My mother in law was in a nursing home that we paid for then she got declined for Medicaid long story but due to her daughter! So now she is living with us and she sleeps all day and up all night! Barely eats, doesn't want a bath nor shower, has constant UTI'S! She has depression but doesn't want help! She is turning out home upside down and it's putting a toll on our relationship! We can't afford to put her in a nursing home anymore. So can we put her in a mental health place? Please someone help us.
Please speak to a social worker to help you plan for her future. I am sorry that you and your husband are struggling. It’s very difficult to be a hands on caregiver. I know. I have done it too.
Please make a call to Council on Aging in your area and see what respite care is available. Ask the doctor or hospital for a referral to a social worker to help you plan for placement.
Has her daughter expressed any interest in helping you out in regards to your MIL? If not, make plans yourself. Don’t put this off. You sound like you are close to burning out but a mental institution is NOT the answer here.
This is hard enough without people laying guilt on a situation they know very little about.
Has your MIL been assessed by a doctor and determined to need 24/7 care? Do you have a report from the doctor?
Who filled out the Medicaid application? That your SIL committed identity theft should be reported and charges brought, this will help your MIL get approved if that is what is stopping it. She doesn't deserve a do not go to jail free card, she needs to face the consequences of her criminal actions. Right now you are paying for her actions and that needs to change.
I am so sorry that you are having to care for someone that is bringing turmoil to your home. I am also very sorry that you guys spent your retirement to help her.
Is your husband helping you sort all of this out or has he given up?
You do need to do another application and be persistent in getting her the care she needs and your home back. There has to be a way.
I certainly wish you all the best. As I stated in my post to you I have enormous compassion for you because I have walked in your shoes and did hands on care for many years so I know the heartache.
Take care.
Speak to her doctor again. Speak to a social worker to help you plan. They know specifically what criteria is needed to help with planning for her future.