Follow
Share

My friend, who is 65 yrs old, had Covid and 3 months post-recovery, is still going through neurological problems. He's experiencing a cognitive decline, dizziness, total incontinence, fatigue, depression, unable to walk, except with max assistance, and other neurological problems like the lack of feeling on the surface of both legs or strong contractions of his muscles. Prior to Covid, he was fully functioning and lived a great life. Now he's unable to do anything without assistance. I am coping right now because I am really too tired to think straight, so I am functioning like a machine. I pray for strength and for his healing. I care for him in my home and have no family support. Right now, I am fighting depression myself, but with my Father Yah, all things are possible. Faith is how I cope.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
You cannot sustain his needs as one person for long. He’s 247, how do you deal with having a job plus dealing with him?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

There is little information on long covid, although now there are many studies being done.

The CDC has decided that long covid is the price people may have to pay for getting covid. It could be the next public health disaster. Since the majority of the population has decided that covid is over (and they have decided that it has been over for quite some time now), it's up to the individual to (attempt to) keep themselves safe. And if they don't/can't? Too bad.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
AnnReid Aug 2022
Would you be kind enough to share your source for the statement “The CDC has decided that long COVID is the price people may have to pay for getting Covid”?

I stay fairly familiar with what the CDC puts out, and I can’t find anything like this statement, or in fact anything in the paragraph that follows.

It is important to me to be able to find references to what your comment contains.

Thank you for your anticipated help.
(1)
Report
It really doesn't matter whether it's long covid, a stroke, a car crash or something else, what he has isn't likely to resolve any time soon and his care is beyond the scope of one caregiver in the home. People seem to think it's a natural progression for someone in their 80's with symptoms like that to move to a facility, but when it happens to anyone younger nobody wants to make that step. I think with the help of APS you need to explore what kind of facilities are available for him and encourage him/his POA to find an appropriate placement. Don't think of it as abandoning him, it would be the opposite of that because he would be getting the kind of care he needs and you could be his loving advocate.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

First of all people who are vaccinated and boosted are still getting covid. So the CDC's stuoud statement that long covid is the price people have to pay for getting covid is one if the many stupid things they have been saying for two plus years.

Second if they really were all about the science then they would be studying what treatments those with long covid received. And if they were vaccinated before or after getting covid. Because maybe just maybe the treatnents and / or the vaccines are contributing to these long covid symptoms.

But the CDC and Fauci and the rest of them are not concerned about science. They are more concerned about getting a needle in the arms of every single living person on this planet from infant to old age. For a virus that has an over 98% survival rate. There is no science behind any of this.

And FYI the CDC also does not track the rate of flu infection correlating with flu vaccination either. Just something to think about.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
BurntCaregiver Aug 2022
sp19690,

I think Dr Fauci is concerned about science since he's dedicated his entire life to the study, prevention, and treatment of infectious diseases.
The vaccine and boosters do not prevent a person from getting infected with Covid. The prevent a person from getting dead from Covid. The same as a flu shot. It does not prevent people from getting strains of influenza. It prevents whatever strain they do get from killing them.
I had all my Covid shots and got it again a couple of months later. I didn't really get sick though. My only symptoms were that I felt tired and lost my sense of taste and smell for two days.
(7)
Report
See 5 more replies
I have long-hauler Covid symptoms. I had it back in January 2021 and was sick for a long time. Not needing to be hospitalized sick, but like I had the worst flu of my life for almost two months.
Then I got better but had all kinds of problems that I still have now.
Extreme dizziness (vertigo) even when I'm in bed. The surface of my toes are permanently numb. The muscle contractions in my legs. Fatigue and very bad depression. My doctor just blows me off and tells me to lose more weight and I'll be fine. Your friend's Covid symptoms are real.
However he needs more care than you can provide to him. He's 65 years old and hasn't regressed back into infancy like many elderly people do. He needs to be in assisted living now. Help him find a different living situation.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
sp19690 Aug 2022
And your vaccination status before getting covid? And during time of these symptoms. You really should be asking yourself why anyone would think covid would cause leg pains. My husband's friend had excruciating back pain after getting vaccinated. Lucky for her after 2 months they went away.
(3)
Report
See 6 more replies
I think you can compare COVID long haul is like PPS Post Polio Syndrome. In some cases "we" will not know the aftermath for years.
Faith is wonderful but unless you have a caregiver who happens to answer to the name of Faith you need more than just that.
This person may need caregivers 24/4
Assisted Living might be a possibility
He may even need Skilled Nursing.
Refer him to the local Area Agency on Aging and see if he qualifies for any services.
If he is a Veteran the VA may have some help available. And depending on where and when he served it might be a little help or a LOT.
And do an on line search for potential Clinical Trials for COVID Long Haul symptoms
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

You’re in Baltimore, right? I have 2 suggestions
- Do Google search as to Covid clinical trials at John Hopkins & try to enroll in one.
and
- get your friend into a gerontology group practice that is affiliated with JH Medical school or Univ of Maryland medical school. It would be the practice that runs the gerontology residency/fellowship programs and has MDs who are gerontologists who also see patients within their private practice but it’s schedule thru the department.

That you live in Balmer where there is not 1 but 2 medical schools within a bigger health science centers is beyond fortunate. It will take work to get him into a programs but once he is, it should place him into a “continuum and coordination of care” system.

Also He’s 65 so should be able to be on MediCARE as his primary health insurance if he is no longer has employer sponsored health insurance. Please please make sure he does the paperwork for enrolling in Medicare ((this is beyond important as if he doesn’t enroll (even if he suspends it as he still has employer coverage) he can have a permanent increase later enrolled fee)).

Long Covid is uncharted territory. I will say this, the “long Covid symptom” Twitter subgroup is good, but tends to be epidemiology & stats heavy. You may want to check it out if you ever have free time (lol). Has lots of folks informed on ME/CFS which seems to be the disease group closest to a match up of long Covid symptoms.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

If this is neurological, hopefully he is seeing a Neurologist. Like said, we still don't know that much about COVID let alone the aftermaths. None of us know, should we vaccine or shouldn't we.

For you, I so hope you are not compromising your back after having surgery. Was you friend working when he got COVID? If so, he maybe able to get short-term disability if he isn't already. Is he collecting SS yet. If not he should. No it won't be 100% but it will be money coming in. See if he qualifies for Social Security disability.

Like said, he may need more help than you can give. Don't feel guilty if you can't do all the caregiving. See if he qualifies for in home Medicaid.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

OP let us all know this person's vaccination status. It makes no sense that covid would be causing neurological issues. But it does make sense that the mrna vaccine could cause them.

My biggest issue is the media blackouts and big tech blackouts when it comes to this vaccine. Anything that goes against the narrative is shut down.

You only have to look at history to see that the government is not exactly on the up and up when it comes to the general population. From small pox contaminated blankets given to the Native Americans to the Tuskegee experiment and countless other examples. Many in the medical community were given a financial incentive to go along with this. It's called a perverse incentive and leads to all kinds of bad things. The truth will come out eventually. It always does.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
Anabanana Aug 2022
Systemic inflammation is not unique to the SARS-Co-2 vaccination nor virus.
(2)
Report
See 1 more reply
For a readable explanation of the relationship between COVID-19 and the symptoms several of you describe, consider nature.com’s article ‘Pathological sequelae of long-haul COVID’.

Research points to a prolonged inflammatory response.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
sp19690 Aug 2022
Maybe the inflammatory response by the body is a secondary component of this bioweapon. This includes the vaccine which is killing people and injuring others. Whatever it is something is truly rotten with the whole thing.
(2)
Report
The Epoch Times has the following article on long covid, and suggestions about what treatments to undertake:

https://www.theepochtimes.com/treating-long-haul-syndrome_4116483.html

DO let me know if you cannot access the article and I can post it here in its entirety.

I also suggest you sign up for the mercola.com website. Dr Andrew Mercola (mercola.com) has been shut down by the mainstream media & villainized to the extent that he's had to privatize his articles and put them on Substack for a small monthly fee to subscribers. His regular articles are free but he takes them down after 36 hours and they go over to Substack. Sad but true, that a doctor who's been practicing for decades and has proven methods for FIGHTING Covid and long Covid is being silenced by the powers that be in our administration right now due to their insistence on 'vaccines' that don't work and wind up injuring or killing a large percentage of our population.

Mercola's view is that the spike protein that comes from the 'vaccines' and from Covid itself is what causes the problems within our bodies. The spike protein continues to replicate over and over and OVER again, continuing to wreak havoc. He has treatment options to get RID of the spike protein in the body once and for all. One thing he recommends is taking probiotics, Vitamin C, D,  glutathione, and NAC. (I have been taking these along with Zinc since 2019 and haven't had Covid at all). I can't remember all the rest of the natural treatments he recommends, but I want to say he uses oxygen treatments and hyperbaric chambers too. I'm not 100% sure though. You'd have to sign up for his website to access that info. DO read the Epoch Times link I included in this post though which has A TON of useful information from non mainstream doctors in it. It also discusses how there are many similarities between long Covid and VACCINE side effects, why? Because both have the spike protein which is what our bodies are REACTING to! But Mercola is the fellow who will tell you how to get RID of the spike protein in the body, once and for all. It's a process. I only wish I'd written all that info down when I first read it. Dang.

If anyone wants to argue or pooh-pooh away what I've written here, don't bother. SOMEWHERE SOMEHOW, we have to find out our OWN answers to what's really happening with Covid and the 'vaccines' which are injuring many of us.

Wishing you the best of luck finding some coherent answers to your friend's issues.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

I am a long hauler. I was vaccinated and boosted. Covid was not bad. It was a headache, night sweats and body ache.

Since I had Covid I have been to many specialists to rule out things. My right arm hurts, tingles and I lose feeling. I can not lift my arm above my head. The sleep doctor said I scream in pain at night.

They are doing a MRI and placed me on a nerve blocker, Gabapatin, I think I spelled it wrong.

I am sorry your friend is going thru this.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Long covid existed before the vaccine rollout. It was said then that many who had the disease felt better after getting the vaccine.

I personally would not trust Mercola given the link below, but to each their own. https://www.businessinsider.com/mercola-doctor-disinformation-dozen-anti-covid-vaccination-2021-7?op=1
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Some research going on here is finding similarities between Long Covid and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (which has been a bit of a mystery for some time). They are hoping that the research might help both!
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Check out "the covid blog dot com" (no space), and you will see many many neurological injuries caused by the COVID vaccines. Blood clots causing pain in limbs which lead to amputation, sudden deaths of young healthy athletes and seemingly healthy people, cancer, etc. See for yourself what the media, big pharms, and government never want you to see.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
MargaretMcKen Aug 2022
Thanks, Polar, I’ve never actually seen a ‘conspiracy’ site before, and it was fascinating. DH was startled by the ‘eat bugs’ comments on nitrogen – perhaps the site owners should stick to the knitting.
(2)
Report
See 3 more replies
As someone who works in public health, it is discouraging to see so many still wrapped up in the disinformation and outright paranoia of everything from the origin of the virus to the vaccines to the nefarious reasons that are supposed to be behind it all. Your friend needs a great deal of help now with physical care and a good rehab program. Joining a clinical trial might be a good option but recovery will, in all likelihood, take a good deal of time. It makes absolute sense that covid is causing neurological problems. Central nervous system damage as well as peripheral nervous system damage combined with immune system mayhem have been well established as effects of the virus. Some recover quickly and some not so much. You are such a fabulous friend to care for this person and his needs but sometimes it is best for other sources to share that responsibility. At the bare minimum in home rehab services sound worth a try. Good luck to you and your friend.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report
lealonnie1 Aug 2022
Surely you are not saying the 'origin' of Covid was a natural occurrence coming from nature? Calling it 'disinformation and outright paranoia'? Let's call it what it is: a biological weapon coming out of the lab in Wuhan China financed in part by the NIH. Public health has taken a HUGE HIT with the public these days. I know of NOBODY who trusts ONE WORD coming from 'public health officials' mouths these days. Not one word. Vaccines in general, which nobody questioned all that much in the past, are now being questioned 100% by everyone. So called pro vaxxers are now anti-vaxxers thanks to the chaos, bedlam and death caused by the Covid 'vaccines' that weren't vaccines at ALL, but touted to BE vaccines by public health officials. Sad state of affairs the ** that has been forced down our throats. From 2020 on, I personally will question EACH & EVERY vaccine coming out including the 'flu shot' which is going to be mRNA in short order, meaning I WILL NOT be getting it! Period.
(2)
Report
See 1 more reply
Go to www.surivorcorp.com and scroll through for resource options and contacts in your area.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
sp19690 Aug 2022
So if you work in public health then you know first hand how the vaccines have negatively impacted some people. Not to mention the CDC finally admitting the vaccine can cause myocarditis and lying about not knowing until now when the alarm had been sounded about myocarditis all along. Which was ignored by the CDC, bought and paid for media and so called health professionals.
(2)
Report
COVID vaccines use the mRNA technology. Here's a link to an interview with the scientist who invented the mRNA and his warning about the C vaccines.

foxnews.com/media/tucker-carlson-mrna-vaccine-inventor
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I got j&j for my first vaccination series. Since then, Novavax has been a approved. It works on exactly the same protein subunit basis as today’s hep b shot for a 2 dose primary series. So there are now two brands of shots that don’t have mRNA tech for those not preferring it.

I will say, though, that the spike protein won’t stay in your Body due to the mrna.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
polarbear Aug 2022
PeggySue, how did you conclude that the spike protein won't stay in the body?

The Japanese health officials collected all the data from Pfizers including data that Pfizer didn't share with the US health officials. They examined Pfizers own data and saw alarming evidence of spike proteins traveling from the injection site to various organs in the body and causing havoc. I will try to find that article again and post a link.
(2)
Report
See 4 more replies
I, for one, will get back to care giving posts. Talking about the C vaccines is almost like talking about politics and religions. It won't change anyone's mind but might cause arguments among caregivers. I'm glad everyone is polite in this thread. Thank you for that.
Helpful Answer (7)
Report

Gaeton, I just wanted to reassure you that you can NOT get polio from the polio vaccine in the United States. If you notice in the article you linked to, it states that the US is only using the killed version of the vaccine. The US DID use the live virus vaccine for a number of years but discontinued that many years ago. The case of the person referenced was a person from overseas who received the live polio virus vaccine and then came to the US. The spread of polio was then initiated to those who were not vaccinated at all. So, there are no worries for anyone receiving the vaccine in the US of getting polio from the vaccine. Could they still have a bad reaction to the vaccine itself? Yes, but it would be a one in a million event. And that reaction would not be of contracting polio.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report
sp19690 Aug 2022
And what happened when people were given the live version if the polio vaccine way back when? Way to skew the facts there were 2 polio vaccines back then. One caused many cases if polio and was even suspected of being the cause of a larger polio outbreak.
(1)
Report
Sp19690, you continue your campaign of disinformation and have now moved in to flat out rude responses territory. It is not at all improper in any way to disclose that you have been part of a medical trial.
The conflict of interest thing is just, well, odd. I'm a caretaker just like I'm supposing you are. No need to respond to me further. You've shown me who you are, and I believe you.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
sp19690 Aug 2022
Judy you were the one that bragged about Novavax without revealing until later you were one of the guinea pigs in their trials.

How exactly do you know you have even been given the actual vaccine? In every scientific experiment there is something called a control group. This way they can do an actual experiment on side effects, plus effectiveness. But with these vaccines it seems science is out the window and they are doing whatever they want.

It's amazing what happens when the fear of lawsuits is removed from the equation.

Healthy children are getting this dye to getting a vaccine that they have less practically zero exchange of dying from. Same with formally healthy middle aged adults.

The lies the medical community are part of is disgusting and disturbing and down right crimminal.

Dying with covid is not the same as dying from covid. But when there is money on the table ethics and morals go out the window.

Not to mention the useful idiots and fools who drank the covid koolaid and think that lying is doing the right thing for the greater good.
(3)
Report
sp19690,

After a clinical trial has been completed, they let the test groups know if they were given the actual medication or a placebo.
I took part in a clinical trial for a smoking cessation program. I was part of the group who received the medication. It did not work well for me and I didn't quit smoking.
When I got Covid bad, I quit then and never touched another cigarette in two years. "Dying with Covid is not the same as dying from Covid". Only Covid can be the deciding factor of whether or not a person does die.
I waited a LONG time to get vaccinated after I was sick. All the health problems I now have, I had before I got vaccinated. It is lasting from the Covid itself.
I can't even believe how ignorant you're being. Did you know that Dr. Salk did not even take a patent on the polio vaccine? He did not become a rich man off that and he could have. Rather he wanted to give this to the world so there woudn't be another FDR who goes swimming one day then is paralyzed the next.
You know lucky you are to be living in a first-world country in a time where you wouldn't have to watch all youe whole family die of smallpox? Or have yourself become crippled from polio? Or die of a common cold that turns into a respiratory infection then graduates to pneumonia because antibiotics weren't invented yet?
Count your blessings, my friend because you have many.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
sp19690 Aug 2022
Most are ignorant about history. But what I wrote about polio is true.

This is what I was talking about if you want to read it.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1383764/

And antibiotics do not work on viruses. They only work on vacterial infection. The flu and covid are viruses.

It has been admitted that most people who went to the hospital during covid were there for something else and were tested for covid. If they tested positive they were considered a covid. That is the truth whether you want to believe it or not. And yes they were considered a covid test if they died at that point. Even if they died from something else.

And you have to realize that covid is not like a normal flu. It is a bio engineered weapon that causes after effects and side effects. Due to the coding in the spike protein. Yes some get these side effects from covid itself and others from the vaccine. I am sure getting the vaccine didn't do you any favors in terms of recovery and side effects.
(3)
Report
Regarding clinical trials, if on 1, you can b “unbound” at any time.

My hubs went on Phase 3 summer 2020 Pfizer random population trials via Oschner & I went on J&J speciality population trial via Tulane Nov 2020; both in New Orleans. Both blind trials: so not told if you got real stuff or a placebo nor did any staff know. We pretty well surmised on our own hubs got the real juice as he had definite side effects after both shots; I had none so mine was a toss up. We both did regular online reporting of overall health, temp, O2%, exposure & in person blood draws. We both mask pretty often. Hubs office building was petri dish of exposures early on…. like every other week some elevators would be shut down for sanitizing… dz's hospitalized that we know well… so he had lots of known exposure filings. Hubs got a whopping $5 a week ACH after he submitted his weekly report; I got zero weekly. Abt $100 to start & $50 when intermittent blood work done. Not abt $.

Both Pfizer & J&J participants could AT ANY TIME request “unbinding” & this is in the consent form. You in writing, like via an email, send request over to local trial staff & in pretty short order get a document to E-sign & within 1-72 hrs get info on vaxx or placebo from the National or regional hub on your trial. It’s a match up of vial #’s, not names.

When 1st run of Pfizer & Moderna mRNAs became readily available 2/21, Hubs got a call from his contact person in trials Dept and in real time, while on the phone w/him did the email and became unbound and yep hub got Pfizer so was fully vaxxed & had been for months. He stayed on the study & getting round 3&4 vaxxes & blood work till this summer.
I had a bit more challenge in getting unbound as J&J wanted you to have an vaxx booked/scheduled & email that to the local staff and they forwarded to national study coordinator to get unbound, yada yada. & back then (seems like soooo sooo long ago now!) it was crazy to get an actual in-writing booking but there were couple of independent pharmacies that DNGAF as to criteria and would book, send a email confirm & do vaxx. I sent email & took like 4 days to get J&J trial statement that I got placebo. I got both Modernas; got a final blood draw & went off J&J trial last year.
Neither of us has had Covid & know this is accurate as the trial blood draws did specific testing (nucleocapsid) & Ig markers for type of Covid antibodies. Hubs mRNA degraded within 5 days of each vaxx and spike protein lasted 4 - 6 weeks. The mRNAs (Pfizer & Moderna) do not in any way change your DNA…. they degrade way too fast to ever do anything like that…. That is pure fear factor nonsense.

Since I vaxxed Moderna & then Pfizer, I’ll never get a J&J call back. Hubs may get a blood draw call 5 years from his first Pfizer vaxx, he’ll go.

Personally if at this point in time if you do not get vaxxed and do not have a documented legit health reason as to why a Covid vaxx is contraindicated, I’d like to see the life & health insurance companies to refuse to do coverage or pay out on policies. You get palliative care in your home, just too bad, so sad. The healthcare system in the US really cannot go thru another surge like what Delta did last year as folks with regular and accidental health care needs had to reschedule or wait or do without as the wards were full of unvaxxed Covid.
Helpful Answer (7)
Report
JudyBlueEyes Aug 2022
Exactly. Novavax did a double blind cross over study in the U.S. (multiple countries were involved with doing trials) so we were all guaranteed to get the vaccine at some point during the study. You could unblind at any time and for any reason.
As a side note, you all are aware that there are people who act as malicious trolls on sites like this for money? The more responses they generate on a particular subject, the more they get paid.
(1)
Report
See 3 more replies
Igloo - I am surprised at you. For any drug, there's always a small percentage of people who will have reverse reactions. Just because one person, you, or many people, or even the majority of people don't have side effects or not yet develop side effects, it does NOT in ANY WAY mean it's "non-sense" when a minority of people of get side effects, sometimes serious, sometimes deadly side effects.

If it was "non-sense" to have a side effects from a minority of people because the majority don't, then the drug companies just have to do the trial test one person, and conclude that the results will apply to the millions, and billions of people. Now, that would be non-sense.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
PeggySue2020 Aug 2022
Hey Polar, I don’t think Igloo said that. I interpret her comments being that severe side effects have been dicumented, but to the extent it affected one in a million persons.
(0)
Report
See 1 more reply
Everyone,
The OP said NOTHING about vaccinations. She said her father had neurological symptoms that showed up after he recovered from the natural disease.

OP, my mil had very similar symptoms that turned out not to have been related to covid at all. She’d been on a med for a rare lung infection, and once discontinued, much of her function returned.

Id suggest you get dad in for a full neuro work up.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
Isthisrealyreal Aug 2022
No she didn't, she said her friend.
(0)
Report
See 1 more reply
Igloo didn't say that adverse reactions were nonsense.

She said that the Tucker Carlson fear-mongering about spike proteins was nonsense.
Helpful Answer (7)
Report
polarbear Aug 2022
Same difference, Barb.

Per Igloo: "The mRNAs (Pfizer & Moderna) do not in any way change your DNA…. they degrade way too fast to ever do anything like that…. That is pure fear factor nonsense."

Igloo said the spike proteins degraded in HIS case. That's ONE case. For a small percentage of people, that is NOT true. Why would it be non-sense to fear something that DOES do serious harm to your body? You don't know if you will be the few and unlucky ones who will be maimed.

Igloo can't say his ONE case must be true for everyone. That is non-sense.
(3)
Report
See 4 more replies
I am going to make a prediction here.

In 10-20 years, the chickens will come home to roost.

"The (COVID) vaccines are safe and effective" will be 100 times worse than "Nicotine is not addictive"

For now, everyone makes the best decision for themselves based on the best information that agrees with them. Be safe. I wish you all well.

I have loved ones that choose to vaccinate. I pray with all my heart that they are in the majority that don't have serious side effects.

I also just found out a cousin, healthy middle age male, developed blood clots in his arm last year. He had so much pain in his arm from the blood clot. He's been in treatment ever since. He's better now, but not back to normal. Yes, he was vaccinated.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Sp, once again you are wrong about an easily verifiable fact that you want to claim expert status on but can't be bothered to look up the actual information. From a barking mosquito to a screaming monkey, you have just proven yourself to be a troll. There are better ways to make a living. We are people who are actually CARING for others. Even in your profile you admit to not being an actual caretaker. We come here to get opinions and advice. These lovely people can give their opinion and then agree to disagree on occasion - no hateful exchanges needed. I value the opinions that are different from mine. I sincerely hope you find your way to some kind of peace in your life.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter