So, mom's operation got postponed and is now very close to a vacation my hubby and mom and I were supposed to go on (which is already a postponed vacation). My husband and I still want to go. Feels selfish but OTOH I feel like we should be able to take a darn vacation!
Since the surgery is 2 weeks before the vacation, I don't see any way that she will be able to go after a total knee replacement. We drive and it's a long drive, at least 1 night in a hotel and 2 long days in the car.
She does not like to stay alone and has not for like 10 years so this is certainly not the time to start that.
She usually goes to my siblings house when hubby and I do a get away but sibling is having a hard time with the visits but says she'll tough it out. I know she suffers though. Cries every day and is upset and counting down the minutes until she has her small house back.
I can't decide what to do!!
Go on vacation or postpone again?
Send mom to sister's even though it will be hard on sister?
Set up respite care near our home? But she thinks she can go to my sister's so how could I tell her, no, you can't go there and are going to a nursing home instead? That will not go over well. She is still competent - not 100% but definitely with it enough to be fully aware of what's going on, etc.
As far as your mom, Medicare will pay for 21 days rehab at 100%. I would try to get her sent to rehab while you are gone. Just tell her the dr required it/prescribed it.
Do not ruin your vacation bc mom wants you to come home. She might try that. Cant cope. She will be fine. Dont ruin your vacation. It is not being selfish, it is recharging. You need alone time too.
why cant sibling cope? Mom cant cope? Good grief. Yes they can. I wouldnt cave into that. No its your turn. I wouldnt go home if they call with an emergency, bc there might be one just so you come home. Time for someone else to step up. Your unavailable. Good luck.
My sibling is great, but almost 2 weeks in a small house with one bathroom is just toooo much to be dealt with. She likes/needs to be alone a lot and I can respect that. She never wanted to take mom in and thinks I am crazy for having done so. She might be right!! While I wish she would be able to do more, I have to respect her limitations.
I will find a way to get a vacay for me and hubby and recharge our batteries. It's necessary and so enjoyable!
If there is no rehab that she could go to then I would opt for a caregiver to come in.
A rehab facility is not a "nursing home" even though some rehab facilities have wings in the same building and many of the residents of the Skilled Nursing Facility do have rehab..
(a rehab facility just opened up near me it is a "resort spa" rehab looks amazing and sounds like it has high end luxury hotel type amenities. I would love to spend a week or two there!)
I'd like to check into that resort spa too!!
Best wishes to you and your family.
Thanks.
Found out bad news today - IF hubby goes to FL, he will have to quarantine for TWO WEEKS prior to returning to work and he can not work from home so.....Had to cancel the vacation today!!!!
Hubby and I will do a combo of staycation and vacation in state so that he will not have to quarantine.
But the advice has been great and I will definitely use it in the future!