How do I stop mom with dementia from overeating? She forgets she ate then eats again. She gained 30 pounds and none of her clothes fit.

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How do I stop mom with dementia from overeating? She forgets she ate then eats again. She gained 30 pounds and none of her clothes fit.

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I have tried writing down in a book when and what she ate, she said it's lies. I have made her write it in her own handwriting and she says that's not her handwriting. She also has a dog (Ginge) that she is constantly feeding and when the dog doesn't want to eat anymore she shoves the food in its mouth telling me she does it so the dog can get a taste of it. It is heartbreaking to see this and the dog (15 year old Shih tzu) is a saint. Yesterday I kept count, after the dog actually ate a bowl of food, the next four hours I was with her she asked me if the dog ate 32 times. You literally have to look at this in a humorous way. For Christmas my kids bought me a hat that says "Ginge Ate"!!!! I wear it after the dog eats but it doesn't work but I am not as miserable. Any suggestion for this situation?

Alzheimer's & Dementia Diet & Nutrition Family Caregiver

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I found some maybe helpful advice on an internet search: hide the dog food and and don't feed the dog "regularly". Instead, in the morning give your mom a baggie with 1/3 the day's portion of dog kibble for her to hand feed it (mixed with some carrots, broccoli, and other vet-approved raw veggies for better nutrition and variety). At noon give her the 2nd bag and at dinner the 3rd. It's more work but worth a try.

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This is a great idea 💡

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Not for nothing, but you say your mother has 24/7 care in her own home. What kind of "care" is she getting that she's able to continuously eat and continuously feed a dog that's probably going to explode from obesity? The caregivers need a Come To Jesus Meeting about the new house rules and the new locks on the kitchen cabinets and fridge that will be installed. The dog food will come out of her room right away, even if she becomes agitated as a result. The caregivers will sit with her while she eats and make sure Ginge is outside during mealtimes. Mom should be fed 3 meals and 3 snacks a day by the caregivers, and nothing else. They can deal with the endless questions and devise distractions for mom that don't include food.....thats what they're being paid for!

As mother continues the decline, you may need to look into Memory Care Assisted Living which is managed care in all facets.

Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation

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👏👏 Lealonnie. I was thinking along the same lines..

Maybe because the aides are in Mom's place whereas in a facility the staff follow the care plan. Also in a facility meals & snacks are at set times.

I have seen this very thing as my sister lives alone with various aides visiting. She eats poorly most of the time, although the aides do suggest healthier alternatives (& to cut down on soda & chocolate). But in respite care she ate 3 meals (inc veggies & fruit!) + 3 small snacks. No soda or chocolate. Reported she loved the food & was never hungry.

It's part of the reason my sister needs a supervised environment.

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I think you will need suggestions for more than just this situation. Many more challenges and changes will be coming down the pike as this is the nature of dementia and decline. Right now you will need to manage her meals and hide the dog food. You can give her one small dog treat to give the dog (like 1 every few hours). My mom also has a small dog and she gets a lot of pleasure from feeding it (often inappropriate food!) Writing notes just does not work for people with dementia.

On YouTube you can find Teepa Snow videos and learn lots of practical info by a very entertaining woman on the topic of dementia.

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thank you I will find those videos on YouTube

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I tried the food diary with my mom, she either wouldn't remember to look at it or denied she ate so much. When left alone, she would go thru a gallon of ice cream a week. It's hard to be a food cop, but that's what you have to be. Breakfast, then a diversion like TV or crocheting, then a mid morning snack. Repeat with lunch and dinner. Aides should work in a small exercise routine. Some activity should follow each meal, whether its calling another family member - cleaning out a drawer together, stretching, doing a puzzle or listening to music. The dog and Mom should not be together at meal time. If the dog is walked or allowed outside, do it while Mom is having her meals. Allow Mom a few dog treats in her pocket so she can "sneak" it to the dog, Hide all the rest.
I know it's frustrating but you can only do the best you can. Don't worry about the rest.

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Very small frequent meals sometimes help when constant eating is a problem so food is "grazed" throughout the day but in controlled portions. Fridges and cupboards need to be locked and only the "next" snack left out available: caregivers need instructions here. It would be a shame to prevent her feeding the dog if this gives her pleasure so divide the dry dog feed into different bags and give her a bag three times a day to hand feed it. No dog in the room when she is eating!

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I feed my mother 3 square meals a day with snacks in between. She will sometimes say to me she is hungry when in fact she just ate. She forgets she ate. Yesterday I fed her a hearty meal and halfway through I asked her if she was full and she said no so I continued to give her the rest. One hour after she ate she complained I fed her too much and she was leaving and will not be back. Right now as we speak mom is upset that our bellies are full and I did not feed her supper. It had only been an 1 1/2 after lunch and it is not time. I sometimes take a picture of her eating ice cream and show it to her if she says she did not get any and then she calms down. She gets ice cream with Splenda most days per her endocrinologist. I would have a set schedule for meal time with snacks with protein. Be firm but gentle.

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I am going through much the same with my hubby. He has many times got up from the dinner table and within 5 minutes he is asking when we are going to eat? It is forgetfulness. I have little bags of snacks for between meals or a frozen yogurt bar. And so far this has helped. I also make sure I have a glass of water or ice tea next to him all day. Don’t know if our tips can assist the poster because it sounds like the lady lives alone.

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My friend’s mother ate continuously and ended up choking and dying. My mother-in-law yelling out the window for help and attempted to climb out the window when her aide did not overfeed her. Police were called by a passerby and she ended up in a hospital and then a nursing home. I have no real answer for this except recommending that you speak to her doctor. It is not hunger that provokes this, not even boredom which has caused many to gain weight during the pandemic. I believe it is the forgetfulness that goes with dementia and I wonder if there is some anxiety medication would help. Best of luck.

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Your mom needs to be on a feeding schedule and so does her pup. You'll have to be firm with her since she is not responding to full and hungry clues from her body. Talk to her doctor about it as well to see if he can prescribe treatments or medications to help her relax more as she stays on her feeding schedule. You may have to put up signs with mom and dog's feeding schedule and a analog clock so she can look at the time (as long as she remembers how to interpret time). I know some people have had to lock cabinets, refrigerator and freezer to keep their loved one from overeating or overfeeding the pets.

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Great tips!
Agree with all you said about food / medication link. Definitely have the packaged portioned foods instead of large containers.
if you live where it’s available, meals on wheels are proportional too. It helped my mom tremendously!
If not, there are meal prep containers from Amazon that we purchased to help my MIL see we weren’t giving her “ too much “ food. That really helped.
as for dog, you may need to hide the food, and feed dog yourself. Ask vet for tips. We started giving my moms dog small pieces of cut apples fit snack instead of dog cookies.
Dementia can be very frustrating. Your humor is really the best way to cope, IMO.

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Does Mother live with you or in her own place?

If she is no longer responsible to feed the dog alone, this must be done with supervision or by someone else. Lock the dog food away.

Sounds like all meals now need to be supervised.

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She lives in her own house with 24/7 care. We tried hiding the dog food she gets up in the middle of the night and has now hoarded cans of dog food in her room. She gets agitated when they try to go in her room. She can't remember where she puts things and says the aids steal it. She also says they eat all her food. I even said to her they why don't your clothes fit anymore and her answer is because she doesn't move as much as she used to. I know reasoning does not work.. distraction works for 5 mins then we are back to did the dog eat. Even if the dog food is locked up she will feed the dog some of her food. I can't imagine what we are going to do when Ginge passes.

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Does your mom take a small dose of antipsychotic meds (Seroquel, Zyprexa, etc.) to sleep? Those enhance the appetite by a boatload!

If not already done, stop buying binge-worthy food (ice cream, frozen pizza - stuff we all love) & load up on produce and lean protein that she likes.

The best of luck to turn this around for mom and her doggie!

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How do I stop mom with dementia from overeating? She forgets she ate then eats again. She gained 30 pounds and none of her clothes fit.

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