Dad has lived with us for about 6 months now; when he first moved in, I wouldn't have dreamed of leaving him alone. But now that's he's more acquainted with our home, he's been urging my husband and I to go to lunch by ourselves, take a walk or run brief errands without him.
Thankfully, we have open conversations about his care and memory issues and I've told him I'm not even sure I legally CAN leave him alone. He was deemed incapacitated by his neurologist, due to a failed memory test.. he usually has minimal confusion during the day, but at night it gets rough with his sundowners. I make his meals, administer meds and assist with toileting only when he's having stomach issues. He walks with a cane, but has not fallen in my care.
Are there any legalities where leaving him alone is concerned? I've not done it yet, but he continues to press the issue.
Can he make rational, competent decisions in most cases?
Is there a potential that he would hurt himself if he were left alone?
This is like asking if you can leave your child home alone.
a 4 year old, not under any circumstances.
a 10 year old, possibly depending on how long you will be gone and how responsible they are. Responsible and left alone for an hour or two, not a problem but not an entire day.
You know the level of direction your child needs, same with an adult with dementia.
You read many posts here where an elderly parent is living alone. While not a great idea but it does happen.
Use your best judgement. If something in your gut says it is a bad idea, listen to your gut.
Try an hour of shopping and see what happens.
Then try a lunch.
Know what you're in for and educate yourself on the subject here:
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
That 33 page booklet is a good start, and The 36 Hour Day is another good reference book to read and keep handy.
I would check the elder laws in your state about what constitutes neglect, or contact an Elder Care attorney for clarity on that subject, just to be sure. The elder will always 'tell you' he's fine and doesn't need any help at all! That's the nature of dementia, and denial that anything is wrong to begin with. They often think they're capable of WAY more than they actually ARE; that's where the trouble starts, too.
Wishing you the best of luck with everything you've taken on.