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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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People who know the family well should understand. Forget about stigmas or being embarrassed--"it is what it is". Reach out to the closest and oldest F&F, maybe write a group email, and explain Mom's age-related decline simply and lovingly. Those who CARE, will respond. You might be surprised at who comes through for you--and who doesn't. Blessings and Hugs, christina
Perhaps I didn't explain clearly, I have no problem telling people Mom has dementia, I just don't know if I call them or write a letter, enclose something in a Christmas card. More than a few people have figured something is wrong since they didn't hear from Mom on birthdays, or she was confused about dates when they last heard from her. These people have contacted Dad to see if all is well. I just wasn't sure which is the least shocking route to take.
Having been through the loss of a sibling to cancer, I realize that everyone deals with these things in different ways. There are those who just can't handle it and pull away; there are others who step up. Each has their own level of comfort.
Sounds a lot like what my experience was. I was living out of state when my sister and I talked about that. She informed me that mom had been formally diagnosed. I feel a real voice is always best. It adds a more personal touch. In this case, I feel that a letter would be too impersonal, plus it allows other family members to ask their questions and voice their feelings. Keep it personal (for now anyway).
I feel a phone call to those who you feel that are concerned your mother has pulled away from and have contacted your father. Remember the age group they grew up in, that era people were very private, and your father may not want to tell anyone of your mothers issue, so you may want to ask him how he wants to handle. Of course that depends if he is still involved in the family and in your mothers care as well. Sometimes it sucks to always be the one telling the "news" of what is going on with the loved ones health, but you are the one they trust and lean on and they will hopefully come to support you and give you a break in need for some respite time. Pray about who you feel needs to know, and you will know who needs to know and you will know how they need to be told. Blessings, Bridget
We have always written a Christmas letter going to all our friends, relatives and classmates. It seemed like a natural place to let everyone know of our life changes. I did this over 4 years ago and it has saved explaining over and over again the reasons for changes in my wife’s conduct. Another plus was that my wife is a part of it and thus encouraged her involvement in conversations on this subject. This may or may not work for you but we have always found it simpler to meet problems head-on.
I would try to have a family conference and then tell the others about your Mom---I am sure they will understand-and hopefully they will pitch in and be of help as well....There is no shame in this. Best, Hap
Hon you can't. Unless ppl live it? they do not understand. So just say I can't right now. And let it go at that. I have learned that in my 53 years of life. A lot you can not tell people. They have to learn for themselves. So you are doing what you can and let it go. there is not one thing you can do about it...Try and have a happy holiday season. What we do is not easy. wait until her starts whinning...And worry that she will get up and open all the gifts..But when you need her to get up she won't.....just wait...Life is good. By now? I thought, grown daughter, I can go when I get ready....Lord said...Nope. Not so my child....So here I am....Good luck and keep smilining. That is all you can do....Hugs to you ...Sharon
Tell them, I have put that on my christmas list. Waiting to see if santa sends it....Gotta have humor to this. It is a hard thing to deal with . My mom has gone back to telling everyone to get out of MY HOUSE. To tell her she can not do that...I get " Watch me.." then the whinning...ohhh Lord deliver me...But I have it on my list for santa.....Hope I have been good enough. If not...Well it sucks.....Love for the holiday season.....Sharon
We can all give you advise but when it comes down to it? It is all up to you my dear one. Sorry, advise is free, life is not. I am sorry you are going thru this...Just make it a joke in a seriuos way and let it go...That is all you can do..LET IT GO....Hugs to you and sorry you are going thru this.....Sharon
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Blessings and Hugs, christina
Having been through the loss of a sibling to cancer, I realize that everyone deals with these things in different ways. There are those who just can't handle it and pull away; there are others who step up. Each has their own level of comfort.
Thanks
Keep it personal (for now anyway).
Sometimes it sucks to always be the one telling the "news" of what is going on with the loved ones health, but you are the one they trust and lean on and they will hopefully come to support you and give you a break in need for some respite time. Pray about who you feel needs to know, and you will know who needs to know and you will know how they need to be told.
Blessings,
Bridget
Best,
Hap
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