My mom had home health care before, but I her needs are beyond that now. I had to put her in a skilled nursing home, and I feel guilty. On top of that, I work 3 jobs to make ends meet. My mom is all I have, she's my world. Is there a resource out there that will update me on how my mom is doing in these homes? I know the staff does there best, but I can't call every day, and let's face it - these health and rehabs don't have the bandwidth to personalize everybody's care. What I'm looking for is a resource that will update me on how my mom's doing. I've looked into care managers, but I don't need all their services. I just want someone to check in when I can't to make sure she's comfortable and actually okay in this health and rehab. Especially when I can't visit as often. Any advice?
As a new member that will help us know you, who you are, and how we can help answer any questions.
A phone call daily will help you. And your visits to your loved one are the gold standard.
Adding other agencies and entities is impossibly complicated and not a good thing. There are privacy laws that would stop their being of much use to you at all and this sounds a huge waste of finances for one in your dire straits.
This is a very money-grubbing society, to be honest, in which corporations use our loved ones as cash vending machines. Were such a thing feasible at a decent price it would have long ago existed.
I am so very sorry for where you find yourself but a REAL person to person RELATIONSHIP with the admins and workers where she is --that is her best chance at quality care.
My Mom (98) was both a major fall risk plus late stage dementia due to her fall. I, too, could not visit daily, maybe once a week in the evening. The nursing home would call me anytime my Mom had fallen, no matter what time of day it was (even the middle of the night) was told it was Virginia State law.
As AlvaDeer had mentioned, info on your Mom cannot be given out. This has to do with HIPAA law (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act) regarding privacy. Plus, nursing homes are so very busy, the less calls they need to make, the more time they can spend with the patients. I found that whenever I visited my Mom that I was a good guest, stayed out of the Staff's way, asked caring questions.
And if the facility allows you can perhaps place an inexpensive security camera in her room so you can check on her on your phone when you want as well.
Now I feel I must comment on the fact that you said that your mom is all you have, and that she's your world.
I hope you realize just how very unhealthy that is, and I honestly hope that you have a lot more in your life than just your mom, otherwise you will be in deep trouble when God finally calls her Home.
So please don't put all your eggs in one basket(your mom)but instead get out there and meet new people, join a gym, go to church and start living and enjoying your life.
2. When you call and visit her make certain to "make nice" to the nurses and the front desk attendant. If they know and like you they will share info (without violating HIPPA) like "she had a really good day" or "She's really tired tonight because she did such a good job at PT this morning." It takes some time to establish these relationships but they are worth it.
3. Can you call your mother directly? A phone call, even just for 5 minutes, can give you the reassurance that she ate dinner, is ready for bed, and is watching tv.
My dad was in Assisted Living and the first year he was there I was going on a long trip to Europe and wouldn't be able to visit or even call frequently due to the time difference. I explained this to the Dir. of Nursing and she very nicely would leave me a weekly short voice mail letting me know that he was going to the dining room, was doing well, and to not worry. The important part of the message was to not worry as, really, most of our anxiety over this is just because we feel helpless. So, assume things are good unless you hear otherwise and know that you are doing the best you can for her.