I have noticed every time he calls she moves to another room or the bathroom to talk to him. Today for a strange reason it’s like someone told me to listen in.
I have been taking care of her since she had her lung cancer surgery. I went through hell with this surgery because she had internal bleeding and almost died.
I have done anything to make her feel comfortable.
Now that she feels a little better, she acts like nothing happened.
She has this habit of cooking lots of food and give it to others my brothers or..
I guess my brother was asking how she makes a dish. And immediately she told him I will shop for it and make it myself but “this one” (referring to me) complains about the smell.
Taking care of her throughout her different surgeries, breast cancer, colon cancer, hysterectomy and the last one lung cancer surgery and being referred to as THIS ONE it’s pretty hurtful to me.
By the way this dish is made with sheep’s feet and head and it’s disgusting. The smell is worst. And it needs to cook all night. My bedroom is upstairs and imagine having all that smell travel to the second floor.
She then continued saying who cares it’s not her house I will cook it. I don’t know what my brother told her but she said : And she thinks she is the one taking care of me.
When I heard that it was like someone dropped a bucket of cold water on me.
I have never felt so betrayed in my whole life.
She was talking to him as if I was her enemy.
I have told her time and time again if you’re not happy with me being here just say the word. Don’t talk behind my back and pretend you are the caring parent.
Every time I have confronted her on this she manipulated the situation and at the end she will play the victim.
I am so close to walking out. I can’t believe I cared for her so much and my siblings never done anything to lift a finger ever and I am the bad person and they are the good one.
I am so hurt by this.
If you don’t mind how is your relationship with siblings now?
Wishing you peace and happiness as you move on.
Maybe this guy friend of your mom will help her out willingly and hopefully she will be nice about it.
Main question: When is the move out date? 👍🏼
I too am an only child and unless one has walked this path with an NM, it's quite literally impossible to comprehend the load it truly is. Nobody to talk to; nobody to share the burden with; nobody to bounce ideas off of. It's unbearable really. I say that often. It's the 'nobody to commiserate with' most that I hate. But what I love most about this forum; that we get to share ourselves & our experiences with others who DO get it!
Wishing you a safe & Merry Christmas yourself, dear one.
When you are walking out the door is when you should tell her.
I moved 450 miles from my toxic family and I can recommend it. Close enough to help, if I so choose, yet far enough to not get sucked into all their drama.
Merry Holidays and know that this will get better when you enforce your boundaries and move out.
You can do it!
My mother thinks food=love.
Have you decided to continue to be abused? Are you still going to quit your job at the end of the summer? (Please DO NOT do that!)
You CAN change the situation. Have you decided to start moving towards doing just that?
hug!!
i hope things are improving.
you wrote:
”I can’t believe I cared for her so much and my siblings never done anything to lift a finger ever and I am the bad person and they are the good one.”
——
it’s verrry common.
:(
especially mean mother talking badly about sweet daughter.
if you were a man, she wouldn’t treat you like this.
you’re a woman.
you’re younger.
she’s jealous.
——
mean people feel good when they make other people feel bad.
——
please protect yourself.
make yourself less available.
the abuse never stops. it gets worse.
the abuse will steal your time, energy, motivation…
it’s hard to lead a blossoming life, with mean people dragging you down.
hug!!!
If only these sites had been around years ago. Thank you though for reminding me there are a few of us out there. No one I meet understands - nor will the legal system should that come into play.
Hoping this question poster learns and leaves to save herself.