I'm not a medical professional but it's clear that my mother's headed down that path. She gets very angry if anyone, in any way, suggests she might be elderly. The couple times I have suggested maybe she might not be acting rationally or that it would be good to plan for aging she gets very, very agitated and is in complete denial, "I am not old." "I am not crazy!" "I am not losing my mind!" "I do not forget things!" She lives with my dad who is more friendly but has always been utterly passive and is now disabled with memory issues of his own.
Is there any point to getting her to a psychiatrist or neurologist for a dementia diagnosis? She will be very, very angry at both the doctor and me. Already there is a total lack of trust when it comes to family, though she is all too happy to trust friendly strangers and keeps falling for scams, so it's not like I'd be losing that.
Years of arguments questioning mom's behavior prompted me to get her assessed (it's how they hide the symptoms, I've read). She hid it so well, I thought it was dementia, until it suddenly accelerated. Now that I know, I take her comments and outbursts less personally and my side of conversations take an easier path to avoid some of the conflict. It's hard "knowing", but she is actually a little calmer now; so am I. She's late stage now, . . . just a waiting game at this point.
It may also be a step towards getting the legal authority you may need to protect and support both of your parents in future. Go for it. You've nothing to lose.
Is she getting any medical care now? Her regular doctor should be noticing the symptoms and giving advice on her mental state.
Does she have other physical problems that she is in denial about?
She may be hiding those as well in an effort to not appear to be “old. “
Everyone should be seeing a doctor for checkups.
Good luck.
Charlotte
That info could be used to explain a person's behavior and enable the doctor to know what medication might help. Some conditions are not amenable to medications for dementia and you wouldn't want to have those conditions and take the wrong med.
Also, with dementia, the patient may qualify for certain programs, facilities or other services, that a person without dementia wouldn't.
The information would help with the courts if the patient is living alone and unsafely. It could help convince the court to appoint them a guardian.
And, it's good to know the cause for sure, because the patient may have a vitamin deficiency, UTI, brain tumor or pressure, or some other condition that could be treated. That's why I took my LO to her primary and then to a neurologist. I wanted to rule out things like brain tumors.
I would let the fact that your LO might get upset dissuade you. Sometimes, they have to be taken care of, even if they are not on board with it. Especially, if she is the caretaker of her husband, who has more advanced dementia. I'd see to it that he is safe as well.
Mom had the assessment...was furious with the results for about a week or so, and then forgot about the whole thing. I had a detailed report with official diagnosis that helped with placement to a memory care assisted living community as well as future medical appointments. In the past 2 months shd has had falls, pneumonia, and a broken shoulder. She is too risky for assisted living and is now in a well staffed, new skilled nursing community where the food is wonderful and she will receive physical, speech, and occupational therapies.
A competent screening exam and some more-than-routine bloodwork would go a long way toward finding out if this is treatable or permanent.
Your situation is a bit different. Good luck. It’s not easy.
Mom needs a full check up. Its probably a Dementia but could be other things too. A UTI, she could be diabetic, etc.
I debated this one a while and was surprised when it came down to the cognitive impairment results. She was able to act/carry on quite well but come to find out she also thought it was 1990 something and there were some other areas I was unaware of. She was able to hide quite a bit. The results prepared me for what was coming/advancing and made me realize legally it was necessary as well.
My Mom had NOT SEEN HER DR FOR OVER A YEAR when I went home. I had talked to Dr's nurse assistant about this. This test was done and when her Dr came into the exam room (had to tell step-sister to get out) he told Mom she only had 5 marbles left and if she loses 1 more he would place her in a nursing home. Talk about getting pissed, sailor mouth!! He told me afterward that she only had 1 card left 1. She will not make it to her appointment in July 2. 1 more hospital stay, she goes into a home.
SHOCKER TO ME 3) get a letter explaining all of her mental/physical in incapabilities. My siblings had not told me about any of this, but they dumped it on my one day in March! I have worked my butt off and extremely stressed over this and crap Step-siblings are causing that I haven't had time to discuss with my therapist, I have extreme fibromyalgia and depression. Mom has become 1st in my life even though I live out of State. I'm her Guardian/Conservator so I am required to see her once a month, I'm happy to do that and take care of their finances. Mom used that last card and step-father has Alzheimer's with dementia so I had to place both in assisted living group home.
Shuck it up Buttercup (just to help you smile) and get things rolling as it's going to get worse. This is the easiest part.
That fibromyalgia is something awful, my step MIL had it - I'm amazed you could do so much!
Although many will find fault in my thinking, it’s best to get to the “root” of the problem and todays doctors are definitely not the answer as they have no knowledge in nutrition. Poor nutrition is the number one cause of any disease.
Vitamin deficiencies can cause a whole host of unwanted illnesses. Low-fat no fat diets wreck havoc on the aging brain. The brain needs fat to function! Good wholesome grass fed fats and butter.
Many seniors today have serious vitamin D , B and magnesium deficiencies which lead to a whole host of problems.
Also check on what medications she is taking, statin and antidepressants have devastating side effects and rob those who take them of their mind and memory.
If it were me I get a full blood panel to rule out any deficiencies and then get her on a clean organic eating plan with clean filtered water without fluoride. Then supplement with food based vitamins for those she is lacking. And then wean her of all pharmaceuticals.
Just because someone is older does not mean they are losing their mind, stop pigeon holing seniors. Instead try helping them with, love, kindness, compassion and most of all good nutrition!
In the long run it’s much cheaper, without side effects and wasted time in doctors offices.
Too many families today would just rather put their parents away, so to speak or drug them into oblivion to solve their problems the easy way, which to me is pure selfishness. They need to remember they too will be older some day.
The goal of the test is not to “diagnose a problem” but to provide treatments to help the symptoms that are problematic.
For my mom, she doesn't accept the diagnosis anyway. So, it would probably be helpful for you to get a diagnosis, so that meds could be started. Your mom may never be convinced she has a problem. I have a problem getting my mom to go to the doctor now because she tells me they are 'just going to make up something about me and put me on more medicine".
This is a completely frustrating condition that makes ME and MOM both feel crazy. I wish you good luck!
These illnesses were known as just what happens when one gets old. These illnesses have been around for centuries. One is either wired or they're not.
With my Mom, hers is caused by Diabetes. Why? The brain is the last organ diabetes is able to attack. It's slow and Drs check it off to be something else until it has taken over. I look at it like I have a disability that no one can see, but it is still a disability.
Get the diagnosis because you're going to need it later if you have to go to Court to become Guardian/conservator. Start getting your ducks in a row. Would you rather have the control of care or let it get to the point that the Dr makes the decision?
Been there, am there and it is very hard to face and act upon the decisions that need to be made.