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Bathroom floor, toilet and walls on both sides. If he sits down it comes out front.  Help?  He has dementia, diabetes and ptsd. We finally had him doing good then he starts this. He still knows me and acts pretty normal most of the time. He always has cognitive problems. We have depends and pads but he still tries to go to bathroom. Then it starts. Yesterday he tried 5 times. I am so tired. Is there any hope?

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Thank you, Mr. Roberts.
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Many memory loss patients have increasing difficulty with activities of daily living. But there are ways to help with capacity for daily life. Dr. Paul Raia of the Alzheimer's Association has helped people solve this problem:

"A principle of habilitative design is that we use color and textural contrast to draw attention to important features of the environment, and we camouflage or hide dangerous or distracting elements of the environment. To illustrate, I was called to a caregiver’s apartment because her husband, a mid-stage Alzheimer's patient, was urinating in a closet.

The problem as I saw it was that the couple had recently moved to a new apartment and he more often than not chose the wrong door when he felt he needed to use the bathroom. In fact, the bathroom and closet doors were adjacent to one another. By painting the bathroom door red, the color automatically drew the gentlemen’s attention and he reliably chose the correct door. However, once in the bathroom he was confronted by white walls and floor, a white sink, toilet, and bathtub. He often would urinate in the bathtub. I instructed the caregiver to purchase a red toilet seat. The problem was solved."

Dr. Raia's approach to solving these problems is important for all of us, and can have a positive effect on everything involving the case of a memory loss patient, including legal planning and how assets and resources are allocated.
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Hubby uses his all the time. I keep a spare so I can clean out the original one with bleach every so often.

I think there are also disposable units similar that can be used in the car. Hubby's Daughter carries them in her car.
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We have on we kept from the hospital. He is a stinker about using it, so much drama. But when we go to the doctor or shopping I take it. Plus inserts, depends, extra pants and wet wipes. Just like a baby!
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Yes ferris that is exactly what i suggested. It worked well for one of my clients i think its worth a try. They are very inexpensive as ferris said and easy to rinse and go.
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Oh, I thought of something else. Try the urinal for men (plastic) you usually get while in the hospital. If you don't have one, just about every place like (Walgreen's, Walmart, etc.) sell them. He can hold onto the handle and place the penis inside. That might give him more privacy.
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Thank you Yogagirl, I love my Momma and my Husband so much I have a lot of good days with them. Now he is so proud that he is not making a mess. He just couldn't understand how he was making that mess. He saw me cleaning and cleaning and once crying. I can't cry in front of him anymore, it kills him. He still tries to always make me laugh. That is why I married him, he always makes me laugh and when I think of him I smile even thru all of this awful stuff! But you all give me the tools I need to figure this stuff out. I am not a quitter. I will make it and no regrets. Love, prayers and hugs to all, I love you all very much!!!!!!!!!
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College, you have a great outlook and I enjoyed reading your post. It feels good knowing we are not alone. I have many challenges taking care of mom and dad at home, and love everyone on this site, too!
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My husband had the same problem and managed to take his depends off every time to then pee or poop on the way to the bathroom. There are adult incontinence onesies one can buy which open in the back. That will prevent him from taking off the depends and you can help him safely to the bathroom to change him.
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I can place him he has Vet benefits, but I promised not until he doesn't know us. Until then he is staying home. We have been married 52 years, I told him he could put me in a place if I get hard to handle. I don't want to do this to anyone! I would rather not be a burden!
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If you don't have insurance then a nursing home is out of the question. I'll have in home care when the time comes.
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Hubby uses a male urinal as the p_e dribbles and doesn't go a good, hard, steady stream. He tends to go on his pants. A urinal described above would not work. Searched interned for a portable urinal and the only one available is like the hospitals units. Someone tried to invent one, but it fell through last year with not enough funding.
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I was thinking of an elongated toilet also. That way the front is wider and easier for men. When we put new toilets in our house my husband insisted on them they are much more comfortable for men. You could also try a hand held urinal. This way he can put "it" right in the top do his business and then just dump it in the toilet. I had a client who used one all the time as it was hard for him to stand in front of the toilet. It worked great I never had to clean up after him, just rinse out the urinal and we were good to go.
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Oh my goodness, I love you all so much and I feel so much better knowing you all believe me and understand. My bathroom and all of my house is light very clean and fresh eggshell satin finish easy to clean. The floor in the bathroom is vinyl tiles that are white with grey flakes. You all have made me feel so much more equipped to deal with this problem. Awesome answers, I don't know what I would do without you all!!!! He is doing all of the stuff the others did, now I don't feel like he is so weird. In his little mind he was trying not to make a mess, but it didn't work. He is very confused and strong. Very smart man still, so it breaks my heart. He fights this stuff and won't give up, but he is losing control with his bladder and fights that too. So he has been using my Mothers old potty and it works. It is small and squeezes his stuff up. But it works, poor Baby. I hate this but I will empty a pot a lot happier than cleaning the toilet area all day long from top to bottom. I know soon it will be total depends. Love to you all! Lotsa hugs too!!!!!!! Thank you!!!!!!!!!
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If you want to go the funnel route there are commercial products available, picture a urinal with a hose attached. I also came across a device that was brilliant in it's simplicity, a large plastic shield that fits inside the toilet bowl and up the back and sides, too bad we can't give product names, try searching urine shields or urine guards.
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I like the funnel idea! I don't understand why people feel strange about pee in the shower, I hear this often. My shower is the object of thousands of gallons of soapy water daily, so I figure it gets cleaned out pretty good, as long as the liquid hits the area designed for water flow and not like the upper surfaces of the tub :(
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How about a kitchen funnel (plastic)? I know it sounds strange but I'm just thinking about what Hell2getold said....plus you may have one at home already.....just a thought. Blessings to you all! Loved the kitty litter suggestion! LOL
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Just to provide a chuckle, I'll tell the following: Many years ago I volunteered at a nature center where many children visited, and the woman who managed it used to wonder why the wall around the urinals was made of wood. She concluded that the person who designed it didn't have four little boys as she did!

As the wood was unfinished, maybe the idea was simply to replace it at some point! Perhaps covering the floor around the toilet with disposable material is the best option when dealing either with elders or children!
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You're not alone. Very frustrating and tiring. My problem is a parent who had large portion of her small intestine removed in her twenties. Saved her life but has has chronic diarrehea ever since. So, now elderly and even though knows when can't always control herself and paper depends aren't really designed for liquid poop. So, count your blessings that it is one room and not diarrehea. You don't say if he heads off by self to toilet. What works for me is post meals and I help get situated. Liked toddler comment. My son used to pee in public. Boy, was that embarrassing.
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This is one time where you might do the "hands on" approach. Sitting down on the toilet to urinate for a male is very strange to them, let alone one with dementia. Try going with him next time. If you are embarrassed, get over it. Unless you enjoy cleaning up after him this is a suggestion. Yes, there is hope. The next phase is for him to be bedridden where he cannot move and you will be changing him in the bed. Hang in there, it won't be forever...
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When I win the lottery I'm going to have a custom urinal built in the bathroom for Rainman to use. I can see the point in letting someone with aim issues pee in the shower, but...ewww, don't think I'd ever feel comfortable showering in there ever again. But I get it - sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
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One thing I've found is that sometimes they don't "see" the toilet--sometimes the floor, walls and toilet are all white, so they don't see where to aim. Or even just the white toilet seat on the white toilet makes it difficult to aim. One trick I've heard of is to get a darker toilet seat or use a darker colored tape around the rim of the bowl (if he is lifting up the seat)--this way the brain may register that he has to aim inside the ring. I've even heard of people putting a red "X" in tape on the back of the bowl, out of the water level, so there's something to aim at. I know of one woman I work with who was having this issue, and she bought a black toilet seat and her husband stopped peeing everywhere--worked for her, but you know how these things go! I hope you find something that works for you.
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Let him him relieve his bladder in the shower/bathtub. Bigger target designed to let liquid flow through. Easier to clean for you, easier for him to reach.
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My adult disabled son lives at home so I've had this problem for about 20 years! The house we moved into six years ago has stone tile on the floor - when hubby takes our son to the bathroom he always misses if pee gets on the floor, then it soaks into the porous tile - very hard to clean and odor builds. I gotta say the answers here are very good - tried them all with the exception of kitty litter, which is kind of brilliant and the cup-like device mema mentioned - had plans to invent something like that myself, another million dollar idea lost, I guess! Anyhow - I basically do a combo of the previous comments. Rainman pees sitting down when I take him potty. I have boxes of gloves in the bathroom and start by putting one on and giving "it" a little tuck down. Then I stay and watch to make sure things don't rearrange and come out the front. If it goes on the floor at that time - gloves, soak up with toilet paper than a scrub with Clorox wipes. If the urine has been sitting a bit - soak up with tp, spray lots of Clorox bathroom cleaner, let it soak (wouldn't let it soak if it weren't stone, otherwise you'd probably damage the floor) wipe up with a rag, then run Clorox wipes over the area. I throw out all the cleaning items- even the rags, in the outside garbage immediately or my bathroom starts to smell like a urinal! It must be a guy thing cause hubby insists on helping Rainman to pee standing up - he puts on a glove and assists with aim. However, helping to aim is problematic as sometimes it comes out misdirected or even forked (sorry if TMI) and then it goes everywhere but in the toilet! When that happens I use the previously mentioned clean up routine. Thank God for Costco as we go through gloves and Clorox products at an amazing speed.
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Get him to sit down. I have one bathroom with carpeting. No men allowed unless they are willing to sit. Tell him European men do it, so it is not emasculating. There may also be health benefits for him: stevenaitchison/blog/7-need-to-pee-sitting-down/
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My Mom had that issue with my Dad, they both were in their 90's and for Mom trying to clean up where Dad messed was becoming difficult for her.

So the next time this happened she handed Dad the spray cleaner, and the paper towels. After a couple of weeks of cleaning up his own misses and not getting to the bathroom in time, he started to wear Depends. Now I understand this would only work if the person in question still has a clear enough mind to understand.
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My husband the same problem of peeing all over and I got so frustrated whir always having to clean everything. I then got him to sit down but that didn't always work out either.
I researched on line and found a deflector that will fit on the seat when he sits down. It works great! I have him sit first and then I put it on the seat. It's the same idea as when you potty train a little boy. Very inexpensive and has saved my sanity.
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I just thought of another idea in addition to the nursing home idea. I don't know how, and elongated toilets are in homes, but if the problem you're facing is actually a minor one, you may want to invest in a bigger toilet so that when the person sits down they have a better chance of getting their business in the toilet.
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I had an elderly friend who actually pooped all over the bathroom, and from what you described it sounds like it's time for a nursing home. There wouldn't be any other place take your loved one other than a nursing home that can give him the help he needs. My elderly friend ended up in a nursing home due to everything that was going on besides this and it just wasn't safe for him to be on his own anymore. Not everyone is cut out to do what only the pros can do, and sometimes you just have to turn for help.
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Would it be helpful to have a device that would give him better aim? I've seen a thing advertised on TV for women where it cups over the crotch and you can aim and direct the flow away from you. I don't know, just trying to think out loud here. Good luck.
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