I did wish dad was closer so he could be seen more by family. Dad’s siblings also wanted the same. So they decided to ask the sibling that signed him in the other nursing home if she would be open to a closer nursing home. My sibling agreed that after discharge from hospital, we (not sure who we are) could have him transferred.
But the kicker came, when one of dad’s sisters said, you and your sister need to establish some type of relationship. So now I’m upset. What does that even mean? Does that mean, if dad gets transferred here (because the okay was given) I owe my sister a relationship. Does that mean, I should be the one reaching out?
I tried every suggestion from here to ease the tension between my sibling and I long ago (last year included) and they let it be known, they were not interested and continue to spew hate. Hasn’t tried to make contact with me once not even to let me know when dad fell in the nursing home a day before father’s day.
I have papers to apply for guardianship but it seems to be an expectation laying somewhere and I need my eyes open. I don’t mind if siblings call and ask how dad is doing but me going out of my way is a different story.
Everyone here has always been so helpful. Do you feel an expectation is hidden somewhere? Any other thoughts on anything I typed here.
I would encourage you to be very very certain that you want guardianship. It is a big job with lots of legal repercussions if you are not into meticulous record keeping and lots of running around making arrangement with everyone from the Doctor to the Phone Co.
Dealing with our elders is hard enough without someone using it as an opportunity to try to force you to do things. Stand up for yourself. These issues are totally separate and need to remain so.
Sister always said she had poa but never was willing to let me see. Just called the shots. She signed dad in the nursing home. I got the memo after the fact. But at least with him in nursing home, I got to visit in peace.
Auntie is upsetting me and I’ve told her so several times including today. I’m over the sister relationship but know how to be civil. Maybe auntie intentions are good or she feels it her Christian duty. However, it makes me furious. It’s like what do you want me to do – I will not bow or try to amend anymore.
On to dad. He has been unhappy in the current nursing home. So I’ve been curious about other placement – another nursing home or in a home in my neighborhood with help other than just my family. Not sure about another nursing home because here is what I’m seeing while he is in a hospital in my area due to the fracture - he is eating, talking, smiling, and not panicking.
So with sister agreeing all of a sudden, it seems unreal or to be a catch. Ask one time and suddenly in agreement. Wondering if it is due to the happening surrounding the fracture.
AlvaDeer
I would love to continue helping care for dad one way or the other without court involvement. I have experience with record keeping and the other parts involved you suggest. Disabled spouse, both parents, and working in case management, customer service, and other office settings! But I suspect much more involved according to what I’ve read over the years here. Believe me I would much prefer to use the money in caring for dad.
But that's what I was gathering from the conversation. Auntie is trying to tangle the two issues together but they can't.