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I take care of my 89 yr old father who has Parkinson’s, dementia and intractable hiccups 220 days of the year during which he spits up his food.
I have four siblings of whom only one helps but is more of a hinderance. The women in my family have zero respect for men including our father. My parents have a large house with property. I take care of all maintenance and have even remodeled the house, not paid a penny for it, saved them $20,000 on one project alone. For the most part it’s been great because my dad and I have developed a really strong bond and I am the only one he trusts completely and only one he confides in. The problem comes from my mom and sister. They never listen to dad or me. For everything I do (when other siblings come to help I still can’t leave) they give me no voice in the house and constantly disrespect me. All three of us had same point of view regarding pandemic safety. When my sister went to a wedding I told her she was not coming back over until she showed pictures of everyone complying with safety guidelines. She absolutely ignored me and my mom backs her. This is a constant problem. Advice? If it wasn’t for their disrespect I could handle everything my dad threw at us. Now without even talking to me they put him in a home. But mom talked to all the other siblings that don’t help about it and asked their opinion. Advice?

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Know that you’re not changing your mom or your siblings. Their choices are their own just as yours are. You say dad is combative and only you can handle it, perhaps your mom can’t handle it and didn’t feel safe in her home. Sadly, your dad has multiple progressive conditions, there’s no getting better. I’m glad you have a positive relationship with him, that’s invaluable and important. Consider your own care and future, though you’re strong now, are you letting your emotional and physical health, earning power, and life go? A parent shouldn’t want their child to do that. Becoming overly enmeshed and not living your own life isn’t good for anyone
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I don't understand what you want advice about? You say they have "put him in a home." So... where does that leave you, and him? What do you want to do?
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Without family counseling the dynamics of family communication usually consider no matter what one person may want or need. This is now generational, as you say, with little change in the dynamic. Please do try to get your Dad the vaccine so you don't have to worry so much about what others choose to do with their lives. As we have seen throughout the country, no one can change peoples' attitudes about what to do about covid-19, either. I sure am glad your Dad has you. Just continue on the best you can, don't take the bait the troublemakers throw out, and I wish you the best.
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