My mom and I recently flew to see her brother. She has mild dementia. The whole trip she was fine, just her usual forgetful, slightly confused self. However once we had flown home she became extremely confused, not knowing where we were, had been, and had done. It was upsetting her so much to not know what was going on. I had to calm her down, tell her that it was ok to not remember because in a day or two it would come back (I hope it does, has only been 2 days). I told her to just relax and let me do the thinking for her. Is there anything I could have done before, during, or after her travel to help her not be so confused? Maybe shown her a simple itinerary to keep in hand, or...I don't know.
You can also take pics and video with your mom in them, and show her those at the end of each day to jog her memory (and be aware she may just be pretending to remember it, as a survival tactic, not because she's being deceptive). An itinerary would help but pictures with her and LOs in it would be better. Cell phones are such an awesome tool...remember to use it!
When and if you two travel again, you’ll need to be prepared for the same thing to happen, and you’ll need to decide if the trips are worth it, or if it might be better for Mom if people came to see her. Good luck. Sending (((Hugs))).
My LO was diagnosed as having “mild to moderate dementia”, and since I was familiar with her forgetful and anxiety ridden behavior, I knew pretty much what to expect.
As she continues into her second year of residential care, I notice less ability to deal with situations she finds socially stressful, more confusion about navigating her surrounding, more yelling and cursing, overall a significant change from her previous behavior.
In retrospect, I can now compare “mild” and “moderate”, at least in my own grasp of her illness. When taking care of my MIL, a vacation away from home took her from being fairly independent to becoming disoriented and dependent upon us in a very short period of time.
perhaps your mom was keeping herself together as long as she could, OP.
During the trip, did your mother enjoy seeing her brother? And while you were actually travelling, were you able to keep her occupied and comfortable? It's a matter of balancing the benefits and drawbacks to decide whether a project is worth undertaking, rather than just deciding she mustn't ever do *anything* that might stress or tire her.
Simple explanations given in the situation are best, and yes a basic itinerary might be a good idea; but I think you're dealing with this fine.
Maybe travel is not in her best interest anymore. Even if she enjoys it, is the "cost" too high, with her being so unsettled, etc.?
This is just from my experience personally and in the health and hospice field.
Hoping this is helpful.
When the 2 month bout of pneumonia took my DH's memories, I just told him that is why he had me - I was his memory keeper. It helped a little.
When he didn't recognize me, I learned to just stand there for a minute or so until he focused on me and then recognition would register in his eyes and he'd say, "OH, it is you."
Understanding and compassion are what your mother needs most - not trying to remember that which is gone.