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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
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Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
A few months ago, my mother was mad at everyone in her Assisted Living. She told them they were in Las Vegas, and no believed her. I had to break the news that she was not in Las Vegas. Then it was weeks on end of she had to find a new place because I was moving. Again I reassured her that I was not moving. If you wait a while, your husband will get stuck on something else.
What is hard for me is that my mother taught me to never lie to her or anyone else. It is so hard to try to go along with her on her fantasy travels. When I do, it is much easier.
Don't argue with him. Logic and reasoning and "the truth" won't change his mind. Go along, then redirect. "I'd love to go with him to your other place. How would we get there? ... Oh, by train? OK, I'll check the train schedules after dinner. For right now can you keep me company in the kitchen while I make some cookies?" or "I'm so sorry that we won't be able to go there this week. Tell me what you like best about that place."
I have read that "home" means different things and often is so vague in the mind of the dementia patient that they don't really know where they are describing. It may be they want comfort, calm and security and they call that home. I'm not sure we can know exactly what they mean.
My LO has recently talked of going home and she gives the city that she lived in as a very young girl. She moved to a nearby town at age 6. But still, she recalls something about this city and thinks her parents want her to go there. She does know her parents are dead.
I have a friend whose mom asked to go home often and when they took her home for a visit she denied it was her home and claimed she was at a hotel. When she returned to the nursing home, she told them all that her daughter lived in a motel and she never wanted to go there again. She never asked to go home after that.
Whatever seems to work in the moment is a good idea, IMO. Depending on his level of dementia, you might offer some comments about how his progress will determine when he goes there or that you have to sort out the paperwork, get forms completed for a move, or some other short explanation that satisfies him. I often say that I'm working on the transfer and for now, let's talk about some great things that are going on like the evening activities, singing group, dinner menu, etc. I suggest a walk to the activity room or suggest we make a list of items she might need like toothpaste.....anything to move the topic along. If she persists, I keep moving it along.
No sis took mom for a drive by, it got very ugly, mom got out of the car and was demanding to get it the house.. We just try to keep her focused on where she is and who she is with and all the fun stuff at the ALF.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
What is hard for me is that my mother taught me to never lie to her or anyone else. It is so hard to try to go along with her on her fantasy travels. When I do, it is much easier.
My LO has recently talked of going home and she gives the city that she lived in as a very young girl. She moved to a nearby town at age 6. But still, she recalls something about this city and thinks her parents want her to go there. She does know her parents are dead.
I have a friend whose mom asked to go home often and when they took her home for a visit she denied it was her home and claimed she was at a hotel. When she returned to the nursing home, she told them all that her daughter lived in a motel and she never wanted to go there again. She never asked to go home after that.
Whatever seems to work in the moment is a good idea, IMO. Depending on his level of dementia, you might offer some comments about how his progress will determine when he goes there or that you have to sort out the paperwork, get forms completed for a move, or some other short explanation that satisfies him. I often say that I'm working on the transfer and for now, let's talk about some great things that are going on like the evening activities, singing group, dinner menu, etc. I suggest a walk to the activity room or suggest we make a list of items she might need like toothpaste.....anything to move the topic along. If she persists, I keep moving it along.