Mom is 91 and lives by herself (well, and her dog). She has a cleaning lady twice a month and someone who helps her with groceries. She pays for them which runs about $400 a month. I pay for a dog walker to come 3 times a week (also serves to have eyes on mom). Additionally, we are lucky to have family, friends, and neighbors that generously visit with her and drive her to doctor's appointments. I am her only daughter and live 1,800 miles away. I estimate I spend about $10,000 a year on her and her household: internet, cell phone, life line, dog walking, landscaping, plane tickets, geriatric safety devices, etc etc. She wants to stay in her home but I know she could use what really amounts to more supervision. I've been reaching out to various organizations and inquiring about any sort of subsidized program but all I get is a list of services that will cost $40/hour. I can't afford another $8,400 a year for someone to visit with her for 4 hours a week. I need to fund my own retirement! It's very frustrating when people ask me why I don't just "get someone". I have no idea what I will do if she needs to be in a wheelchair! I guess I always thought that this country would take care of its elders... but there doesn't seem to be any help offered unless the person has less than $1,800 in assets. Are there any solutions that don't involve selling your house or being impoverished? One would think at 91 there would be something!
Why are you spending YOUR funds on this?
If mom wants to "stay at home", she needs to fund that, not you.
What are her finances like? Have you looked at Assisted Living places? Have you talked to an eldercare attorney about accessing Medicaid ?
If she can't take care of her dog (which would include paying for a dogwalker), then she shouldn't have a dog.
You mention you're her only daughter. Are you her only child?
What are your mother's finances? Why isn't she paying for her own expenses?
The network of family, friends, and neighbors who look in on her could fall apart if/when she needs more supervision and help.
It is a program run by each state, which have differing rules. Some states will fund Assisted Living (AL) and LTC. Most states only fund LTC. The application "look-back" can be from 2.5 to 5 years so it is very important that you handle her finances in a way that will not delay or disqualify her. Please consult with a Medicaid Planner for her state.
You should not be subsidizing her living arrangement because it is not wise nor sustainable. She needs to be paying for everything you are now paying for.
So, you need to be her DPoA. You need to consult with a Medicaid Planner and based on the outcome of that discussion, you need to make a plan for the eventuality of your Mom needing a higher level of care, and probably not in her home. It is not very common that Medicaid will fund 100% of the cost of in-home care. 24/7 in-home care will eventually be more expensive than a facility, anyway. Plus a care facility has a social component that is beneficial, rather than being isolated in her own home. She is not really "independent" if a crew of people are orbiting around her to prop up the illusion that she's living "on her own". All it will take is one fall, or forgetting to turn off the burner under the pot for this to all go into crisis mode. So, don't wait to start deciding on solutions. She won't like the thought of change, but you need to do what is financially and physically do-able.
I wish you all the best as you move forward.