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After continuing to complain about his dementia behaviors, they started to insist that I hire a one on one 24/7 caregiver to be with him in the facility. I hate to move him considering the fact that he has been there 10 weeks and still has trouble finding his room, but I feel I have no choice. Any suggestions on how to make the move easier? I have found a nicer place. They were shocked, like some of you, at things the old place was saying and doing.

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Just wanted to give you an update: I moved my husband to the nicer facility and he is doing great. It's a wonderful place and no one calls me to complain. They are extremely supportive and helpful. What a difference!
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Llamalover47 Dec 2021
WearyJean: Thank you for your positive update.
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I also moved mom. I thought there would be issues..not a one!! She had lived there 8 months. I pre-set up her new room to look just like the room she moved out of..I visited on my usual schedule. She barely noticed! She LOVES her new place.
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You’ve found a nicer place … great !!!
definitely move him. Be very upfront and clear with them about what you’d expect for your dad.
wandering is such a common thing with dementia…. I can’t believe they would expect one on one … they should definitely be able to handle that !!! If you decide to get him extra care for few hours/day for companionship that’ll be your idea not a MC saying he’s wandering !!!!
ridiculous !!!!
just tell your dad you found a much nicer place with better care !!!
he’ll adjust !!! And be happier than with a bunch of grumpy caregivers!!!
good luck 🍀
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I remember ur previous posts. I think you are making a good decision. As a MC I get the impression they have no idea how to care for Dementia patients. The staff does not seem aware of how to handle certain behaviours that come with Dementia. I may even suggest to the Director that the staff needs training in ALZ and Dementia. If there is a home office, I would write them a letter concerning this MC. Seems they want people who are easy and thats not what MC is.

Its not your Dad his behaviours are normal, its the facility.
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Resident wander all the time in memory care. And if that's what they are putting him out for I would get him out of there asap... And talk with the new place about how the handle wandering residents.
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If you need to move him, I think it would be easier now than after he is settled in. My 95 year old dad moved to MC last February and he is doing very well now. It took a while for him to adjust. It is a smaller facility - around 30 people - and he gets lots of one-on-one. They have come up with some creative ways to manage his dementia behaviors. I was there this weekend. He seems to be all the rage with the ladies but then I'm thinkin' the selection isn't the best at that age! I've never heard of hiring a 24 hour caregiver for someone in memory care. Isn't that what they are supposed to do? I wouldn't see that working where my dad is.
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Do what you need to do. It sounds like the place isn't a good fit for Dad or for you.

Not sure if there's a way to make it easier, so just tell Dad his new place is finally ready and move him.
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This is a symptom of the majority of memory care units not being properly educated on how to handle dementia behaviors. Wandering into other residents room is completely normal behavior. It requires caregivers to be educated on how to properly redirect the resident. Also, if a resident is new, they need more than 2 weeks to adjust to a completely different environment. Your father has not done anything wrong, the facility is wrong. Dementia/alzheimers is a disease in which the only people who can change their behaviors are those without the disease.

The first line of defense for behaviors like these are for the facilities to convince you to put your loved one on an antipsychotic. This will keep them tired and sleeping more so the facility does not need to understand how to care for them. It allows the facility to keep their low staff to resident ratio intact. AARP just successfully sued on this matter as are other states. It is a severe problem. I am glad you are moving him, they would either recommend drugging him or evict him. Anyone out there with a loved one who was put on an antipsychotic in a memory care or has been recommended to put them on an antipsychotic, please read this article.

https://health.usnews.com/health-news/best-nursing-homes/articles/antipsychotic-use-in-nursing-homes
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Myownlife Nov 2021
What an excellent article... thank you for sharing!
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Once dementia sets in, they will have trouble finding their rooms no matter where they are. I have seen that to be true. As far as the move, just do it - it won't change his mind and state of confusion.
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Ridiculous. Why have memory car if u can afford a private sitter?

i ran into a similar situation years ago. It was a Brookdale facility. It was basically an AL with locked doors.
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mh1983 Dec 2021
Brookdale in homewood, AL?
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