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Talking to his health care team is an excellent first step.
Non medical interventions include increasing fluid intake, increasing fiber in the diet (whole wheat products, cut up fruit or fresh veggies) and increasing activity.
Having a hot beverage and fiber in the breakfast meal, followed by a trip to the toilet can be good timing - the body has a reflex that after a large meal, the urge to pass BM occurs.
Works best in AM, as elder is well rested, stronger and more able to bear down.
Stool softeners and agents that add bulk are usually preferred first, with laxatives as a back up measure.
But, start with MD first. Many of these strategies need to be tailored to the individual's particular needs.
Just because products are sold in the drug store without a prescription, they are not harmless meds.
And the obsession does pass, with time.
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It means that the bowel is not fully emptying...which creates a lot of discomfort for the person. The bowel is 3" in diameter & can expand up to 9" in width with impacted waste along the bowel walls. Particularly in the area of the sigmoid colon (the area above the rectum) impaction develops. In effect, no matter how many times the person has a BM, they feel very uncomfortable that the bowel has not fully emptied.
Make a tea of flax seeds. 1 tblspn brown flax seeds...Pour a cup of boiling distilled water over the seeds..cover & .let sit until it cools enough to drink. Add honey if needed. 1 tblpsn of Sonne Detoxificant #7 in a big mug of distilled water am & pm will absorb the loosened waste so it can easily be passed from the body.
This will help to clear the congestion in the bowel. I also left other suggestions for improving bowel function below.
Bless you for taking such good care of your husband. Even though he may not express it verbally, I feel sure he appreciates and loves you in return.

"For love, is sufficient unto love"
Kahil Gibran
The Prophet
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disgustedtoo Nov 2021
While some or all of your suggestions, including those in other posts, may be helpful to someone in some instances, we are NOT doctors and should not be recommending treatments, especially when we have not examined the patient and have no idea what the underlying cause is. While there may be no harm caused by adding some fiber to the diet, or mild laxatives, WE don't know that. This may be just another manifestation of this lovely condition (dementia), as others have noted their LOs have similar issues or there could be a medical reason why this is happening. On the other hand, there could be a medical condition causing him to "feel" the need to go again.

OP should bring this up with his doctor. There should be various non-invasive tests that can be done to rule out many conditions. Never should we be recommending "treatments" like this without consult and exam by doctors. It could be doing more harm than good or give a false sense of security when there might be a treatable condition which could become worse when ignored/non-helpful treatments given.

If nothing is medically wrong, this could, like for others, just be his form of dementia induced OCD. In that case, a doctor could try prescribing an anti-anxiety med to tone down his "obsession." Consult with doc, have tests/checks needed to rule out anything medically treatable.
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We are dealing with the opposite. MIL is obsessed about having to have a BM that she refuses to eat. She will not eat because she does not want to have a BM. I finally told her if she does not eat then she will end up in the hospital with a feeding tube! We finally have her eating soup and very little chicken/tuna salad with no bread. Her obsession with BM's has become a food aversion for her.....oh wait....she wouldn't pass up a cookie though :)
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princessasa Nov 2021
There are always rational reasons for choices, even though we may not understand at the time. This means it is painful for her to pass the bowel movement. Elderly are often dehydrated. Water is absorbed through the large bowel..therefore not enough water intake the waste becomes dry and impacted. Also lack of exercise causes constipation. A little cold pressed castor oil inserted into the rectum before bowel movements will ease this pain of passing. Plenty of distilled water & herb teas & fresh pressed vegetable juices will all be to her benefit. In addition, a feed of pitted prunes, soaked in hot distilled water & a the juice of half a lemon for the day. Serve with yoghurt (or ice cream if it will encourage to eat). This moves the bowel naturally the next day & is not addictive as laxatives are . The prune supper given 3 or 4 nights a week (in addition to increase in fluids & exercise )will get the bowel functioning nicely with no side effects
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Oh my, this is so common in dementia patients. My mother used to be a nurse (RN) and I remember her saying "I don't know why, but old people get so obsessed with their bowel movements." Well, guess what mom's obsessed with now?

I honestly don't know what the deal is with them & their bowel movements. I could do with a little less information about my mom's though.
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wonolancet: This, too, was what my late mother endured/had a big issue with. When she was stopped up and could not defecate, she had to take medicine. Then she had the opposite problem and swore off taking Imodium EVER again for fear of getting blocked up again. I had such a problem with her as I had to live with and provide care for her out of state. Yes, elders CAN and DO obsess about having a bowel movement. Imho, your husband should visit his gastroenterologist just to rule out any health issue with his colon.
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My mom's dementia is mild beginning to have some symptoms that seem to suggest moderate and she definitely seems to be a bit obssessed with BMs and pee ... Reading these posts make me shudder for what may be ahead.
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Maybe he's not getting it all out when he goes.
Mention this to his Dr.
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My sister went through this obsession for a very long time. As it turned out, she really had lost the ability to know when she had to go or not. She also "forgot" how to bear down to eliminate the poop. She became impacted several times and cried incessantly that her stomach/side hurt. When she did have a bowel movement, it was so large that it could not be flushed down the toilet! We tried everything under the sun that was recommended by Doctors and friends - over the counter and prescription. One of her Doctors (NOT GI!) gingerly suggested an old-time remedy - mineral oil. Once we started her on this every night, we never had another problem. And yes, we too had the TP problem...we finally replaced her toilet with one that had a more powerful flush and got stopped up very infrequently.
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My mom who’s 78 and has dementia is also going through the same thing right now. She phones me daily to complain that she’s constipated and the Sister at her frail-care won’t give her medication. Tells me she hasn’t been to the toilet in days, when in reality the Sister monitors all her bowel movements and medicates accordingly. She wants me to sneak medication in for her so she can take it when she’s constipated but she forgets that she’s been. It’s got so bad that I’m thinking of just giving her a few sugar pills to “hide” in her room (I’ll still tell the Sister) so she thinks she has control. She also gets a bit aggressive with me when I tell her she has been to the toilet and doesn’t need meds - she says “how would I know - do I trust what the Sisters say”. It’s very difficult and I hope, for the both of us, this phase passes soon. All the best dealing with such a difficult situation.
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princessasa Nov 2021
Laxatives are addictive & a tolerance forms over time..meaning a lot more of the same medication is needed to get the same result. This is turn weakens the bowel so it cannot function correctly. Constipation means all the waste is not being emptied, which in turn is causing irritation, inflammation and upset (as you are aware) for the patient. The following help with bowel function: Flax seed tea, alfalfa tablets, dried fruits (especially prunes & figs) soaked in hot water for min. 8 hours. Plenty of vegetables..sprouts, salad whenever bread is eaten. Foods with soluble & insoluble fibre (google has lists) Yellow vegetables (due to magnesium content) corn meal x 2 times a week for breakfast, butternut squash, pumpkin,...Exercise is crucial...even a walk around the ward x 2 times daily. If she is unable to walk you could get her a mini trampoline that she uses to just press her feet on as she sits on the chair/bed each day to move the circulation and lymph
Abdominal massage with a little oil warmed in your hands (move the hands in a clockwise motion). Distilled water is so important...Perhaps you could take some gallon bottles of distilled & a drinking sized bottle when you visit. The body will respond nicely if you give it the exercise, water, foods & wholesome supplements it needs to function in a healthy way
In a medical system nurses consider 1BM a day healthy...regardless of the size or quantity of waste...this is inaccurate. The bowel is designed to empty after each meal. Listen to your Mother please. Even if you are able/willing to instigate some of the above suggestions it will improve her health & well being.
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My mom is obsessed with sitting on the toilet too. Goes through a whole roll or more of TP every day. Sometimes she falls asleep on the toilet. For a while she was flushing all kinds of objects down the toilet, so there were several clogged toilet incidents. She even took one of the cardboard cores, cut it up and flushed it down. Since then, I take the cardboard out of the TP before she gets it. (And, yes, I know there are coreless rolls, I don't want to pay more for them.) One of her phones is by the toilet and 3 out of 4 times we call, she is on the toilet.

It seems like a common obsession.
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Having a bowel movement is something he understands and is able to do. As others have said, this particular obsession may not last forever. If he is not causing himself any harm, let him visit the toilet as often as he feels the need.
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Obsessions are common with dementia. He may feel constipated or feel urge to defecate. Please address this with his doctor to make sure he doesn't have a gi tract problem. If that checks out ok, the best option may be to put him on a toileting schedule - every 2 hours on the toilet while he is awake. Divert his attention to other topics or activities the rest of the time.
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We had this with my sister. She had a period of time where all she wanted was to sit on the toilet. Even when she went out all she wanted was to find a public toilet. It went on for a while and then, like most of the phases of Alzheimers, it stopped. We sometimes just had to leave her on the loo for quite a while so that she was content for a while. It's a difficult phase but it should pass. Good luck.
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Have you told the doctor about this? Alzheimer’s can affect bodily functions. My brother in law could sense the need but his body could not eliminate. It led to impaction and hospitalization.
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Maybe he feels he's not "cleaned out" enough.
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Men and their bowels! It's an obsession with them from teen years until they die. My sons were obsessed when they were teens, my husband moans and groans about being a couple of hours "overdue," and my dad was freaked out about possible constipation when he was dying of cancer.

I have nothing better to offer than what has already been said here, but I think men are somehow wired to obsess about their bowel movements. :-)
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Obsessive thoughts & behaviors in general are common with dementia/Alzheimer's, especially as the wretched disease progresses, unfortunately. Check with your husband's doctor to see if there is a medication that can be prescribed to calm the OCD down a bit so both of you can relax with this obsession he's having.

Good luck!
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My dad was raised to believe you HAD to have a good BM first thing in the morning and as smart as this man was---he was a little obsessed with this.

Dementia makes it a whole new ballgame. We'd just have to lie to daddy and he'd believe us. As he got worse, he'd obsess a little more.

I agree--have him checked for hemorrhoids. Those can make it feel like he needs to 'go' when there is simply some swelling that can be helped.
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Have you spoken to his doctor about this? Maybe he has hemorrhoids, which can make things feel weird.
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