - if I start saying mean things to you, throw me in a 'home'
No - don't feel guilty, cause you were a wonderful son
No - if your dad has died before me and I don't remember, then don't tell me the truth. I won't remember it anyhow
Yes - go to the doctor appts with me, cause I like to argue with drs.
No- don't have me live with you unless I can respect your space & need for privacy.
Yes - as soon as I start becoming clingy and whiny, tell me to 'buck up' & put my big girl pants on. This is life!
It will be kinda like an advance directive for when I lose my marbles so he won't have to go on a website like this looking for answers. :)
See All Answers