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He is in stage 6 of 7 with Alzheimer’s. I can tell him anything and he’ll forget in ten minutes. My problem is —-when I try to walk him in there is a sign out front that reads, ‘Senior Living’. He’s always lived on his own until a few months ago, I moved him in with me. He only did that because a stare trooper called me and had him take to the hospital because he was shoveling snow at night in the road. I am his only child and POA. He still thinks he can be on his own but he wanders and does not know where he is most of the time. I know after he gets into his little apt at the care center he will acclimate. I just need help with ideas to tell him what we are doing or how to get him in the car to take him there. Any suggestions will be appreciated.

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“Dad, we need to go to a meeting about your insurance coverage. I’ll pick you up on (date) at (time).”

”Let”s go to lunch a week or so from now. I’ll pick you up about (time).”

”I’ve been invited for coffee at a clubhouse over by (?). I’d like you to come too. You might enjoy it”.

Whatever appeals to his interests can be used (with love, and kindly) to get him to a place of comfort and safety.

Is there a back entrance that might have a simple door to walk through?

When you arrive, ask someone to come out to escort both of you in. Once you’re where he needs to be, give him a hug and tell him you’ll see him soon. Then leave.

Ask someone on the staff to let you know when it will be in his best interests to have a visit with you.

He may insist that you take him home. Tell him you’ll see what the doctor thinks.

At first, make your visits briefs, with no extended “good byes”.

What you do for him, with love, will bring you both peace.
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Do you mean you have tried and failed to get him to walk past the sign (which, just to check, does read 'Senior Living' and not 'abandon hope who enters here'?), or that you anticipate this being a problem?

Because I should have thought you could keep him talking and admiring the landscaped gardens and looking forward to a good lunch for long enough to get him that far, couldn't you?
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This is where the white lies come into play.

1. The plumbing in the house has to be fixed and the water is turned off, so we all have to leave the house for the night.

2. We have termites and have to tent the house.

You might have to come up with something that requires him to be gone for the night, not just walking in the door for lunch (which is also a good idea, though).
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You can have him transferred with ambulance care at worst, and with medical transport at best. If this is progressing to an Alzheimer's with no ability to cooperate then he may need to be in Memory care. In the last year my bro's ALF changed a lot of their cottages to be private rooms but memory care in that they had locked doors and better staffing. The cost was between the cost of ALF and MC. That works for some.
This isn't something apparently that will go easy. There isn't always a fix it. Often it just has to GET DONE, and then the adjustments begin and it is a daily thing to see where things stand. I sure wish you the best.
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We placed my 91-yr-old mother in MC just 12 days ago. We told her that her doctor had called and said he was shocked by her appearance on her last visit with him and wanted her to go to this facility for "rehab" to get stronger, eat and gain some weight and have some socialization. We also explained that I (her daughter) lived right down the street and could see her often after restrictions are relaxed.
She does not know where she is or why she is there, but that is the way it was when she was in her own home, too.
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My MIL was steadfast in her refusing to leave her house - it was getting to the point her sons were considering going to court to have a conservator appointed. My husband and SIL found a lovely AL facility for her. Most of us stayed behind at her house and packed up some of her belongings, her granddaughters drove her to the AL facility and stay with her (her granddaughters were her shining stars and she'd do just about anything for them). When her youngest son came over she asked him when she was going home; he told her she was home. It ended up easier than we ever thought it would be.

The facility was really nice and they kept her so busy that she never called any of us to the point her sons began to worry about her. She regularly called each of us multiple times per day with the same question. I was the latecomer in the family and they all felt it was the happiest she'd been since the death of her husband many years earlier.

Good Luck.
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