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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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By demonstrating that it is in his best interests for him to live somewhere else.
IS it in his best interests? What's your better plan for him?
As you weren't able to prevent your husband's children having your husband admitted to a nursing home, or haven't been able anyway to have him discharged since, I assume you don't have any kind of power of attorney for your husband but his children do. Is that correct?
First, your ages. Makes a difference in our answers.
To be in a NH your husband must need 24/7 care. What is his illness?
Do his children have his financial and medical POAs. Do they have guardianship? If they have POA, ur husband gave them the responsibility to carry out his wishes. Guardianship can't be over ridden.
Are u having money problems because the kids have taken over?
No I donr have poa and neither do they. he is a retired airforce 84 diabetic he was taking care of himself and me befor they addmited him. He has some memory problems starteing to show but heck he is 84 years old. They went behind my back. See we was relying on them for transpertaion. And we are newly weds for six and a half mounths now.
The more stuff you guys rely on them for, the more they may think the nursing home is the best answer. If he is getting any type of aid for the home, I doubt they would admit him unless doctors recommended it.
I can understand his kids thinking that taking care of you will drive him to an early grave.
I know that the V.A. Will pay for everything he neefs to be comfortable in his own home. Such as hospice, or hometown health care or even a nurse that comes directly to his home.
They may pay for what he needs now, but as someone with an aged VA parent, they will not pay for constant care. You either pay part yourself, or put LO in a home.
I think I would be finding out if you can get a shared room with him.
If you are quite a bit younger than him you will have a fight on your hands. His children are doing what they believe is in his best interest. How would him being home taking care of himself and you benefit his wellbeing, that is what is important.
Great many red flags here. First the OP's name refers to Cannabis (420). Second, they have been married lass than a year. His kids are not going to be concerned about Scott, only their dad. Third, Scott is expecting the husband who is currently in a nursing home to provide care, not the other way around. Lastly Op expects the kids to provide rides. It seems like OP married to be looked after.
So it could be someone that doesn't have a life and is getting stoned out of their gourd and making up stories to garner sympathy. I keep saying legalizing that stuff is the dumbing down of our world.
Someone had POA or got even temporary guardianship. Can't put someone in a NH against their will unless that person is found incompetent. And why would anyone get married at 84 to end up taking care of someone. I am 70 and wouldn't remarry if I had to care for the other person. More to the story.
We have no idea if the DH is not happy there. If he is competent and wants to go home, why hasn't he just called a cab, spoken to social worker at the NH, whatever. I get it that neither one of them drives, but don't they have any money to call an uber? It seems like OP is not happy with him there (maybe because some of his financial resources go to NH), but we don't know what he wants.
The fact that it's only natural for this 84 year old diabetic veteran to have started to show "some memory issues" does not make those issues any less significant, nor make it any more reasonable to expect him to continue as he was doing.
If he were my Dad, would I think it in his best interests to return to his spouse of less than a year so that he can continue to provide care services, either directly or through his VA entitlements, while I win a part-time transportation job? Would I heck.
But in this as in everything: we need to know the gentleman's own wishes first and foremost. What does he want to happen? Scottc420, are you able to visit him or are the children trying to cut you out altogether?
Isthisreallyreal's idea of investigating whether you can continue to live together in this (or perhaps a similar facility) seems best to me, I must say. If it isn't a rude question, how old are you?
Agree with all of this, and additionally, 84YO will only get worse. All of caregivers know that. Many adult children have LO on a wait list for a NH spot, and if the right spot opens want to take it, and not hope the spot will be available when (and I do say when, not if) the LO deteriorates. And the adult children may not be too happy that they now have to drive not dad, but new stepmom to places.
Need to know MUCH more before I can answer this. Are his children also YOUR children, or is this a second marriage. Are you mentally and physically well able to care for your husband at home? What are the problems with home care by you for your husband that the children mention? Who has the POA to make this decision. Normally it would be the spouse if the spouse is well and able in a long term marriage.
They have been married 6 months, and need his kids to drive them anywhere. Not certain if her kids help (she has not indicated as such). She says no POA.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
IS it in his best interests? What's your better plan for him?
As you weren't able to prevent your husband's children having your husband admitted to a nursing home, or haven't been able anyway to have him discharged since, I assume you don't have any kind of power of attorney for your husband but his children do. Is that correct?
Why was he admitted? - what are his care needs?
1. What level of care does your husband require?
2. Who was caring for him before he entered the NH?
3. What is your plan for getting his care needs met?
4. What was the reason that his children placed him in his current facility?
First, your ages. Makes a difference in our answers.
To be in a NH your husband must need 24/7 care. What is his illness?
Do his children have his financial and medical POAs. Do they have guardianship? If they have POA, ur husband gave them the responsibility to carry out his wishes. Guardianship can't be over ridden.
Are u having money problems because the kids have taken over?
I can understand his kids thinking that taking care of you will drive him to an early grave.
Do you rely on him and need care?
I think I would be finding out if you can get a shared room with him.
If you are quite a bit younger than him you will have a fight on your hands. His children are doing what they believe is in his best interest. How would him being home taking care of himself and you benefit his wellbeing, that is what is important.
If he were my Dad, would I think it in his best interests to return to his spouse of less than a year so that he can continue to provide care services, either directly or through his VA entitlements, while I win a part-time transportation job? Would I heck.
But in this as in everything: we need to know the gentleman's own wishes first and foremost. What does he want to happen? Scottc420, are you able to visit him or are the children trying to cut you out altogether?
Isthisreallyreal's idea of investigating whether you can continue to live together in this (or perhaps a similar facility) seems best to me, I must say. If it isn't a rude question, how old are you?