My Mother will be 103…still lives in her own apartment in NYC with help…she is on Medicaid. It is a walk up…3rd floor..no elevator..and while she can walk with a walker, cannot do stairs. I am trying to find a way to take her outside in this nice weather just for a couple of hours maybe every week or two. The MLTC will arrange transportation to doctors appointments ( requires a two-man lift) but I just want to get her outside for a tour of the old neighborhood and some fresh air. (Her doctor makes house calls.) It would be an enormous help to her mentally. It breaks my heart seeing her sit in her small apartment hour after hour. I wonder if there are any organizations that would be of help that I could call? We looked into hiring an ambulette service to do it privately, but they wanted $700 to take her up and down. I am willing to pay, but that’s crazy. She has a transport wheelchair she could be put in and carried downstairs. I have thought about moving her to a nursing home, but she does not want to go and she has great one-on-one assistance from her home health aides. Any ideas appreciated.
I have one in AL and one in MC, both lovely homes, with people their own age, activities and safety.
Sitting by herself in a flat three flights in the air is not IMO a good idea, especially at her age.
Why not tour some homes in your area, bring yourself up-to-date on what they look like today. The one my step-mother is in has a beautiful courtyard that she can sit in, talk to others, draw do whatever she likes.
I always think what a lovely day, I've just got to get outside..
But many people dislike the noise & wind outside, prefer to be safe & snug inside.
I've mentioned on another thread a lady who liked to watch 'her tree' outside the window. Had no desire to BE outside (or move from her bed) but enjoyed seeing a little piece of nature. I thought if I ever cannot get outside, I'll get a few pot plants instead.
Bring the outside in.
My best friend's mom is nearly 102 and lives in a lovely subsidized elevator building close to the Atlantic shore. She has a large balcony.
My friend is always pestering the live-in aide to take her outside in her wheelchair, or out on the balcony, but the elderly lady has no interest in going out of doors and protests vigorously when it is suggested or attempted.
Be guided by mom's wishes in this.
I would strongly second Barb's crucial point that you ask your mother first.
As long as she is not merely willing but actively eager, and as long as she and your family are not given to hasty litigation, what you want is a couple of forward players from your local Rugby Union team. There will be one (oh my goodness, there is one! founded in 1929, but I can't see their address online and of course I don't know whereabouts in the city your grandmother lives either).
Or perhaps her neighbourhood fire service would be willing to help, on the odd special occasion? It can't hurt to ask.
Has there been any thought about trying to get a first floor apartment, even in the same building?
At 103 (God bless her) a move of any sort would be difficult.
(Maybe do not call it a "nursing home" but Assisted Living. Get her out and take a tour of one.)
I think the only way to do this safely would be to get her out when the home Health Aide is there and can help get her up and down the stairs. (unless they are not able to do that)
In your profile you mention your mom has dementia.
At that diagnosis SHE no longer gets to make many decisions for herself about her care and her safety.
With a diagnosis of dementia she can not be left alone. You say that you have Aides there and neighbors that help out. That also means that some of the time she is alone. She needs supervision 24/7/365.
A move to Memory Care is the best option. I mentioned previously in my reply that Assisted Living would be an option but with the dementia I think MC is a better option. I am sure "nursing homes" AL and MC have changed a GREAT deal since your mom worked in one so what she is worried about may no longer exist.
To pay to have her carried out once a month is $700. She's on a Medicaid Elder Waiver so the cost of her in-home aides is covered, but the cost of taking her outside comes out of your pocket.
To continue to receive Medicaid in a facility would mean she'd require LTC (in most states so you would need to check hers). And, as she is already on Medicaid, there may be waiting lists to get into a facility, where she'd be required to share a room.
Are there any strong, young men in the building who'd carry her down for $100 each person, each trip? So, $400 a time? That's the only other "solution" I can see.
and great job being so loving towards your parents, avanicole :) :) :).
Last week, and I kid you not, they asked 4 burly men to CARRY mom to the beach in her wheelchair where they plunked her down under an umbrella in the sand with a popsicle in her mouth for their FB photo op. I cringed when I saw that, once again.
Next thing I knew, the daughter was posting pictures of mommy (which is what she calls her) in the ER, propped up on a gurney, suffering from a heart issue, a colon inflammation and acute LIVER FAILURE after she'd started vomiting on the beach.
This happened after 2 other hospitalizations for mommy during previous camping trips when mommy fell and broke her hip, and another where she had blood clots in her lungs!!!
This is a true story bc you cannot make this nonsense up.
My friend drags her mother on these escapades because SHE has an agenda and a love of Facebook likes and being seen as The Good Daughter. She's not taking mom's best interests to heart while putting her life in danger during these camping trips from hell. But she also can't go camping if mommy can't come because she can't be left alone at home. So there's that, too.
I'm not putting you in the category my friend is in. Just asking if taking a 103 year old woman up and down 3 flights of stairs in a NYC walk up for a bit of fresh air is in HER best interest? You dont want her to wind up in the ER like my friends mother after some farkakte plan went awry, God forbid. 😊
Just some food for thought with this true story tonight.
Your friend doesn't make the connection between camping trips and health dangers to her mother?!?!