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My mom uses excessive amounts of toilet paper which is a problem, but especially difficult during this pandemic since it's so hard to find toilet paper. We have septic tanks and have already had to have major plumbing done so now we use only one ply. Any suggestions what to do? I've discussed this with her many, many times but I think she is in early dementia and she is not retaining what I say AND she refuses to use depends or anything like that.

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It's difficult, because, she likely either cannot process why what you say is important or she can't remember it. Either way, there's really no way to convince her. I'd either remove it from her access and provide her a certain amount on an as need basis, or accompany her into the bathroom each time to ensure she uses it properly. I know it seems awkward, but, eventually, she'll need help anyway.
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I am with Sunny. Time to be present in bathroom. My Mom counted the sheets folding as she went. When she got to 8, she stopped.
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And I might add, if she is incontinent, then you don’t give her a choice on wearing disposable underwear. You buy it. Put it in her dresser drawer where her panties normally are and you remove all of the panties so there is no choice. I had to do this with my dad and it worked. He was finally glad he didn’t have to have accidents or rush to the bathroom and then not make it.
You could also pre-tear off the toilet paper sheets and place only a few "sets" by the toilet. Seems like a lot of work but if you’re worried about an expensive plumbing bill it might be worth it
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This will sound like a stupid question, but what is she using it for?

Thinking it through:

Is she pulling off too much by accident?
Is she finding the roll hard to manipulate?
Does she not feel comfortable without a sizeable pad in her grip?
Is she anxious that she isn't 1000000% clean?


If you can figure out some idea of what she's thinking when she ignores your explanations and carries on regardless, you might be able to get to the root of the matter and stop it that way.
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Aha!

If you go to an office supplies website and look up toilet paper dispensers, you will find the type that holds packs of single separate sheets. The initial outlay would be greater, but it would make it much more time-consuming (at least) for your mother to use a large amount - much slower than pulling it off a roll.
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Instead of toilet paper, use washcloths--use the sink to get them wet. She will have to be supervised. Washcloths are entirely reusable. Hide the toilet paper and tell her they ran out and don't sell anymore, or give her a ration

I have not seen a single package of toilet paper sold for weeks.
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Multi-level issue depending - I agree that the only way to get her to use depends will be to supervise/ remove all other options. It took me over a month to succeed with one loved one but was worth the struggle.

Blocked toilets I’m also a pro at dealing with by now! As suggested - control what is available and make it a slightly thicker ply.

Hang in there - might take some creative thinking but you’ll get there.
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My only suggestion is to take all of her panties out of her drawer and replace them with depends. When we done this for my mom, there was a week of complaining from mom, but we finally convinced her they are paper panties not diapers like she said they were. All is well now. It's either depends or she goes without, which I highly doubt she'd agree with. Lol
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Hanging only a certain amount over the paper real. If she asks for more with out a need, tell her you'll have to pick some more up. I know you'll have to be diligent in keeping some in there for her but at least she won't be using so much. My mother had Alzheimer's, we went through the same thing, but not at a pandemic time, But she would plug the toilet quite often.
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Oh my goodness, there is no way to control that unless you are standing there handing her allotment at every trip to the toilet.   I am just grateful my mom is still wiping!  LOL
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There are ways to retro-fit a toilet with a bidet that uses water to clean. That way, she only needs some paper to dry herself off.
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Marylepete Apr 2020
A wash cloth to dry off after using a bidet works great, no paper at all used. On Amazon, I bought a bidet that connects to the sink faucet, so you can control the water temperature. I installed it in minutes without tools. My hubby, with Alzheimer's has been using a large amount of toilet paper that I am trying to regulate. He would not understand how to use this type of bidet, but it is great for me.
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Anything you say won't sink in. If she goes to the bathroom, be nearby and hand her a "few pieces" and tell her there is no more, all gone. And then make sure she washes her hands very well. Do NOT allow her access to the toilet paper - let her rant and yell - so what. We are in bad times and you do NOT give in to people who have no brains that function - ever. You must lay the law down and you must somehow enforce it. If she does not cooperate, scare her by telling her you will place her somewhere - often that will work. You might be able to find a package of wipes - and hand her one or two at the most. She'll get the idea. And as to depends, just remove her other pants and stand there and tell her she can't leave until she has them on - be tough - if you are not tough, she will eventually cost you your sanity.
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Tell your Mom that all stores and online shopping have run out of all their toilet paper and cannot be found for awhile. Is she suffering any mental decline or dementia? If your toilet paper supply cannot be rationed, try using depends instead. Yes, they are more expensive but may help out until our COVID-19 crisis is over. Try buying in bulk online to save $$$$!
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Take the roll away, only put a few premeasured lengths by the commode. She will probably use the whole stack at one go, but at least you can conserve somewhat.
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Take the toilet paper away and get a bidet toilet seat instead:

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=bidet+toilet+seat&crid=362MUE1P8UYK7&sprefix=bidet%2Caps%2C226&ref=nb_sb_ss_i_3_5

Provide a stack of washcloths & hand towels instead of toilet paper, and the entire issue is resolved in an eco-friendly way. And no plumber bills OR toilet paper bills or shortages to worry about ever again.

Best of luck!
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-Only provide small rolls in the bathroom for her.
-Get Cottonelle/alternative brand toileting wipes.
-Get a Diaper Genie to toss the Cottonelle wipes (yes, they are flushable, but if she's overusing - you see the issue).
-Bidet.
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This i shard on the Elderly. My Dad uses mostly Wet ones, Also with Loo Paper, Which is getting Harder than Hell to Get. Maybe try and Ration Out and Try to Explain of the Pain..In getting MORE.:((xx
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