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He will argue with his image and becomes afraid of him. Is this normal as the disease progress? I have removed mirrors, except the one in the bathroom and he is hesitant to use the bathroom and take a shower in there because the man will hurt him.
AnitaG61 - Just be aware that the petroleum based coating on that static clinging material gives off toxic fumes, especially when exposed to heat/sunlight. When selling one house I had a devil of a time getting it off. Maybe there are some products that don't do that now (it was 2008).
On the other side, my Brother's MIL found a new friend. They went to see her and she was telling them about her new neighbor and what a lovely person she was. She said, let me introduce her to you. She went into the bedroom where the mirrored closet doors were and proceeded to have a wonderful conversation with the person in the "apt. next door".
I remember reading that people with dementia at any stage get very confused when looking in a mirror because they don't recognize themselves at this stage of life. If you put a picture of your husband up when he was younger then it might help him to go in the bathroom. My mom had a HORRIBLE time taking a shower when I first took her to the facility. She would fight the attendants and it was terrible. Now she is far enough along that she is wheelchair bound and or bedridden and it's not a problem. They think of themselves as young instead of that old person in the mirror (heck I do too when I look at myself:) (have to keep my sense of humor somehow). Anyway, try to put up a picture of him when he was younger or like posted above, take the mirrors down. Oh, it's also normal for them to fight a shower because they either don't understand what is going to happen in that tiny space plus water hitting them, they think they already have (as in my mother's case when she hadn't showered in a week or so) or it's just something else they are being told to do, at what time and where and how to do it. Don't know how I will react when someone tells me what to do all the time. Good luck and God Bless
Recently I got a new smart phone, I decided to test out it's video capabilities by video my Mom talking to me. When I showed it to her, she got very agitated. She screamed, that's not me, that's an ugly old man! Since then, I have realized I cannot show her any photos of herself, as she does not recognize it as her. Evidently when she looks in a mirror she still sees herself as a young woman.
I have a mirror story to share from a friend. He is the sole caregiver of his mom who now has late stage alzheimers. When she had mid stage alzheimers, she had already lost most of her ability to speak but she seemed to still be able to understand when she was spoken to. He estimated that she believed she was between 25 and 30 so when she saw herself in the mirror she didn't see herself. She looked very much like her mother and my friend believes that she thought she was seeing her mother in the mirror. And since she believed she was between 25 and 30, her mother still would have been alive.
She had long "conversations" with her mirror mother punctuated by giggles, laughing and what he could only imagine was talking about her children (grandchildren to her mirror mom) though she mostly babbled nonsense. After these long conversations she would be so content and smiling so he chose to let her continue as such.
As her alzheimers progressed, he estimated she believed she was 16-18, a time which her mother would have been much much younger than her current appearance. At this point, she began having massive arguments with the mirror mom (who she may no longer see as her mom since she had regressed further). She would scream and yell and get herself so worked up she would almost vomit. After a day of this developing, he chose to cover all the mirrors and reflective surfaces (even the toaster, car side mirrors, etc) in an effort to keep her calm. He was fine with the conversations as long as they were making her happy but needed to protect her later.
Eventually he found that this mirror reaction completely ended and he was able to remove the covers. Now in her advanced state she doesn't even acknowledge the mirrors one way or another. I think if the mirrors are causing fear, then definitely cover them. This phase will pass.
You might check "decorative privacy window film" on Amazon. It' s static cling to put on windows for privacy - you cut to fit. This might work for you on a mirror! It's not easy to peel off, but does come off when you want to remove it. I've used on a bathroom window, as well as on the bottom of a 1st floor window where I just wanted a bit more privacy but didn't want to cut off too much light.
There are LOTS of designs and levels of privacy, so I'd think you could find one that would work for you. (And I'd also think that this would be a relatively easy fix - as well as easy to undo.)
Some care homes I have visited use a picture of the client that they recognise as being them (and that can vary depending on what time space they are in) and put that where the mirror used to be. It isn't always successful but it works for some people and does stop a lot of the distress for those people.
My wife removed the tape and sheets over the mirrors. I eventually had all the mirrors removed. When she was in a bad mood, the person in the mirror was highly hateful to her. Also, she didn't want those addional people looking at her naked when she used the tub. After our daughter came for a visit, my wife would complain about all the women in the house. The mirrors were a major negative trigger until I took them down. The resulting peace was well worth the contractor cost to remove and store the mirrors.
My husband went through the same thing. Somehow he even etched the glass in my antique dining room mirror. I covered every mirror and he then stopped. He is over that now and is in late stage dementia. They seem to go through spells of different things!
I had to cover a very large mirror in the bathroom with a klight weight plastic table cloth, used painters tape to secure. Have had to take down all mirrors he could see. . It is difficult to get him to take a shower as it is without seeing people in the mirror.
This is very common with AD. Your husband, in his mind, is a much younger man so that man is a stranger. He may become frightened by the "intruder."
One common suggestion for AD caregivers is to remove or cover mirrors. I know - it's hard. But when you "get into his head" - well, think of how you'd react if you walked into a room and saw a stranger standing there!
One more devastating aspect of AD that is far, far too common. Take care of yourself any way that you can, Carol
Oh my gosh how awful and frustrating for your husband and YOU! Can you cut down an old sheet that will fit specifically the bathroom mirror, and just keep it in the bathroom? You could affix velcro to both the wall surrounding the mirror and the sheet itself, then putting it up before he takes a shower wouldn't be that big of a problem. You Sure don't want to discourage him from taking showers, then you'll have a whole different issue! ♥
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
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APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
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If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
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This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
She had long "conversations" with her mirror mother punctuated by giggles, laughing and what he could only imagine was talking about her children (grandchildren to her mirror mom) though she mostly babbled nonsense. After these long conversations she would be so content and smiling so he chose to let her continue as such.
As her alzheimers progressed, he estimated she believed she was 16-18, a time which her mother would have been much much younger than her current appearance. At this point, she began having massive arguments with the mirror mom (who she may no longer see as her mom since she had regressed further). She would scream and yell and get herself so worked up she would almost vomit. After a day of this developing, he chose to cover all the mirrors and reflective surfaces (even the toaster, car side mirrors, etc) in an effort to keep her calm. He was fine with the conversations as long as they were making her happy but needed to protect her later.
Eventually he found that this mirror reaction completely ended and he was able to remove the covers. Now in her advanced state she doesn't even acknowledge the mirrors one way or another. I think if the mirrors are causing fear, then definitely cover them. This phase will pass.
Angel
There are LOTS of designs and levels of privacy, so I'd think you could find one that would work for you. (And I'd also think that this would be a relatively easy fix - as well as easy to undo.)
One common suggestion for AD caregivers is to remove or cover mirrors. I know - it's hard. But when you "get into his head" - well, think of how you'd react if you walked into a room and saw a stranger standing there!
One more devastating aspect of AD that is far, far too common.
Take care of yourself any way that you can,
Carol
that's her."