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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
My dear family physician suggested that word to me when I thought I would collapse under the weight of going to my mother’s SNF every single day (twice on Saturdays and Sundays) and working a full time demanding job 5 days a week.
I started “looking at my mother’s life in the nursing home with new eyes”, and I gradually began to absorb the kindness, dedication, humanity, and even humor there. That was the “new frame” that I brought to how her life and mine continued after major surgery left her, at 89, totally dependent on the care of others.
I started to see each nurse, each aide, each food service worker, as a person who was performing hard work for my mom’s safety and comfort.
I saw decorations for each holiday and season, and the cheer they brought to the residents.
Didn’t happen overnight. It was a practice, and a persistence with seeing a glimmer of light and peace emerging occasionally from the previously ceaseless gloom of losing her.
Ultimately it was a feeling of the minuscule joys of adding some little joy to the people living there.
You need to push your sense of simple creativity and imagination a little farther than it might want to go Kaye55, so maybe it would help you at first to consider giving yourself the permission to just consider making one very small change in your thinking.
If you do that, and it feels OK, maybe you can add to that first little change, and then after a while, think about making another.
Hope you find peace in however you learn to reframe your life as a caregiver.
Go stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself " I hate this disease and everything it causes. It is not my LOs fault he/she is doing this. His/ her brain is broken." Do this several times a day, or whenever you start to feel overwhelmed.
Can you give an example of something you'd like to re-frame?
Some folks do something called "awfulizing". A friend called me once in hysterixs bevause she'd been switched to our union's long term medication plan (meaning that she would save considerably on the medication(s) she was taking long term.
To her, being on a long term med meant she was "living on pills" and old expression meaning that she had no life.
I like the previous answers. My addition is to stop and take a deep breath and slowly let it out - do it 2 or 3 times and if you have to step away. I know its hard but before you blurt something out you may regret, stop and take that breath.
I don't know if your dealing with dementia or just people rubbing each other the wrong way.
In dementia, you have to learn to let go - don't argue - don't correct, you won't get anywhere, the person's brain is being destroyed and their reality is as if they are in an alternate universe. Sometimes you have to visit their reality - find their point in time. Unless it is a safety issue let things slide.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I started “looking at my mother’s life in the nursing home with new eyes”, and I gradually began to absorb the kindness, dedication, humanity, and even humor there. That was the “new frame” that I brought to how her life and mine continued after major surgery left her, at 89, totally dependent on the care of others.
I started to see each nurse, each aide, each food service worker, as a person who was performing hard work for my mom’s safety and comfort.
I saw decorations for each holiday and season, and the cheer they brought to the residents.
Didn’t happen overnight. It was a practice, and a persistence with seeing a glimmer of light and peace emerging occasionally from the previously ceaseless gloom of losing her.
Ultimately it was a feeling of the minuscule joys of adding some little joy to the people living there.
You need to push your sense of simple creativity and imagination a little farther than it might want to go Kaye55, so maybe it would help you at first to consider giving yourself the permission to just consider making one very small change in your thinking.
If you do that, and it feels OK, maybe you can add to that first little change, and then after a while, think about making another.
Hope you find peace in however you learn to reframe your life as a caregiver.
Go stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself
" I hate this disease and everything it causes. It is not my LOs fault he/she is doing this. His/ her brain is broken."
Do this several times a day, or whenever you start to feel overwhelmed.
Some folks do something called "awfulizing". A friend called me once in hysterixs bevause she'd been switched to our union's long term medication plan (meaning that she would save considerably on the medication(s) she was taking long term.
To her, being on a long term med meant she was "living on pills" and old expression meaning that she had no life.
Re-framing worked rather well for that.
I don't know if your dealing with dementia or just people rubbing each other the wrong way.
In dementia, you have to learn to let go - don't argue - don't correct, you won't get anywhere, the person's brain is being destroyed and their reality is as if they are in an alternate universe. Sometimes you have to visit their reality - find their point in time. Unless it is a safety issue let things slide.
Good luck.