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My husband has Lewy body dementia with Parkinson’s. He is mean and loud. He has only been in skilled nursing 1 week, but I fear they are going to ask me to remove him as they can’t handle him. They do not want to give him extra sedation, so this is what we get. Where does he go after this? Medicaid will not pay for a dementia facility and I can’t handle him alone. Any suggestions?

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Anti-anxiety meds? Why not extra sedation? Perhaps just a little bit more would be enough to tone him down enough? Of course, don't want to make him totally out of it, but perhaps there is a compromise? Can you talk to the doctor?
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Meds for anxiety aren’t always sedating. Please see if a better plan for helping him to be calmer can be found using the right meds. And good for you in realizing this was too much to handle in a home setting. I wish you both peace
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You don't remove him if they ask you to. Very simple. You do not have to and they cannot throw him to the curb. It is possible they may send him to the hospital though and then claim his bed is taken and not take him back. Then it will be the hospital's problem. Do not take him home no matter what anyone says.
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Be needs to be seen by a geriatric psychatrist for APPROPRIATE meds.
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Has there been a behavioral evaluation done by a professional psychiatrist or psychologist with geriatric experience?

Contact the social worker at his facility and ask them to recommend a professional to perform the testing. We used a psychiatric service that worked in the AL where my LO was living.

A compassionate specialist prescribed gave advice to LO’S caregivers, and changes were made using medications that allowed LO to be more compliant and comfortable.

Your husband’s caregivers may be concerned about “sedation” because of his Parkinson’s, but many medications can be tried in very small doses.

”Mean” is hardly a reason for dismissal, but “loud” can be. Be sure the staff knows that you are working to find a solution.

For yourself, most newly placed residents demand to be taken “home”. You have NO REASON to feel “guilt” and your grief will ease as soon as you find some help with making him comfortable.

Please be sure you’re taking good care of yourself, as well as working to solve your husband’s issues.
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