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I can't get a caregiver to stay. They either don't get a long with mom or they quit. It's become a full time job to train new caregivers. I am so stressed out about it. I can't quit my job to care for her. Mom is scared of going to a nursing home. Shes been in a few before and hated it. It seems like caregivers just want easy clients.

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I’m so sorry that you and your mom are in this situation.

Where are you finding your caregivers? Perhaps try a new source. Explain to them exactly what the job entails so they know exactly what they are facing.

It’s important to be honest, then the caregivers are aware of the situation without experiencing any surprises.

Also, tour different facilities. You may find one that suits your requirements for your mother’s care.

You are wise not to consider quitting your job in order to care for your mother.

Best wishes to you and your mother.
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Sounds like mother is too difficult for one person to care for , due to stroke. wheelchair bound and only one working arm. Hopefully you have durable POA because your mother needs to be in a nursing home. If not , I recommend going to an elder care lawyer. You could also call your local dept of aging and tell them you have to work and mom obviously can't be home alone . They can have mother placed in a facility.
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One home caregiver isn’t enough. You need a team.

That’s expensive. Your mom needs to go to a nursing home. At this point it doesn’t matter if she’s scared. Perhaps anxiety meds would help her.

Lots of people try the home care route, but often they find themselves in your situation. It’s very sad, but you tried, and now you need a different plan - one that will preserve your own health.
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Nobody ever says that yes they would love to live in a nursing facility, but there does come a time when that is the only option.
And you have reached that point where that is now the only option.
Do your homework, get a social worker involved and find the best place for your mom where she will receive the 24/7 care she requires and you can get back to just being her child and advocate.
Best wishes in finding the right facility for your mom.
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Daisycat here the others are right it is time for a nursing home I am going thru this right now my mom has had dementia for three years had a silent stroke Friday in the hospital til Wednesday from hospital to the nursing home there is no way I could care for her it takes a team yes I am sad but it's what's best for her hope this helps
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