My dad 78yrs is dealing with AD.9 months ago he had stroke which is fully recovered, but his AD was sped up. He thinks that he has stroke in his hand, which he does not. Medicines, therapies did not helped. He is very obssed, he is not sleeping, takli g from any other thing.Yesterday i took and left him to nursing home. I can not sleep or even breathe after he is gone. I always think if he is sad, things that i left him or even he hates me. I am his favorite person in the world being one and only child. I was always daddy’s girl until today.
they do not want us to visit him for a week until he completes his orientation.
what shall i do? i am so sad
He needs to learn that the caregivers will give him the help that he needs and it is not just you that can help him. If you were to visit sooner than they suggest he would rely on you not the caregivers.
He may tell you that he is unhappy, the food is bad, they are taking care of him but it is just like when you were a little kid in school and you would come home and tell your parents that ...no one likes me, the food is terrible, the teachers are mean.
Let him adjust.
When you do visit if he needs help with something the caregivers/aides should be doing let them do their job Again this is so he does not remain dependent on you.
When you get ready to leave don't make a fuss, tell him you will see him soon, give him a hug and a kiss and leave. As difficult as it is do not bring him home for the holidays. Bring family to him in small gatherings. Several visits over a few days is better than one day with 30 people at one time.
Yes you are sad but don't let dad know. when you leave save your tears for the car. If you are sad and upset he will pick up on that.
This is a lose-lose scenario, but you need to give him time to adjust, and you need to cut yourself a break. After all, you are reclaiming your own life. Make the most of it, and don’t drown yourself in guilt.
You will always be your daddy’s little girl, and you love him, choosing his health and wellbeing first. That’s the brave and kind thing to do, even if he doesn’t realize it.