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Mentally ill father, abusive mentally and physically, had Minor stroke 3 years ago, doesn't do physical therapy, doesn't eat healthy is extremely overweight, drinks and smokes pot and I'm stuck in his house under his abuse and need to get out of here resources or to get him to seek help for his mental illness

If you are over 18, you're old enough to have your own life and your own home. You owe an abuser nothing, even if he is your father. He's not going to seek help nor can you help him to do that. He's an addict and they never change.

Step up and take responsibility for yourself. He's his own problem, not yours.
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Reply to Fawnby
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funkygrandma59 Aug 11, 2024
AMEN!!!
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Why are you messing with this guy?
Can you tell me that?
Do you LIVE with him?
Does he LIVE with you?
And if either of those are true, whose fault is that, exactly?

If you do not want to have anything to do with a mentally ill abusive person I suggest you stay out of their general territory. It may be a good idea to move away across the country so that you will not be tempted to manage the unmanageable.

He will not change.
The only question left, then, is--will YOU?
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Dad isn’t changing, unless it’s to worsen. No one deserves abuse, ever. Please leave and don’t look back. I’m sorry it can’t be different or better, it’s time to look after yourself and build a life with people who bring good things to you
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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How old is dad? Elderly doesn't mean the same thing to some as it does others.

How old are you that you are stuck? Because at 18 you are free to move out and live your life on your terms and expense.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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You say he is elderly but not how old you are. Assuming you are over age 18 and capable, there is zero reason you need to stay in his house. Do you have a job and a bank account separate from his?

do you have other relatives or friends who can help you move out?

You can call adult protective services in your area and say he is not safe living on his own if you believe that is true.
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Reply to Suzy23
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If Dad was always abusive it’s too late for your Dad to change . This is who he is . Whether the abuse is new or not , you should not live with him .

Move out , maybe other family or friend can let you stay temporarily . If he is not able to take care of himself call APS. Does he go out on his own ? If not , who brings him booze and pot? How old is Dad ? Do you have a job ?
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Reply to waytomisery
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Why are you "stuck in his house" exactly?
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Reply to lealonnie1
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Hi unhappy, it would help if we new ages , yours and Dad's. And your dad's house , I'm assuming?

Do you have anyplace to go?

I've always said I will live in a cardboard box before I live with another abusive person.

Your brain is not thinking right at this point because of the abuse. You may think it is but once you get away , you will have much more clarity of the situation.

And please seek some therapy.

Do you work?

Like others said, you will not change your dad you can only change you, and what you will put up with. Your father is probably an alcoholic.

Honestly, I don't care what you dad eats, or if he exercise. This is about you and you getting out of there.
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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In the US it is legal to have untreated mental illness.

The only person you can change or make to get help is you.

Move out and take care of yourself.

My family has those with untreated schizophrenia and untreated bipolar. I think the diseases are harder on you and I. Best of luck.
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Beatty Aug 13, 2024
So agree.

The question was between
A. "How to get my ... Father help" or
B. "Remove him from my life"

Look for option C.
Change yourself.
Care for yourself.
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its very hard to force someone into mental health help, unless they are a danger to self or others.
if its not in that scenario, then best you can do is convince him, and tell him the alternatives if he does not do it.
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