We have been taking care of my father-in-law (96+2) for 4+ years. His health problems and dementia have made it difficult to have friends, since it's not possible to leave him on his own for any length of time. (Spoiler alert) His daughter lives on our property but is not willing to take care of him. I can't talk to her, and I hate to burden my husband over and over.
Your Area Agency on Aging (look it up on Google) will be good for practical ideas.
Is there something specific you need to get off your chest right now?
I understand that you don't want to burden your husband with problems he can't solve. But. This particular problem a) can be solved; and b) is for him and his sister to solve, more than it is for you.
Were you properly consulted before the family moved your FIL into your home and handed you responsibility for his care? Even if you happily volunteered and were glad to take on the role, though, it is FINE to recognise that it is becoming too much, and to start a conversation about a new plan. Have you tried any tiny moves towards doing that?
If you are already burnt out, dial the suicide hotline who will talk with you whether or not you are suicidal, and may refer you for personal help. You can also dial 211 for community referals.
If things are at a dangerous level for you, the caregiver, or for your FIL, call APS on your way out (stating he will be alone) as you go to the nearest Emergency Department for help. It may help to pack a mini-go bag (overnight bag) with your toothbrush, meds, water for 24 hours, clothes....
Then, talk to us here. It is anonymous, many caregivers have cared for their FIL. and it may help you to vent anonymously. Do you have any specific questions today?
Thank you for the info.
Your posts will be answered ASAP.
Check churches and senior facilities near you. I attended a group meeting that was held by my mom's daycare facility.