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Alto pay doesn't work because he takes the money out, sends the money to a "girlfriend" and has no money for rent, food etc.

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Without your parents permission, you can’t. You have to sit back and watch them make bad decisions & self destruct unless you want to pursue guardianship however you will be unsuccessful unless your parent is proven to be incompetent. And spending his money on a girlfriend and everything but the bills & rent isn’t enough to make him legally incompetent.
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Can you provide more detail as to how this relationship is being carried out: in person, online, or other way? How old is your dad and has he ever been medically diagnosed by his doctor with dementia or cognitive issues? Do you live with your father?

Sounds like he is being "cat-phished"...a very common occurrence among seniors as they get to some point mentally where they become very gullible and happy to cling to unrealistic expectations (like the Publisher's Clearinghouse nonsense).

Without his permission or authority as his PoA, legally you have no power. But, this "girlfriend" will drain him of all his money and then he and his family will be left holding the bag, so your concern is very legitimate, and time is of the essence to mitigate damage, if possible. Your answers to the above questions will help clarify your options.
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Without permission or a POA and even with that if they can still get to the account the POA might not help.
You may need to obtain Guardianship. At that point you can have total control over the accounts including sending or not sending $$ to the girlfriend.
Obtaining Guardianship is not a fun process and it is time consuming and there is paperwork involved. You will have to keep detailed records of what is spent and for what purpose.
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Geaton777 Oct 2019
And won't she need to legally prove her dad is mentally incapacitated as well?
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My Dad is 80 years old... Living in a senior apartment now . I definitely think this is "cat-phishing" because the "girlfriend" is 25 and lives in a different state. He sends the money through Wal- Mart for things like "I need money to go to Floride for my son's funeral "!
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You asked this question back in September

https://www.agingcare.com/questions/what-can-be-done-with-dad-who-lives-independently-right-now-but-sends-money-to-a-younger-woman-451941.htm

You had 32 answers. What do u need that wasn't answered before?
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