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I realize he needed the amount remaining in the acct with acct #, etc., but I was her caregiver per a contract he signed at the lawyer’s office and had bank POA for her bank accts. Now the executor, which I handed over to my brother, wants explanations on all transactions that I made for 3 yrs. It has now been over 3 yrs. since her passing. He got all bank records & is delaying my inheritance of $35,000 on a witch hunt hoping to find “hidden” money even though all was above board. The transactions were done while she was living & I was the bank POA, I don’t believe the bank should have released those records to him after her passing. He thinks things are amiss since he did nothing & has no idea how costly her 24/7 care was. I think he should give us each our $35,000 ASAP or I should take him to court. The cost of responding to his charges through an atty is destroying what I have in the bank. I realize my POA with the bank ended when she passed, but I don’t think I should be interrogated as to what I legally & lovingly did when she was living.

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Oh dear. This sounds like a documentation problem.

When a person acts with power of attorney, that person is accountable for what s/he does with the money. You are being asked to account for what your mother's money was spent on. I'm sure you did act both legally and lovingly, but the trouble is that you have to prove the legally part. Did you keep receipts?
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iameli Oct 2022
I suspect you are right, the OP didn't keep good records so can't provide the accounting requested. From previous answers in this forum, I'm pretty sure that the POA is obligated to keep records and provide them on demand; what I wonder about is whether the executor has standing to demand them. But then, maybe he's trying to respond to questions from the state? In that case he may not have the option to just trust the OP. My husband was his mother's POA before her death and executor after and we kept detailed records and receipts of every penny of her money that was spent.
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I'm sorry for this family discord. You don't really ask a questiion, but seem to be looking for confirmation that you are being "unfairly" harrassed. I'm sorry but PoA is a legal position with defined responsibilities. In a court of law, "ignorance" is not a defense or excuse. You not thinking the bank should have released the records is also just your opinion and not understanding law and accountability. As the legal executor, the bank can and should release the records to him.

What do you want from this forum? We can't tell you something that isn't true. You are in denial about the situation. Consult with an attorney to figure out what your legal options are and how much it will cost.
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Three years is a long time in keeping an estate open. You could petition the probate court judge to have the executor explain why it is taking so long. The executor has a duty to administer her estate properly. If he questions any prior financial irregularities, he is responsible to address these issues. Is this a matter of him questioning large cash withdrawals from the account?
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If I understand correctly, your brother wasn't involved until your mother passed and he became executor (or personal representative as it's known in some states).

That means he had NO legal authority (unless there's something else involved) until the date of her death. So he also has NO authority to demand accounting records for a period for which he was not legally involved.

I don't know if an attorney would want to get involved, but one might perhaps review the situation and DEMAND that he supply legal documentation evidencing his authority to insist on records before he became legally involved.

The attorney who's involved in responding to these demands is unscrupulous and should have told your brother he has NO standing to make demands for a period during which he had no legal authority.

I would in fact see an attorney, raising the issue of suing for frivolous activity (wasting time and assets) collecting data to which he's not entitled. And I'd put the banks and any other entities that are providing data on notice that they should not have and should not be continuing to supply personal and PRIVILEGED DATA.

I think I might also consider asking an attorney how best to address this, and especially any accusations or insinuations of wrongdoing on your part. I also would inquire whether or not there are statutes that allow an executor to question, demand and review data before he became legally involved.

And, if there are still data remaining, I would consider hiring an attorney and whether or not to provide data that might be critical, not just response to a legal fishing expedition. I would also demand information on what's being done with the data supplied, and when the distributions will be made.

Another consideration as you mention is that he's blowing away the assets, diminishing the value of the estate for what could be a personal or frivolous intent. This is not consistent with proper behavior for a fiduciary.

Good luck with this.
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MaddieMae Oct 2022
The POA has a legal obligation to give an annual financial disclosure of the estate to all beneficiaries, so her brother does have a right to this information. If she has done this, then that should satisfy the requirements for the executor of the estate.
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I see this differently than GA. I think the Executor has every right to ask for an accounting. I think he has a responsibility to the beneficiaries to do so. But, it should have been done at the time he took over. I too would wonder why he is doing it now 3 yrs later.

My Moms bank statement was my proof. The money went in the money went out. All her bills were paid by check. If I bought things for her out if pocket, once a month I would write myself a check. I kept all receipts in an envelope and when I wrote that check I put the ck# and amount on the outside of the envelope. I kept all statements from the time I took over her finances even after her death. Especially thru probate if there were any questions from the beneficiaries. Be aware, that these lawyer fees your brother is chalking up come out of the estate. Maybe you can have your lawyer fees reimbursed because you having to acct is part of settling the estate.

Sorry, you should have kept records of some sort. If you hired aides, records of their hours and salary should have been kept track of. If an agency, you wrote checks to them. The bank statements should say it all. You may just need to explain some of the checks.

Even if you did not hand him over the Executorship, he as a beneficiary could have asked the POA for an accounting. That may not have been done until Probate was being closed. At that time, the Executor has to make an accting of the estate at time of death. What bills had to be paid, proceeds from the house, closing costs, lawyer fees, Title agency fees, etc. That accting is sent to each beneficiary and they sign off. This is the time a beneficiary can contest and ask for an accting of the POA.
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As executor, the court gave him an authorizing document to obtain those records so he should have him. However as execuror, all he needed to do is determine present assets and distribute. All you have to do as a co holder of the bank account is to get statements and give it to him...again.
As someone else mentioned, you should check with probate court.
I wonder if he is paying himself with the remains of your inheritance by filing a few hours of his time and collecting. Executors are allowed a certain amount of self payment, but this may be unethical.
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JoAnn29 Sep 2022
Executors get a % of the estate in my State. 4% up to a certain cap. As the Estate gets larger, the % goes down becoming not less than 2%. If the Will would need to state more than the State allows.
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POA expired upon her death. Executor became executor at that time. The executor has the right to all her bank records after her passing because that's what the executor is required to do - gather all assets. The bank would have been required to provide them once he showed the bank certain paperwork. I don't know if he has authority to require you to provide your records in your state, but in Florida when I was personal rep (executor) of an estate, a beneficiary legally requested an accounting from me, the executor, and I was required to provide it. The reason is that a beneficiary might become concerned that an executor is not fulfilling fiduciary duty and thus the beneficiary might not get the inheritance. So why not find out if you as a beneficiary can do that? Put your brother on the target and see what happens.
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GardenArtist Sep 2022
Fawnby, thanks for clarifying what I missed. An executrix, executor or PR would need certain records which should be provided; I was thinking only in terms of demanding specific records which meet a specific agenda. I wasn't very clear in my post.
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One question,
if you brother had no part in your mother’s care or affairs, WHY did you turn the EXECUTOR position over to HIM after her death? You need a “ professional” answer from a lawyer. This is not the correct place for legal advice. Good luck
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Countrymouse Oct 2022
The executor is named by the person who makes the will. The OP had no choice in this matter.
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The Executor had every right to these records. If you have nothing to hide give him the information he needs.
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As long as you spent her money on her own bills and care, and and can show that with receipts, checks, auto payments, etc you have nothing to worry about. I’m not sure why you would need to hire an attorney. He can question if he thinks the payments you made on her behalf were necessary from his point of view, but he wasn’t POA. As long as you spent her money on her care and didn’t do something totally irresponsible (like buying an advanced dementia patient a BMW with her own money or something) he can question why you spent the money, but ultimately can’t really do anything about it if you can show him the receipts. Sit down with your brother and go through the statements and answer his questions. I checked with my father’s attorney when he was diagnosed as to what legally I could do and basically he said as long as you are spending your father’s money on his care and comfort, and not jeopardizing his ability to gain any government benefits (not an issue because my father has assets), you are within your legal authority. I am both POA and executor of my father’s estate and am keeping my brother informed as we move through this disease. He gets input but ultimately it’s my call.
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Monicaj0421 Oct 2022
Everything you said to poor mrI absolutely agree with.
it really isn’t necessary to get a lawyer. If the money was spent on his care and living expenses then you have nothing to worry about. People don’t realize the expenses involved in caring for your parents. It all adds up monthly. The food, medicine, mortgage, utilities etc. Show him your receipts or bank statements.
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I'm not going to weigh in on things I don't really know much about (i.e. Executor), but rather on getting bank records: If you don't have 3 years back (or some smallish no. of years or whatever is required), I'd first of all go to Wells Fargo and get x no. of years back for any/all accounts (checking, savings, "secure" accounts -- the latter some banks advise having for online or small purchases -- in duplicate copies -- or just get one and then make copies). I don't think 3 years back is a lot to ask of a bank. As you were POA for the years you are requesting, there shouldn't be a problem. Then sit down, and go over each month's statements, putting in pencil -- so you can then erase your notes or "x"s in the margins on the original or copy, however you want to work -- and if it's not obvious what went for your mother's care (i.e. healthcare agencies, doctors' bills), you'll have to see what receipts you have. If everything as you say is on the up and up, it doesn't sound like an insurmountable task -- just a bit time-consuming --and you may have already done what I'm recommending, in which case just ignore this. When my last remaining parent died, there was some quibbling about what the estate executor did (and there were 6 living heirs) and there wasn't even that much money involved. (I got my small share, & there were a few nice antiques, including a Tiffany lamp. I was supposed to get one of these antiques, but a sibling contested this. We flipped a coin and I won, but I found the whole thing so Distasteful, I never even went to pick it up. I just stayed out of the whole thing, which wasn't too hard as I lived in a rather distant state. Good Luck!
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You should, as POA have records of expenditures of every penny in and every penny out of your Mom's money. That is something that a POA legally must keep in files. As to whether you would hang on to those files 3 years after death, I guess so if the estate isn't settled. And if the executor has not distributed an estate this small after three years he or she is now in danger legally also, imho. You should see a Trust and Estate attorney now to represent you. Problem here is that an attorney may eat up one half of your inheritance!
You may just need to consider whether or not to even respond to this, as the Executor, if he suspected fraud on your part while being POA, can open proceedings against you if he or she chooses, and that is on THEM.
See an attorney. You honestly need advice, hourly fee for now, on what to do.
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I know, I am dealing with the same thing with my brother. He has delayed things so much that the probate hasn't even started. He wants a full accounting of things before he waives the need for a hearing to appoint me as Executor. This is causing me a great deal of stress and lots of extra money going to attorneys because of him. As it is, I feel as though the attorney is fleecing us. I will never forgive him for what he is doing. My mother died 2 months ago, after I took sole care of her, which was stressful. I am not allowed to grieve her and I have to contend with this money hungry, mean-spirited so called brother.
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If he has the records, I'd say ask him to send the breakdown to you. Then just give him the background on each transaction. That will satisfy you and him and will keep the lawyers out of it. Then hopefully he'll disperse the funds - like others have said...he's already nearing the limit with how long he's taking to wrap this up.
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If you still have access to the account you should be able to pull up each months activities and look at the checks and figure out how money was spent. I had to do this whenever I was guardian and conservator for a relative but I kept very detailed records. It is required.

More than anything it will be time consuming but should not be difficult. If you have withdrawals from her account that you cannot recall the purpose, look at other ways of trying to remember what was going on at that particular time. If you have old texts there may be conversations pertaining to things are needed to spend money on etc.

If I were in your shoes I would sit down with him and go through the line by line. Make him a part of this painstaking process!

Throw in comments like

“Oh yes that’s when I had to buy that XYZ for when she fell and had to go to the ER in the middle of the night….”

” That’s when I had to buy that case of special probiotic drink mix and a LOT if extra adult diapers after she had explosive diarrhea for a week! Whew! I sure got tired of cleaning that up every hour!”

” I think that might be for the massaging/heating pad I had to buy when I was staying with her and injured my back trying to lift her after she fell again.”

You get the idea.
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Since your Mother died 3 years ago and your Brother has yet to start proceedings, i absolutely would see an attorney for advice. One of the duties of the Executor is to promptly settle your Mother’s affairs. Perhaps your attorney can light a fire under him, as well as advise you about your Mother’s bank account. Be sure to ask the attorney about fees the bank is legally allowed to charge for providing copies. Best of luck.
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If you passed executor position to him then are you considering contesting his appointment ? Did the court name his as executor yet ? Is there a will? Are you named for that amount sod money to receive ?
if you have a copy of the will and it isn’t filed in court yet/ if he didn’t open estate yet , then you can open estate. Are you named in will as executor but you turned it over to him?
If you provided care to mom and her finances we for her care then there’s no problem. If he has the past bank records now- then just identify what they are for .
he as executor can’t withhold your inheritance if the will states you get it. Call his attorney who opened the estate for him
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The only issue he should have is - paying outstanding debts through that account. Have your lawyer respond to him.
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Mention to your attorney that the executor did not ask for a full accounting of her last years until 3 years after her passing. There may be a statute of limitations. Do you still have those records and receipts? As executor he is responsible for putting together a statement of all of her estate's assets and distributing them to the beneficiaries as indicated in her will. You could also ask him for an accounting of what was spent during the 3 years after your mother's passing. Hopefully there is enough left in her estate to cover the distributions mentioned in her will.
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PoorMe: Perhaps you should let your attorney handle this. Also, please mention that the executor failed to ask for these records three years ago. Tbh, something seems amiss with your brother waiting three years to pose the query.
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Tell them to pound sand. File a suit to execute distribution of the estate.
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Its been over a week and nor response from the OP.
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I would check with and elder law attorney.
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Is this something that went to and/or remains in probate? If so, then your brother has legal obligations as to time, and how long he has to distribute the funds according to the will. If it is in probate, get in touch with the court right away and make them aware of your objections before he goes any further. If he has an attorney, that attorney works for him and not for your mother's estate. Therefore they are watching for his interests and not making sure that he necessarily is following the law. I would make sure you are aware of the statue of limitations on these things for your state, and make sure everyone is held to them, and unless it states otherwise in the POA, I don't believe you are required to keep financial statements for what you were managing, and I could certainly be wrong on that. Best of luck!
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Contact your lawyer. You should not go fishing in public for the legal advise you need.
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