Sibling has been diagnosed MCI, but he has gotten worse, but he is still cognitive of events surrounding him. He is only 62 so this is early onset (about 4-5 years now). I have to leave the state for my job. (I have delayed it twice now, can't do it again). He refuses to hire outside help to do anything and says he is ok and can still do everything, but he can't. I do not have POA and since I will not be here to see how he is doing, I think it is a liability to me and my family to have it and there is no one else available to do it. I have thought perhaps I should just contact adult services and tell them he is at risk? He is narcissistic and super negative, always has been. Has anyone else done that? Can you tell me what were your experiences were? Did they actually do anything? Are there other options? How do you walk away?
I would just want you to know that once you let the state and APS know that you cannot/will not step in as POA for health or financial, that they will appoint a fiduciary and you will thereafter have no say; the state will be his guardian. And in fact that is what I would suggest. I am sorry, but you are going to be far away and he is not cooperative. Not everything has a fix, and this certainly doesn't If he were cooperative you could HIRE a fiduciary yourself and together make decisions as his POA. But without his cooperation, it's a non starter in my opinion. I feel for you and wish you and him the best.
If u don't want the responsibility of being his POA thats OK. I would call APS and put him on their radar. The State may eventually take over his care and appoint a guardian.