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I was told by my neurologist that I have dementia. I don”t feel any different than I did before, yet my wife believes what they said and has taken away my keys and sold my car. She has also taken away all my credit cards and has bought me a necklace that has an alert button I can push if i need help. I don’t think I need these. How do I fight back and get control of my life again?

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Go get a second opinion and take a different person with you. Make that person your Medical Representative (ask for the HIPAA form at the doctor's office).

You can go to an elder law attorney and make a new PoA so that it isn't your wife. If your wife isn't currently your PoA then she has no legal power to make you do anything or control you, even if you do have dementia. Even with 1 medical diagnosis of dementia, it may be mild enough that the attorney determines that you still have capacity.

But... it is common for those with dementia to be in denial. This is why getting a second opinion and taking another person will be important. If the next diagnosis is also cognitive impairment/memory loss/dementia... what will you do?

I wish you clarity, wisdom and peace in your heart on this journey.
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I think if you would have asked my late husband if he felt any different after being diagnosed with vascular dementia, he would have flat out told you no, that he was fine.
But guess what? He in fact had vascular dementia and wasn't fine.
Sadly folks often live in denial for quite a while after being diagnosed as they just don't want to admit that they're having issues.
You can go and get a second opinion and you can even sign up to take the 4 hour memory test to see how you do if you think that will make you feel better.
But if both those things come back that you indeed have some dementia, the best thing you can do is get your ducks in a row before your mind gets any worse, as in time it will.
There is no cure for any of the dementias, and the life expectancy depending on what kind of dementia you have is 5-20 years.
The fact that your wife took your car keys and sold your car, tells me that she has definitely noticed some dementia type behaviors from you especially behind the wheel or I don't believe she would have taken such drastic measures.
You must know that if God forbid you were to be in an accident and hurt or kill someone, that because you've been diagnosed with dementia and your wife knowingly let you continue to drive that you both could be sued and could lose everything. It's nothing to mess around with.
I too had to take my husbands keys and sell his car, and it was because I loved him and didn't want him hurting himself or someone else.
I'm sure having a diagnosis of dementia must be a hard pill to swallow, and I know that you wish it not to be true, but there comes a time when we all must face reality and make the very best of what life brings our way.
I wish you and your wife well as you travel this road together.
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Well, it is really hard to recognize and understand that you have dementia. If your short term memory is poor, you really won't be able to remember what you felt like before to honestly compare it to now. Some of the changes are very subtle, but also can be kind of obvious to a loved one.

Do you have any reason to suspect that your wife isn't behaving out of love for you? Do you have a good marriage? If things have been good with her, I think maybe you should trust her and try to accept things.

Nothing wrong with getting a second opinion but unless your wife is especially cruel and the neurologist is lying, then I think I would put my energy into enjoying your time and making the best of things.
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I'm sorry buddy. I feel for you. I think she jumped the gun. If you have dementia, that's not a reason for her to go to extremes for example with taking your credit cards when you hadn't made any errs in spending. I think she's making this awful for you before it needs to be. Why is she rushing things? Can you speak with your doctor about this? I'm going to pray for you right now my friend. God bless you.
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anonymous1732518 Jul 2023
OP should ask to be tested for Dementia

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Have you asked your PCP to take the Dementia test?
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anonymous1732518 Jul 2023
Again, this time being more relaxed?
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Obviously there have been some issues which is the reason you went to a neurologist in the first place, right?

Get a second opinion regarding your dementia if you think the first neurologist is wrong.

It sounds like your wife is being proactive in taking away the credit cards and your driving abilities if your diagnosis stands with the second opinion.
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You Probably dont need a car if she drives or credit cards If she does Most of the shopping . Did you Fall and get Hurt ? That is the reason for the alert Button . If you dont Like it get a Apple Watch . That Has a SOS on It for help if you Fall . Sounds Like your wife is worried . Ask for a social worker or therapist to speak with at your Doctors office or speak with your Doctor privately . He can do a test for dementia .
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I missed the early signs of dementia in my mother. I am grateful to this forum for suggesting to me that it was possible that her behavior could possibly be attributed to dementia.

Be grateful to your wife for being concerned. She very well could be correct in her assessment. She lives with you. She knows your habits, your personality and she sees signs of changes in your behavior.
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