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My 73 yr old husband suffers from a type of cancer that makes excessive platelets resulting in mini TIAs which causes painful headaches for him. He has become quite forgetful (forgot to feed the dog, do his usual work around our place, forgets his wallet or keys. He doesn’t feel well but he has shown blown up temper directed to me for even small things like turning TV up too loud or criticing the way he spends money. He yells so loud I have to go in another room and close the door. He often follows me in and yells in my face. The worst part is he will keep going even if I try to ignore him. He even keeps yelling loudly in another room where I can’t even hear what he is saying. I’m embarrassed in front of the neighbors. How can I get him to stop this? It’s awful.

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I'm sorry your husband is suffering from cancer and painful headaches, which is no excuse for such abusive behavior towards you. Tell him to go lie down and relax when he's in pain rather than get his blood pressure UP by screaming at you, that you won't tolerate it any longer. The next time he chooses to scream at you, you're going to go stay in a hotel for a few days and be can scream at the 4 walls. The time after that, you'll go talk to an attorney.

Gold luck.
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If this is new behavior then this is a medical condition. Hubby needs the urine checked for UTI but he may also be having mini stokes that are changing his personality to the extent that he cannot be lived with. I cannot know if this is new behavior for him. Is it?

You need to speak to the doctor and he may need transport for scanning. If something is going on that's affecting the brain he needs to be where he an safely be treated. If he is having depression then that needs consideration of the MD also.
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I’m so sorry that you are in this situation. It sounds awful for both of you.

Has he always had a short fuse or is it just since he’s been sick?

The most logical way to handle this is to speak to the doctor.

If the doctor prescribes meds, please be aware that meds don’t work instantly. So many people think that they aren’t doing any good but it can take a few weeks for a person to adjust to them.

Wishing you peace as you continue on your caregiving journey.

Take breaks when you need to. Inquire about hiring additional help when needed. Don’t hesitate to wear earplugs to dull the screaming.

Sending hugs your way.
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Does he have a neurologist? If he does, he needs a visit. If he doesn’t, he needs one.

Is he driving?
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If he's unable to personally control this behavior due to his illness you will need to discuss medication options with his doctor. If he can't control this behavior it is merciful to help get him on medication to keep his agitation at a minimum. I'm so sorry you're in this situation -- I hope they have a solution for him.
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There is no way YOU can stop you husband from yelling. It would take medication. If your DH has cancer, then he has a doctor treating it. You can send a note to his doctor asking for an appointment to deal with it. Yelling so loudly cannot be helping his headaches, which seem to be related to the cancer, so this is one for the doctor to know about and help with.
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