My father told my mother from the day they got married, besides being a very hard worker at his job, that he would help her keep house if she would cook for him. She was a wonderful cook, baker & seamstress. And I think he did enjoy dusting and sweeping. He gave her everything she ever wanted. He never asked for anything but worked extra hours for extra cash so she could have what she wanted. 67 yrs together she knows no other way of life. She had a rude awakening almost 6 yrs ago when my father passed away. I moved in with her as dementia had already started and she couldn’t be left alone.
Long story short, she started making Sun Bonnet Sue quilts for her children. 15 yrs ago!! That should have been a clue that she was having problems sewing. The problem is she wants to finish these quilts before she passes. She can’t see to thread the sewing machine. She has a great machine that has a threader, but she is now needing the threader replaced, for the 3rd time, at $125.00 each time! If you know anything about these quilts, there is a lot of sewing and embroidery work involved. Years ago she did beautiful work. Now, she can mend worn socks, dishcloths, towels, but has trouble with everything else. After I set the machine up. She can’t follow directions, can’t thread the needle or even put the thread thru the machine. Can’t embroidery anymore, starts, then rips it out, sews it again, then rips it out again, over and over. I have tried to explain that her eyesight has failed her, that it’s not her fault, but she can’t see well enough to do the tedious work. That’s when the excuses start, why she is having trouble. Never her fault. When she told me today that she is taking her machine in for work again so she can “get sewing on those quilts and get them done”, I about lost it. After the last replacement of the needle threader 9 mos ago, she broke it again 1st time using it. She needs to quit sewing. I have tried over and over to get her to give it up. My sister and I have told her we would sew the squares together and what squares she has finished we will put the quilt together. Nope. She wants to make a certain size and what she has done will not make that size. I know this sounds trivial to all, but this has been going on 10 hrs a day for going on 6 yrs, off and on. She doesn’t have the money to keep replacing it, and I have explained that to her. But like I said, she has no reasoning skills. If it’s not what she wants. She thinks she can still do whatever she wants. She paid a lot for her machine and she “ is not going to quit sewing until those quilts are done”. And like I said, she wants them a certain size and I for one do not have the time or patience to make a bunch of new squares. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do, or tell her? It will not do any good to have the repair person tell her that her machine is not repairable, as she would call around and find another place to take it. Or call the manufacturer, or anyone else who might be able to tell her what she wants to hear.
Any help would be appreciated, I am just so over these quilts.
All this of course doesn't address the underlying issue of your mom's dementia, decline, etc. but it might make her feel better if progress is being made toward completing the quilts. In her mind, the quilts are part of her legacy, and I think the recipients would be very happy to have them.
(I also like the idea of getting the quilts finished by someone else, that would take away the motivation and you could pull them out when she gets stuck in a loop)
Get ready with a much simpler project for her to work on since she will have a lot of free time on her hands with her quilting project gone. Plan ahead with lots of distractions when the questions come and come and come.
I'm surprised that she has been so stuck on making them a certain size, etc. You'd think with her level of dementia that she'd change her mind from time to time on it.
For keeping her mind and hands busy - there are ridiculously simple embroidery kits which she might find insultingly easy, but on the other hand you really can't go wrong - it's stitching by numbers, essentially. Those for children are of course designed to give quick but satisfying results.
She already has a really good craft lamp, has she, I expect? You can also get magnifiers which attach to them, or to an embroidery or quilting frame, which makes it easier to see your work.
There are sewing machine needle threaders that work quite well and are not attached to the machine. I use one on my old machine that does not have a build in needle threader. It does sound like Mum, need someone to thread the machine as well as the needle. Does her machine have speed control? I guessing that if it has a needled threader it will.
I second the suggestion to see if there is a quilt guild nearby where a member may be able to help Mum out. Especially if it can be introduced to Mum as her sharing her experience and mentoring a younger quilter.
Good luck. We are trying to convince Dad that he does not need to build more raised beds in the garden. Only 4 of the 12 that are there were planted this year. But he insists he needs more garden space. It is like these projects will keep them alive.