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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Had another blow out with mom today regarding a shower. She will not bathe or wash her hair or let me help in any way. It's just one argument after another. I told her I was going to have someone come to the house and help me and then she really blew up. I tried to talk to her nicely about it on several occasions, and all she says is: I just took one. It's gotten to the point where I'm going to give up on that part. I feel like I am the one who is going to die of a stroke.
Have you tried adult bathing wipes? They are LARGE wipes that are used to bathe adults without them getting in a shower or tub. They are often used for bed bound patients. You would have to do it but it eliminates the need for the person to get into a tub or shower.
Sue could you get her to put a circe on the calendar when she SAYS she has had one. So if for example she says today she has had one say lets put a ring on the calendar Mum so we can remember; then you can have one on whatever day it will be. Trying to work against them is like bashing your head against a brick wall so try and work with her and agree how often she WILL have one. Once a week would be ok as long as she washes in between times.
I keep a bowl of warm water in the room next to Mums commode and when she goes for a poop or a wee I wash her undercarriage by telling her she might need a little wash because I can see its a bit red and I don't want her to get sore. (OK so I might lie from time to time) then just for show I would cream her if I were you. I HAVE to cream Mum but anything that will get her to get in that hygiene mode.
Also you could sponge bath her in the shower or give her a big sponge. it may actually be she doesn't want YOU to shower her so you might want to consider a bath aide and be done with it. It isn't up for discussion THAT she has to be washed... but try the gentle way first and if she flat says no then walk away and try again later. If you use the calendar trick you then have a reason to ask her WHY she doesn't want a bath. You might also want to find out what SHE thinks is a reasonable number of baths a week. In the early days my parents certainly only showered once a week although they 'washed down' every day and by that I mean a flannel and a bar of soap and not a great deal more than a cat lick and a promise of things to come
It's so difficult. I know that with my cousin, it was a real chore. I would tell her that we had to bathe before going to the doctor. She would plead and cry. I wouldn't argue with her, just insist. I would talk about the things we could do after we left the doctor office to distract her. She didn't like it, but she would comply.
Now that my cousin is in Memory Care, she doesn't give them much of a probable with it. They shower her 3 times per week with no fuss. I will add that now she is on Cymbalta, and that helps with her anxiety. That could have something to do with it.
Thank you everyone. Big wipes and circle date on calendar are good ideas. Mom does tell me tho that she took a shower when i went to the store.......still doesnt hurt to try.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I keep a bowl of warm water in the room next to Mums commode and when she goes for a poop or a wee I wash her undercarriage by telling her she might need a little wash because I can see its a bit red and I don't want her to get sore. (OK so I might lie from time to time) then just for show I would cream her if I were you. I HAVE to cream Mum but anything that will get her to get in that hygiene mode.
Also you could sponge bath her in the shower or give her a big sponge. it may actually be she doesn't want YOU to shower her so you might want to consider a bath aide and be done with it. It isn't up for discussion THAT she has to be washed... but try the gentle way first and if she flat says no then walk away and try again later. If you use the calendar trick you then have a reason to ask her WHY she doesn't want a bath. You might also want to find out what SHE thinks is a reasonable number of baths a week. In the early days my parents certainly only showered once a week although they 'washed down' every day and by that I mean a flannel and a bar of soap and not a great deal more than a cat lick and a promise of things to come
One of the tips includes actually getting them visibly dirty so that they ask for a wash....something I had never considered
Now that my cousin is in Memory Care, she doesn't give them much of a probable with it. They shower her 3 times per week with no fuss. I will add that now she is on Cymbalta, and that helps with her anxiety. That could have something to do with it.