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You just have to be firm. You are 100% right and she is just being a typical needy Mom who wants to be with her family. You can't fault her for that but you can acknowledge her feelings, and continue to explain why its not feasible. Perhaps she can come to visit and you guys can just so happen to find time to explore some nice assisted places nearby where she can live. You never know - plant the seed - if she sees something nice it may bloom into a fruitful result.
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aunicorn: Do not listen nor react to the guilt trips displayed by your mother.
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Tell her that she has a care provider and that you are not ready to take that kind of responsibility. Just be honest with her. She does not have to like your decisions. Be strong and hold your ground.
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How do you respond - you don't. Spent decades dealing with my mother guilting me (when she hit 80 - EVERY Christmas was her last one; or EVERY emergency room visit was 'the' one...). Don't let her use the  "she took care of me as a child and young adult so now I should take care of her". Doing something out of guilt will only backfire on you - if you do move to take care of her, you will end up resenting her, hating her for what she had you do and trust me, that is NOT a way to live and take care of someone. Heck, my mother guilted me- and when she passed away 2 years ago - I was so happy she did. Her narcisstic guilting me destroyed so much of my life, who I was, who I became. And she didn't CARE that her demands and guilts made my life miserable - it was all about her. SHE didn't want to move to AL, SHE didn't want a caretaker - it was all about her - for 20 years - years I cannot get back or do over. She is gone but the effects of her selfish narcissm still linger and affect my life today. Don't give in and end up feeling like I did/do.
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lkdrymom Oct 2023
My grandmother had 15 last Christmas’
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