He managed to get himself kicked out of their program for improper behavior. I have been on a LOA from work but it's running out. I've found another daycare and they provide transportation. He knows he has a memory problem but thinks he can still do most things, which he can't. He dresses himself and feeds himself and goes to the bathroom by himself, but as I said he wanders,. The police have picked him up twice while I was at work and I can't leave him alone anymore. He wants to go home like most of the problems and answers I have read about. He's the only one left of his childhood family, but he wants to go to visit his mother. The home he was raised in is a good 650 miles from where we live now. That's some background info, Now my question. How do I get him to go to the daycare when he doesn't think he needs to? His memory loop is about 30 seconds on a good day. He lives to go on rides, so I've given thought to telling him he was going on a ride, which wouldn't be a lie, but not sure how he would react when they didn't return home when the ride was over. What do you all think?
Thanks in advance.
You asked a similar question a few weeks back. If you want to keep your job you are going to have to place him. If you can afford it in Memory care, if not in a nice LTC facility with Medicaid paying.
You may want to read the posts from your 6/28 post. You got some good replies and I posted how you would become a Community Spouse. I think all you will get here are the same replies you got there. Time to place your husband.
Daycares are not locked down because all people who attend do not have a Dementia. Even ALs are not completely locked down. MCs and LTC facilities are.
I found another place that would take him, it was a Memory Care facility that had locked doors so the residents could not get out. (The Day Care told me they could not lock their doors. I found that rather odd...)
If the Day Care you found is able to lock their doors you do not have to worry about him leaving.
As to how to get him to go...There are a number of ways you can do this.
* What did he do for a living? Can you tell him that they need his help doing ..(whatever he is good at).. give the director at the Day care 2 or 3 dollars when you arrive and she / he can "pay" your husband at the end of the day. Continue that each day he goes.
* Tell him that they need his help watching the people that are there for the day. Again he can get "paid" for this.
* Tell him he can just go for lunch, after lunch they will bring him home.
* If they have a garden and he enjoys gardening, he can help out.
The staff in Day Care settings are usually pretty good at keeping people occupied. the drivers of the vans or buses that transport are also good at getting people on the bus or van.
And he will come home after he has a snack and a lunch.
Once on the bus there should not be a problem.