My name is Joshua. I'm 20. I work part-time and live with parents. I found this site by chance and signed up to ask this: is it elder abuse to NOT provide the elder with a cellphone ? Now currently, he does have one, but he can only call 911 in case of emergency. But that's not good enough for the elder, he wanted me to buy a brand new phone. I said no. Had the cops called on me about 5 times. Out of two visits, I've been threatened with elder abuse if I don't provide the elder a phone with access besides the 911 number. Are the cops in the right? Because I'm tired of being threatened by both them AND the elder about this phone business. I'm very, very tired.
Cover your own behind by getting him the burner phone. Then just sit back while the police wear a path to your door.
Is Josh the Elder’s Caregiver? If he is, why is a 20 year old caregiving and financially responsible for the Elder?
Am I missing something here?
I'm sure you are thinking, "Might as well that that new cell phone," but as you've guessed earlier, there is more to the story.
The only reason he has that one phone that only calls 911 is because a nicer cop had told us that was good enough, least he had something in case of an emergency. I'm burned out, if I miss anything, feel free to let me know and I'll gladly clarify.
I live in California, and your situation may be seen as preventing your father from having the ability to communicate with others at his own will. This would be considered socially isolating your father and yes, this is seen as a form of elder abuse.
If it were me, I'd make the situation clear to the cops, 911, etc. and tell them to control Dad. Good luck there... Seems there is really no clear path to follow legally to deal with this. So I'd make it clear that he had not been declared incompetent, had rights, and therefore they should deal direct with him, and leave me out of it, since I have in fact no enforcement power. If it were a question of false accusations I would act to protect myself - talk to a lawyer, Area Agency on Aging or similar and all else failing, finally separate myself from Dad so that no accusations could be made. Accusations are very serious business. I don't think the family is trying to isolate Dad, just protect him from himself.
You call this man Dad. Is he your father or Grandfather. Has his illness effected his ability to make informed decisions? Does Mom have POA?
Is he living with u or him with you?
I would start with Office of Aging. Approach the situation that with you both working you are not able to give or afford the care he needs.
You could get a prepaid new cell phone that way no cell phone bill and no contact and if possible one that is simple (no apps).
I wouldn't think this would fall under elderly abuse. But I don't know if there are details missing or something.
Good luck
In Arizona repeated calls to 911 for no emergency reason can get you charged with wasting public resources and it is pretty serious.
If your dad is abusive, and threatening you and mom because he didn't get his way, is abuse. May be time to get him placed in a facility.
You are a good man to be helping your mom with this difficult situation. My hats off to you.
Just be sure and try to not give him all of your young life, many people feel entitled to be the center of the universe at everyone's expense, encourage your mom to get him help or placement. No one deserves to live with abuse. Between her and you, you can change this situation and not have to deal with a tyrant.
Let us know what you get figured out.
Hugs 2 u and mom for not throwing him to the curb.
Point is, my Dad is never home alone. The only time he's alone is when my mom drives me to work or to my doctor, because I don't have a driver's license as of yet. With the latter, he would only be alone for an hour plus some minutes. And we always tell him when we go out.
Has Dad always been depressed and been abusive? If this is the case there is little chance he will change now especially since MS is a progressive disease.
If he had not picked on needing an expensive cell phone as something to demand it would have been something else.
Of course he does not need it. He can perfectly well communicate with a simple flip phone if he wants to talk to people.
I would have thought a cheap laptop would have suited his needs better.
It does not matter who paid for the original phone, you can pick them up for a few $s and reload the minutes. I use a well advertised senior plan than costs me total $21 a month with unlimited calls.
Is Dad calling you and/or Mom at work and causing problems? I am not quite sure what the issue is. You can certainly turn off your phones when you are working.
Did one of you just get an expensive I phone and he feels entitled too? Well he is if that is the case he has income comming into the house too.
I totally understand that the two of you have had enough of this abuse and just want to walk away but you do have responsibility to someone who is totally unable to care for themselves.
Clearly you are doing the best you can and he is not making it easier being totally helpless in bed . I know you have to work but it is definitely not safe to leave a helpless person of any age alone for any length of time. What happens if there is a fire.
Don't delay get in touch with any social service that could possibly help. His Dr. Eldercare in your county, Catholic Charities, the VA if he was a veteran anyone you can think of. If they can't help they may know who can. Get on the Internetand look for any MS resources. This is going to take work to get your Dad into a situation where he will be properly looked after.
Just moving out is not an option. Keep that in mind.