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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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My mother is in a skilled nursing home right now, she has dememtia but also has a UTI, the paranoia and confusion are really bad right now, although she has some of these symptions even whe she does not have UTI. I am just not sure what to do, her days in the nursing home are almost up, so do I bring her home or try to keep her there?? It is such a hard decision to make.
This is all new to me. I'm really struggling with the paranoia and suspicions. I'm taping her, have cameras, her jewelry is missing, her money is missing, she saw my hubby go in her room, take something from her drawer while I was talking to her, and yet she didn't know what it was. Now, the snippiness is driving me nuts! She is on Aricept and Namenda and and antidepressant! It doesn't seem to be enough. I don't seem to be enough. I'm a mess and can't stop crying. It's not easy to work full time and have all this to deal with. When is enough enough? How do you find the right people to walk you thru this?
Mom speaks her mind negatively which I don't like so I ignore her comments. Play along they said, to me feels like a loosing battle going up a steep hill. I understand she doesn't know the date, day of the week, season or year so I answer her..I really dislike this disease...I too dream of what I would do with a lot of free time..I took mom out for a ride, I think I enjoyed going out as much as she did because I don't go out much..lol life of a caregiver..
Also, when you remove the person from their place of safety, i.e. their home,they can go through a TEMPORARY period of almost total delusion. My mother is 86 and has dementia. She broke her hip and had to have surgery. After the surgery, she went into rehab. Due to some negligence, she wound up back in the hospital and then to a different rehab facility. She was SO whacked out I thought we completely lost her. She was going on about a murderer in the area and would I please walk her back to her apartment because she was afraid. And it got worse. Then, after a week, I went to visit her and she was completely different. Same as she was before. They were doing tests for UTI's, thinking it may have been that. Strangest thing I've ever seen. I've since learned it's actually common.
My mother is convinced I am trying to kill her. This is a recurring theme. She wont eat or drink or take her meds because she thinks they are poisoned. Is this common.
We have a 88 year old mother that is being very bitter, uses bad language and believes someone is putting something on her flowers and lawn since she has sores on her knees, face and arms. She has been to numerous doctors and now is going to the police and sheriff's office causing havoc since she is getting no help. What do we do? HELP!!!
Yes, this can be normal for some types of dementia. It sounds as though you are very smart and understanding. She needs to be seen by her doctor often to keep these medications on track.
My grandmother that I'm caring for has dementia and hallucinations, delusions, and paranoia. I'm guess this can be normal. I know she is on psych meds to help control the symptoms.
My mother and father got married at age 18 and 25 respectively. They have 3 children and am the eldest (now 57, my brod 55 and our youngest sister is 42). My father died last December 26, 2012 (just last year) of complicated ailments like highblood,enlargement of the heart, chronic ulcers, liver, and having dialysis til his death. He was in and out of the different hospitals for the past many years here Tagum City, and Davao City, Philippines where we are living in. My mother was the the one who was with him all the time since my father was so sick...and even in their marriage until the end of my father they were always with each other ...religious..loving and always caring with each other with no quarelling but very minimal and seldom had a silent misunderstanding. They were so prayerful...they pray the Rosary every night ..but during the last year of my father being ill since my father cannot physically manage to go to church my mother also won't go to church because she has to attend personally the needs of my father being so sick. During this last year too of my father...we noticed that my mother no longer believed in prayer..in going to church and also no longer believed in doktors. We noticed her talking to the elecgric fan that someone according to her is that my father is already cured altho not really as well all know...that she was and is talking to herself..murmuring as if talking to someone not really existing. But she still continue to serve whenever my father has something or a need. After the death of my father she always stay in their bed room ..silent...sometimes talking again to herself..facing and talking to the electric fan..and metnioning every day that my father is still alive...she have just a conversation like this morning or last night..and that she saw my father..looking so handsome, pinkish and talked well in English...sometimes she says that my father is just with her sister in New Jersey and that he is still alive...These latest two weeks she put her dresses in two bigger bags and three more smaller bags..and have prepared herself going to her transfer to her house somewhere but cannot say where when I asked her where. In truth and in reality she hS no house of their own with my father before simce ghe house they were staying is ghe house of my younger sister. She said that some friends will be coming and fetch her and accompany her to her house where my father according to her is waiting...and that they are only two to stay in that said house. Every time I heard this from my mother i always feel hurt and pity her because i know very well that all those she telling us are not really true. It was two times last week that she told me to accompany her to the direction of where the house she was telling. Out of my understanding her and sympathy i accompanied her as if I was also helping her trying to find where that house is locTed but there was really based from her description. We went ti find out the second time because the addresses are changing according to her. Because she does not want to herself to be examined by a doctor...i thought of pretending that i will have my own check up and at the same time i requested my daughter, a nurse to have also her check up as in lab test so that it would look like as if the three if us will have to undergo lab test. It was a success because she went readily with us. But then when we went to a psychiatrist...at the same oriented the psychiatrist about the case of my mother and that me and my dauther played the role as if we also going for a check up...after she was checked up by psychiatrist as we went out from the clinic she said i will not have to go to the doctor for another check up because I am not sick she told me and my daughter. She said that the Heavenly Father has cured her already...telling me that she is the original Virign Mary ...that she is the queen and my father is the king. We don't hear this every time during the day but just anytime during the day. My mother can still wash her clothes as she used to do...she used to sew sem of her blouses and pants, cook rice and viand sometimes if she feels like doing these things. But it is always every day that she mentions my father...and always tells me that my father is still alive only he is now with my Aunt (the younger sis of my father in New Jersey). I guess my mother really can not and never forget my father because she is always in their bedroom ..it seems all the corners in this house are every minute reminders of my father to her. The situation here home is it is only my mother, my two nurses children and me are with her. I would be out for work 8am to 5pm and sometimes can be home past 8pm from work. My children would also be out and sometimes it is only my left who is left alone at home till evening. sometimes during weed ends we have her to Malls and have some meals or snacks there as her outlets...but really remain and unwilling to go to church and to the doctor... i had a thought of requesting my brother to get my mother from the Philippines to Canada where my brother is...for a complete change of environement for my mother so as not to always remember my father seeing every minute the corners and everything in here that always remind her of my father. Are the things am doing are good and helpful for my mother? Is the idea of having my mother to be with my brother a help?...if my mother would be in Canada with my brother with his family ... It would be easier and possible for my sister in California to visit my mother in Canada,if ever. If my mother would agree to be there...she would have 5 grown up granchildren to comfort her..unlike here in the Philipines that only me and two grand children with her. I am very sorry for my long story..but while expressing the situation of my mother here...it makes me feel a little comfortable...it so difficult to have no sis and brod near me in the situation like this. Please help me. Thank you so much. Merry Chirstmas everyone.
Get her to a phyciatrist. Medications for all these symptoms is needed. You can also give her a feeling of protection by praying with her or a visit from a minister- you have spoken to and trust. Oh, I know how family will not recognize these problems. I was told that my husband is the exact same person that he was when they were young. This is so common. Total denial. Therefore it is up to you to get all the needed help. A big hug and prayers for you and for her.
My mother has had A-fib and heart failure for 10 years. In that time her memory has deteriorated drastically. An intelligent woman who has taught herself ways to trick people into believing that there is nothing wrong with her. Her intelligence and stubbornness has prevented a diagnosis of dementia or any other memory problems. Recently, she has forgotten who people are and where she lives, having blazing rages and insisting that she goes 'home'. But the worst symptoms are hallucinations, paranoia and delusions. She lives in constant fear of her hallucinations; visual and auditory. She believes there are evil people in her house that are out to get her, hurt her in some way. Resulting in religious effigies and iconography all over the house and a notice above her bed asking in not so polite terms for these evil people to go away and leave her alone. It seems like she is desperately trying to hold on to 'normality' while struggling with fear, fear of everything. Apart from my step father, who is struggling to cope with her illness, I can't get any other family member to acknowledge how ill she is.
I have been caring for my father for 3 years.It has been a very progressive experience.Hallucinations and delusions have changed our relationship drastically.Although his aggression is mostly passive,it is almost overwhelming.He insists on sharing these misperceptions of his environment and becomes argumentative at the slightest hint of disbelief.We continue to seek help from professionals,but he remains adamant about home health care.This is the most concerning series of events I believe I have ever faced.
Well, right now I am torn between wanting him to stay home and seeing if the time has come where he needs more help than I can give.Both ways is scarey.On the other hand, being much younger than my husband makes me feel there is something very wrong with my dieing first. I live day to day with these thoughts. It would be nice to be able to have him home till the end but the doctors are talking with me and helping evaluate. One thing for sure. Have a place selected and be on the list. Then if you are sick you do not do what I did...pull out the IV and go home because nobody could control him. And I still am looking but you MUST have a plan B. God Bless you
The scary part is hoping you can keep your loved one at home until their death. Any advice on how to get that done. It can make you anxious. I really like this site it is very helpful to know we are not alone in this situation..
My husband would lie in bed and talk gibberish to the ceiling. Occasionally, he would yell out in terror or fear without provocation. Sometimes he would cry "help me, help me" but didn't realize that he cried out. He could not identify what bothered or scared him. He also tried to express concerns about some problem from early days in his career. In these cases all that I could do was reassure him that the problems would be taken care of or that everything was OK now. It truly breaks your heart to see the torment that the brain sujects them to and to have no real ability to stop it. Antianxiety meds help, but sometimes are not effective, especially when dealing with the "sundowner syndrome." If it really gets bad, sometimes you have to revert to the "bigger guns" to ease the torment.
That is good advice appleaday...try and divert the person to another topic, switch conversation or introduce something interesting, but arguing with dementia never works for me. There is just no way to make a person with dementia see things your way. The ability to reason seems to simply not be there anymore.
I can certainly relate; my father has dementia with paranoia. He often thinks that we steal things and keeps changing the locks on his doors because he looses or can't remember where the keys are. He has had delusions of all kinds of things too. Just remember that it never works to argue with a paranoid person, it only makes them angry and more mistrustful. Best of luck to you!
It has been pretty common with my grandmother. She has dementia from stroke and really sluggish bloodflow from a hugely damaged heart. I believe her heart works at only 25-30% capacity at the present time.
Gran gets excited and worried really quick. Her nerves can be shot by watching the news, impending bad weather reports, or by seeing strangers walking in the street. She fears men walking through the house and people trying to get into her room when there is no one there. She also sees people that have already passed into greater glory which either is a hallucination or a really vivid dream.
It doesn't take much for her to become excited and nervous so we try and keep her exposure to negative news stories to a minimum. She can very easily internalize this information and she can become fearful.
One other thing I have noticed is she can't remember where she puts things, or drops things between cushions etc...when this happens I don't think she wants to believe that she is forgetful, or has become part of the problem. I sometimes wonder if it is just easier to blame someone else when things turn up missing or misplaced so often.
With some types of dementia, yes. Paranoia is very common with Alzheimer's and some other dementias. Sometimes, anti-anxiety medications can help. I'd talk with the doctor to see if there's anything he or she can do. However, much of it we caregivers have to weather, and it's difficult. That I, and others on this forum, know first hand. Take care, Carol
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You, as a grandchild, may want to read the following article:
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/grandchildren-caring-for-their-grandparents-149490.htm
Take care,
Carol
Oh, I know how family will not recognize these problems. I was told that my husband is the exact same person that he was when they were young. This is so common. Total denial. Therefore it is up to you to get all the needed help. A big hug and prayers for you and for her.
It seems like she is desperately trying to hold on to 'normality' while struggling with fear, fear of everything.
Apart from my step father, who is struggling to cope with her illness, I can't get any other family member to acknowledge how ill she is.
are talking with me and helping evaluate. One thing for sure. Have a place selected and be on the list. Then if you are sick you do not do what I did...pull out the IV and go home because nobody could control him. And I still am looking but you MUST have a plan B. God Bless you
Any advice on how to get that done. It can make you anxious. I really like this site it is very helpful to know we are not alone in this situation..
Just remember that it never works to argue with a paranoid person, it only makes them angry and more mistrustful. Best of luck to you!
Gran gets excited and worried really quick. Her nerves can be shot by watching the news, impending bad weather reports, or by seeing strangers walking in the street. She fears men walking through the house and people trying to get into her room when there is no one there. She also sees people that have already passed into greater glory which either is a hallucination or a really vivid dream.
It doesn't take much for her to become excited and nervous so we try and keep her exposure to negative news stories to a minimum. She can very easily internalize this information and she can become fearful.
One other thing I have noticed is she can't remember where she puts things, or drops things between cushions etc...when this happens I don't think she wants to believe that she is forgetful, or has become part of the problem. I sometimes wonder if it is just easier to blame someone else when things turn up missing or misplaced so often.
/hugs to you!
Take care,
Carol