My Dad wants to go home desperately. He is in a wheelchair and needs 24/7 care. He has threatend suicide many time out of deperation. It tears my heart apart but I cannot go back to getting him hime again. I kept him out of the nursing home for 2 years doing personal care and all the meds and scheduling when I cant be there. It is only me with no other family members help and I just cannot do that again. He is on MA and can get some services but not 24/7. I am burnt out and he just is so insistant. He is of sound mind and his own person so if he says to the nursing home call a cab they have to. Although they will call me first. How can I help him accept that he wont be going home?
Please keep us posted on how you are doing.
Carol
We can't make anyone accept anything. They either will or they won't. All you can do is be there for him as it dawns on him that he won't be going home again. You've done a good job as his caregiver, just try to give a little bit more until your dad is reconciled to the fact that he has to stay there.
It's ok to tell him that you can't care for him anymore, that he needs more care than you can provide and you want him to have that.
If he's in a wheelchair no one is going to call him a cab much less make sure he gets into one. But I understand his defiance. I saw my dad behave the same way at one point. The situation wasn't the same but the desperate threats were the same.
You're not responsible for making sure your dad accepts this new life. You can be supportive, be his cheerleader, help him adjust, but ultimately he will have to come to some kind of acceptance on his own, in his own way, in his own time.
Groovy1
So groovy1, you just keep doing what you're doing and stay groovy. ok?!
xo
-SS
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