Is it emotionally healthy for a widow to continue to live in the home where they lived with the now deceased spouse?

Wow! Where to begin? Is it emotionally healthy for a widowed spouse to continue to live in the house where they lived with their spouse? I certainly hope so, because that is what the vast majority of us do.

My mother continued to live in the same apartment after my father died, for 15 years. She now lives with a daughter, simply because she has dementia and needs help with activities of daily living. All three of Mom's sisters and one sister-in-law continued to live where they had lived with their husbands. They all seem/seemed emotionally healthy to me.

My husband died a month ago. I intend to continue living in this house we shared until I can't afford it, can't keep it up, or need help. This is where my furniture fits. This is were I display my collectibles. This is where I have good neighbors. I know where the nearest all-night drugstore is, and my hair stylist is less than a mile away. This is where every room has bookshelves and tons of my books, and, yes, my late husband's books. This is where my life is centered. If I had to move now, over and above absorbing the HUGE change in my life from my husband's death, I think the emotional trauma would be overwhelming. One life-changing event at a time, please.

Are there constant reminders of my husband in this house? Certainly. Do you think I wouldn't notice that I'm a widow if I didn't see those reminders? Any one who thinks that without visual reminders a widow won't think of her late husband and miss him has simply not experienced the death of a spouse.

If there were certain reminders that were just too painful, I'd make changes to that aspect of the house. I wondered if I would want to redecorate our bedroom, for example. But I have decided that I love my bedroom and I feel peaceful knowing my dear husband finished his life in such a pleasant room. Is that emotionally unhealthy? I don't think so.

I am working on removing all of his clothing (I want the closet space) ... and the kids and grandkids all want mementos. I am also keeping a few items. We all like the idea of having a reminder of our husband/father/grandfather. I saw our daughter in one of her dad's golf shirts last week and it truly made me feel good. I don't think that having visual reminders of someone you love is unhealthy. (Of course, if that is the only shirt she would wear, or she bawled every time she washed it, that would be a different matter. She just likes wearing it once in a while, and seeing it when she thumbs through shirts handing in her closet.)

Everyone comes to terms with grief in their own ways.

Does this elderly woman have health issues? Is she unable to care for herself? Does she have mobility issues, dementia, mental illness, etc? In general, I prefer to see elders remain living on their own, perhaps with some paid in-home care, as long as they safely can. Moving in with a child or having the child move in with them CAN be a good solution when independent living is no longer safe, but it isn't always the best solution. Many, many factors go into that decision. Simply being widowed is not sufficient reason to give up independence and live with an adult child.

I have no doubt at all that this elderly woman's daughter has the very best intentions. I don't think that she has a good grasp of what being widowed is really like. What does her mom want?

after the death of my uncle, my aunt surrounded herself with photos of him and grieved for a very long time. it was her personal way of coming to terms with her loss. her daughter suggested that she put the photos away and move on with a new chapter of her life. i think the photos were as close as she could be to him and she wasnt going to let go till she had healed a bit. im not answering your question very well but i think jeanne did .

Until we became so mobile, many adults lived in the same house they were born in and that was usually the house where other births and deaths had previously occurred. The Family Home is where life happened. If she is healthy and doesn't want to move why should she. She is in her home.

Seems perfectly normal to me. My Dad died 30+ years ago and my Mother is still in the same house. My neighbors' aunt lives in the same house her grandmother was born in, as well as her Mother, and they both died there.

Whitney, One of the reasons my mother-in-law was so upset about having to leave the home where she and her husband had lived for so long, was because she said that by leaving the house, she was leaving the memories behind.

I really think that continuity and familiarity provides comfort and healing for a person grieving from the loss of a spouse. There probably are some who would welcome a change in their environment. There is no limit on grief and everyone experiences it different. My fil lost his wife 3 years ago. He is still living in the same house. It gives him comfort. Holidays are still hard for him because they always had holiday dinners at their home and now that grandchildren are married and have in-laws, holidays are divided between their own families and spouses family. He goes out to lunch or breakfast with a group of widowers once a month, my husband and bil go out for breakfast with him once or twice a month among other things they do together.