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Lordy... I'm spending a fortune on food these days. She is always hungry and eating something. This morning she had two yogurts with blueberries, two bowls of cottage cheese and now says she wants lunch. I am spending roughly $175 a week on food and I barely get any of it. Every time I even have a cracker or munch on something she says, "What are you eating, can I have some?" Any ideas?

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Hi Roger, you reminded me of the times, id hide in my bathroom to eat alone, because I had 4 small always hungry boys.

Like we have talked about , they really do slowly turn into are kids, and then are babies. We go out of this world like we came in, I guess is true.

Anyways, what if you give her a really big meal and fill her up, does she still want more? I was thinking of things for breakfast that stick to the gut better. Like oatmeal, if she likes sweets you can sweetin it up with sugar and fruit. Beans and lentils stick with you too. Baked beans maybe.

I've been noticing my mom is putting on a little, and eating a lot. And she has always been thin, so I'm curious what others will say.
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Rogerwyatt7890 May 16, 2024
Yes I give her full meals three times a day but she wants to eat all day and all the time. I wonder if it is boredom?? I am also hiding stuff now LOL. Out of sight, out of mind. I try to give her healthy stuff like fish, asparagus, potatoes, etc. but it is during the daytime that she thinks she has to eat all the time. I was under the impression that dementia patients eating habits slowed down during this process especially in the end stages.
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Ms. Roger, why is it you that's spending a fortune on food for your mother, when it should be HER money spent on her own groceries and then it shouldn't matter how much she's eating as it's her money?
Your mother could just be bored. Have you tried finding activities to keep her mind busy(coloring, making puzzles, playing cards etc.)so she won't be thinking about food?
Just some food for thought(pun intended.)
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Rogerwyatt7890 May 16, 2024
I'm spending my money because she hardly has enough to even cover her utilities, etc. I think I will stop though and just tell her when the food is gone, it is gone. She has no idea how expensive food is now. She is also very picky and will only eat certain things ARGGGGG. Yes she plays sudoku (SP?) and has all kinds of crossword puzzles and stuff to do. She never wants to go anywhere anymore because she states she is in too much pain. I'm so tired.
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Wishing you all the best. Caregiving is challenging.

I had the opposite problem with my mom. She was a nibbler. She took a few bites here and there. She was never a big eater and lost her appetite further as she aged.

I am curious as to why you are buying all of the food. Your mom should be spending money for groceries.
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Rogerwyatt7890 May 16, 2024
Mom hardly has any money left. She spent almost all of Dad's retirement money on I have no idea what. What little she has left will have to cover a couple of months in a facility until the house sells. I'm trying to make that stretch. I'm ok with buying groceries as I eat too but if she keeps eating like this I don't know. I'm trying not to get frustrated over it but when I buy 175 worth of good and two or three days later most of it is gone -- yes it frustrates me.
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Roger, why are you buying your Mom's food?
Your mother needs to contribute to the shopping as she would were you not there.
As to the other, when, where and what she cares to eat, that's entirely her own business unless she's terribly overweight. She has very few choices left in her life, and this is one that should be her own business.
It sounds as though you are becoming enmeshed. I think it is quite important that you find placement ASAP and this has just become sort of one complaint after the other.
Too much togetherness is never a good idea for ANY two people.
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funkygrandma59 May 16, 2024
Amen!!!
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Id say the best idea is a food pantry . Was the best idea and your best option.

I have friends that go, and they truly are great. So much better than when we were younger, no one looks down on you. Some people go that don't need to, which is wrong but a lot of the food is going to be thrown away. I was at Hannaford one day and the bakery had a cart full of stuff, I was looking in it and they said it was for the food pantry. My thoughts where, I wanna go to the food pantry.

Good luck with all that roger

Also what about meals on wheels for your mom.
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Rogerwyatt7890 May 16, 2024
Good idea. We have what is called a food bank - not pantry. I will try that. Every little bit helps.
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This is just a comment, but I’ve recently been exposed to two different issues about over-eating, which I (at least) find interesting.

One issue is that people who snack between meals have a lot more trouble avoiding over-eating and getting fat. I was brought up on ‘meals only’, and I never snack, no biscuits, no sugary drinks. ‘Snacks’ are also usually expensive high-calorie purchases, less normally home cooked, so that’s another problem. I’ve been startled to see people picking up kids from school, and immediately giving them packets of junk food to eat in the car. A lock on the fridge might help? No biscuits in the cupboard?

The other issue is that traditional Aboriginal people in the Australian center are reputed to have had a modified anatomical ability to consume quite large quantities of food and water when it was available, and go without for several days when it wasn’t there. You don't get three meals a day when you are walking across a desert! There’s a description of two men cooking and eating a kangaroo at a sitting (about like eating a whole fully grown sheep), and of explorers’ parties in camps having to guard the water store to make sure it could last for everyone. The body doesn't say 'stop'. Today most older women particularly are well over-weight as a result.

It might be interesting to find out how your mother was brought up, not just about what to eat, but also when to eat. It might be part of her problem.
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Anxietynacy May 16, 2024
Honestly, I'm a grazer. I feel like I eat all the time, it seems like I'm always chewing on something. I'm 5'5 130 for the last ten years.

I've wondered if it's better to graze, like I do. Not sure, maybe it's just my metabolism
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Roger,

Everyone is watching their budget these days.

I will share some of my favorite recipe sites with you. Look them over and you might see something that you want to cook. They are all geared for making good food while spending less.

budgetbytes.com

thefrugalchef.com

frugalnutrition.com

cleananddelicious.com

spendwithpennies.com
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Rogerwyatt7890 May 16, 2024
Thank you so much.
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I’d bet she’s more bored than hungry. Many eat out of boredom or habit than hunger. Just my guess
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Roger,

I found it interesting that my mom really wasn’t very hungry. She would say that she only ate food because it was required to live. She didn’t have much of an appetite.

She needed to gain weight and her doctor would tell her to eat as much ice cream as she wanted to.

Others live to eat. They enjoy food. They relish every bite they take. Has your mom always enjoyed eating?

Some people eat when they are bored, angry, upset, depressed, stressed, happy or to celebrate something, etc. It’s often referred to as emotional eating.

As a side note, if you would like to vent on the forum, without making a post of your own on the forum, you can vent at, My “whine moment today.” What’s yours?

It’s in the Discussion section of this forum. Do a search for it. The thread has been going on since 2014 and over 30,000 comments. People are always venting on this thread about all sorts of topics.

As you know, if you post your own thread, you are going to open the door up for everyone to respond.

Some you will appreciate. Others you may not. I am sure that you realize that it’s impossible for everyone to agree on all things.

One thing that I always told my children when they complained about a teacher that they didn’t like was that they didn’t have to like her to learn from her.

If they had a legitimate reason not to like her, then I investigated further.

Otherwise, I felt that they needed to learn how to manage in a world filled with many different personalities.

We don’t all have to agree with each other all of the time. I certainly don’t expect everyone to agree with me on everything and I know that I won’t agree with everyone else on everything. It takes all kinds of people to make the world go round, right?
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Are you looking into placing mom? Is her house on the market yet? Or maybe you're working on both these things?

Kudos for feeding mom good food! I agree that the money you are spending is crazy high! So is her only money tied up in the house? If there's anything else, cash it in and spend it on the food and other household bills. You should basically be spending next to nothing while caring for her, IMHO.

Can you distract her to keep busy with things other than eating? Go for a walk or a drive or something? Try to get her to drink more to fill her belly - water or coffee/tea, not sugary stuff. Sometimes people can mistake thirst for hunger. My mom is horrible at drinking so I know this can be really hard.

Household chores, even if they're of the "make work" variety. Cutting veggies. Folding (and refolding) towels. Sorting something. Gotta find something to keep her hands busy!

Good luck!
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This from the internet:
41.9%
According to 2 sources


"Based on data collected between 2017 and 2020, 41.9% of adults in the U.S. have obesity.
Obesity Statistics In 2024 – …
forbes.com
Percent of adults age 20 and older with obesity: 41.9% (2017-March 2020) Source: National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey 2017-March 2020 Prepandemic Data Files".

Given that over 40% are obese (at least according to this study), the answer to your question "Is it normal to overeat" is likely that it is perhaps becoming more normal. Happily you tell us your Mom isn't overweight. Sounds like she's been doing something RIGHT, then.
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The truth is, most people confuse thirst and hunger, often mistaking the former for the latter. Clinical studies have shown that 37% of people mistake thirst for hunger because thirst signals can be weak, especially as we age. Try offering her a drink other than tea or coffee which are diuretics and may cause dehydration.
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Many people with dementia "forget" they have eaten or the flip side they think they did eat.
Rather than 3 meals break the meals into many smaller ones.
for example for breakfast if there is juice, cereal and maybe a fruit break that into cereal first with the juice. An hour later some fruit. A few hours later you can start with a portion of yogurt then an hour or two later a sandwich then mid way between lunch and dinner some fruit.
Always in between fluids.
I am not one to say water is the only fluid you should push.
If you can't get someone to drink 16 ounces of water but they will happily drink 16 ounces of Iced Tea I think that is a win in my book. Same with juice. but since juice and ice tea are usually higher in sugar dilute them a bit and you can dilute them a bit more each time so the flavor is there. Back off on diluting when they no longer drink it.

Leave out items that could be a "free food"
Lots of fruit, arranged in a basket or bowl.

As for snacking make it a process.
Before you eat Wash your hands, get a plate or a bowl, a glass of water or other drink and sit down at the table. All this so it is not "mindless" eating.
And you sitting down watching, talking and slowing her down also does one other important thing.
You observe if she is :
pocketing food,
not chewing well
choking
These three things happen and they show a decline and getting to the point where choking, aspiration may happen and that can lead to many complications.
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If Mom has Dementia, her brain may not be telling her stomach its full. I like the smaller meal thing. You are in charge of what she eats now. Hide the food if u have to. You can determine if she gets enough calories or not. If she is losing weight, shevneeds more. If she is gaining, she needs less.
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AlvaDeer May 17, 2024
eliminated. Repeat post.
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